Chapter 9

We had explored only about half of the stalls when the closing time came around. So, with a little shopping, sharing popcorn and cotton candies and taste testing a variety of street food, we had called it a day. 

On our way back home, a mixed sense of excitement and fatigue was cruising through my veins. I was elated about the experience but already nostalgic that it was over. 

Although, before Elisha and Stefan had departed in their own car, we had all agreed and planned on visiting the carnival on the last day too. We had decided that we would stay past midnight that day because the last few hours of the carnival on the last day were magical moments that could not be missed. 

I had not been surprised at myself when I had found myself nodding along to their plan. The doubts that had been in my mind yesterday seemed to have dissipated now. The experience today had proved that everything was strictly friends-only, and everybody knew their boundaries well. We had enjoyed together immensely as a group. 

"We're here," said Jace, parking in front of my house. 

I stifled a yawn and nodded.

"Thank you for the ride," I said, as I unbuckled my seatbelt. 

Jace remained quiet which made me glance at him. 

A frown was etched onto his forehead, and he was nervously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he stared right ahead at the empty road. 

"Everything all right?" I asked. 

As far as I could remember, and if my memory served right, he was absolutely jolly and normal just minutes ago, even after we had started our drive back home. 

"Jace?" 

A chilling air settled heavily around us, sending shivers down my spine. 

He sat as still as a statue, as if I had never spoken. Even in the darkness of the night, I could see his paling face. His lips were set in a tight line and his jaw was clenched. 

He seemed to be frozen within his mind, fighting with himself over something. The passing flickers of uncertainty, hesitancy and undoubtedly regret in his eyes made my insides curl. 

I recognized that look all too well. I could never forget it for it had been haunting me since the past four years. 

My heart clenched. I did not understand what to expect. After what had happened between us, I could never be sure enough about Jace's thoughts and actions. 

"Jace." I touched his arm lightly. 

"I have to tell you something," he said, still staring ahead, his voice a whisper. 

"Wh-what?" I asked. My throat felt too dry all of a sudden. I found it hard to swallow. 

"What is… what is it?" I asked again. 

My eyes were already brimming with tears. Somehow, the atmosphere in the car was screaming and telling me that things were going to change again… like they had changed four years ago. 

The dread that was building up all around us started to dig up pieces of my soul, hollowing me from within. 

This seemed worse than before. But what could possibly outdo that horrible day? 

I should have stayed away from him. I should have never even spoken to him. I have dug my own grave. 

"My girlfriend," he said.

The air stood still. 

My breath caught in my throat, and I wanted to disappear, to run away. I did not want to hear him continue. But I was frozen in my seat, tied down by my own destiny. 

"Is Sierra," he said. 

My stomach dropped. 

For a second, I thought I misheard, so I continued to stare at him, even as my gut twisted with each passing second.

"Sierra is my girlfriend," he said, his eyes still fixed ahead, refusing to even glance at me.

Sierra…

I blinked once, then twice. My lower lip trembled. The tears had long started to run down my cheeks.

How could he betray me like this? He of all people? 

Somewhere in my subconscious mind, a voice told me that it was finally time to leave… to leave forever and never look back. 

Jace was dead to me. 

"G-Good." I heard myself say. 

I opened the door and stepped out. My limbs were moving in robotic motion. I was not controlling them, yet they were carrying me away, saving me from him and myself. 

I did not look back, but I knew that he was still frozen in his seat, too ashamed to look me in the eye. 

My legs carried me to the front door. My fingers found the key in my sling bag. 

The key turned in the lock and the door swung open. 

I stepped inside and the door closed behind me. 

He had shattered every single memory of us ever being friends. This betrayal made me doubt whether our friendship had ever really existed or if it had been just an illusion. 

I reached my room and locked the door behind me. 

My legs gave way, bringing me down to my knees. My hands started to shake and in the darkness of my room, I finally gave up. I finally lost.