Chapter 55: Still More to Come

Mel comes out of the room about five minutes later with a fussing Lucas, she goes to the fridge, places a bottle of milk in the microwave to warm it, then passes it to him. He immediately sticks it in his mouth, starts to suck and lays his head back on her shoulder. Mel goes to the couch and sits next to Markus again. He is watching her intentently. Both waiting for the other to speak.

Markus is looking over at the back of his son’s head. His son. Loose dark brown curls, a little darker than his own is half flattened on his head and half sticking up in tufts. Markus’s palm itches, wanting to reach out and run his hand over his head. His son’s head. Markus has never felt such a mix of emotions in his life. Lucas is holding the bottle in place with one hand, while the other one strokes his mother’s hair. His eyes are closed, like he is doing all of this in his sleep. He looks up at Mel and notices that she is watching him intently.

“Do you want to hold him?” She whispers.

Not being able to find his voice, Markus simply nods. He watches in wonder as she is able to take the bottle out of Lucas’s mouth and move him gently over into Markus’s waiting arms. As Lucas’s weight increases in his arms, it is like Markus can feel a weight in his chest. He is staring down at his son. So many thoughts going through his mind he can’t think straight. He helped make this little boy sleeping in his arms. He did this. Without thought he bends down and smells him. Inhaling that scent every baby has, Markus is overcome with emotion again and he can feel his eyes fill with tears. Markus has always loved children, especially at this age when they are so curious and cuddly. He always knew he wanted children, several in fact. He places a gentle kiss on his son’s forehead and looks over at Mel.

He is not sure what to make of the fact that she is sitting there watching with tears streaming down her face. He starts to worry until she gives him a watery smile and places her hand on top of his, giving it a little squeeze. The fact that she appears to be as overcome with emotion as he is makes him feel a little better.

“How...when was he born?” Markus asks quietly.

Melissa’s lips quirk a little, “April 1st, he will be 16 months on Monday,” she replies.

April first, April fool’s day. He looks back at Lucas, who is snuggled up tight with his thumb in his mouth. This is no joke, however, Markus can’t help the laugh that escapes. At the sound and sudden movement, Lucas’s eyes fly open. Big brown eyes, a shade or two darker than his own stare back at him. Markus, thinking the boy is going to start to cry, brings him up closer to his chest, preparing to pass him over to his mother when he is struck dumb.

Lucas reaches out with two little chubby hands and places one on each of his cheeks, “Dada, kiss,” he says and puckers up his lips. Markus thinks he responded by giving him a kiss but he honestly can’t be sure. There is no mistaking or second guessing what the boy said though, he definitely called him Dada. Tearing his eyes away from his son long enough to glance over at Mel, he sees her nod her head in response to his silent question.

Markus looks down again, only to see that Lucas once again has his eyes closed and is fast asleep. He must have been dreaming, that is the only thing that makes sense. It is the second time he called Markus ‘Dada’ but there is no way the child could know, Markus only just found out himself. He senses Mel getting up as he continues to look at his sleeping son.

Mel is back by his side in a minute and places the picture of him that she looked at earlier on the couch. She reaches her arms out and whispers, “I should put him back down.” Reluctantly, Markus hands him over. As soon as his warm little body leaves his arms, he feels empty inside.

Mel leaves with Lucas and Markus sits there staring into space. Mel is back sitting by his side with the picture of him in her hands before he even realizes she returned.

“Does he know? I mean, how can he know? Does he call all males Dada?” The questions are pouring out of him now, like a valve burst.

Melissa passes him the picture, “I never hid from him who his father was. I showed him this every day since he was born.” She laughs a little and continues, “even before he was born.”

Markus looks at her in surprise, “you did?” Melissa nods her head in response. “But, why did you not tell me?” He asks.

Melissa tears up again, “Markus, there is just so much to tell. So much we need to talk about. I just want you to know that I never intended to keep Lucas a secret from you. Please believe that. I always had full intentions of contacting you.”

“Well, what stopped you?” He asks. “I know we said we would go our separate ways, that when we left the dig, it would be over. I can see now why you wanted that,” he says a little bitterly.

Hurt flashes across her eyes and he immediately regrets that last comment. “Don’t you think a child changes that? You knew where I worked, you could have easily gotten in touch with me. It is not like we were complete strangers.” Markus is getting upset now. He thinks of Jeremy. Hell, he didn’t even know Melissa’s last name and they still managed to find each other. Yes, circumstances were more in their favor but still. He had a right to know!

Melissa has tears streaming down her face again but she is keeping calm. “Markus, I understand that you are upset. But I had just buried Lou when I found out I was pregnant. At first I thought it was the stress and guilt just fooling up my cycle. I mean we used protection every time. And then, well, lets just say I experienced a lot of guilt and depression over my role in his death.”

Markus, even though he is angry right now, jumps in to defend her, “that was not your fault.”

Mel just shakes her head, “Please Markus, could we not get into all of this tonight? I’m exhausted and there is just so much more to tell you.” She reaches over and takes his hands in hers. “Can we call it a night and we can talk again tomorrow or whenever you want? I’ll tell you everything, honestly. I just don’t have it in me to go through everything tonight.” She looks at him with pleading eyes.

“I won’t be kept away from him,” is the first thing that comes out of Markus’s mouth. It sounds more like a promise than a threat though and Melissa visibly relaxes.

“Oh course not. I wouldn’t intentionally do that to you,” she assures him.

He wants to ask her why she would use the word intentionally but he can see the exhaustion in her eyes. He simply nods, then asks, “can I see him again before I go?”

Melissa simply takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom. Quietly she opens the door. Markus was expecting to see a child’s room but the room simply holds a double bed, with a playpen by the side of it. There is a night light plugged in which allows him to look around the tiny room. He looks at Mel, and raises an eyebrow.

“I told you this was a rental. It was all I could get on short notice. I am looking for something more suitable. I haven’t even shipped our things yet,” she is starting to sound a little defensive again.

Markus quietly walks over to the playpen to see his son laying on his stomach, bum in the air in that way all baby’s sleep. He reaches in and brushes his curls away from his forehead and Lucas purses his lips. It is possible to love someone this much on sight? After a few minutes of just watching his little back go up and down as he breathes, Marucs knows he has to leave.

He reluctantly returns to the living room. “Do you have plans for tomorrow?” He asks Mel. She shakes her head no in response. “What time do you usually get up?”

“Lucas is always up by 6 A.M. but he is a cuddler. It is usually 7 before we are actually up for the day,” Mel tells him.

“I’ll be here at 8 with breakfast,” He promises her as he opens the door to leave. He takes one final look at Mel, then around the tiny apartment and thinks of his son in the other room. Marcus makes up his mind then and there. He has a huge house, they are moving in with him. Mel just doesn’t know it yet.