Chapter 33

“I know I’m hot, but keep your legs closed, Mason.”

“Fuck you.” I panted out at him. His mouth moved to my ear, sending a chill down my spine as he whispered.

“I think the correct phrase is ‘fuck me’.”

As soon as the door closed to Beck’s apartment, I knew something in the air had changed. I could just sense it. It was most likely due to that almost kiss but I couldn’t comprehend what this meant for us. The entire time we were at the bar I was trying to decide Beck’s words but I was failing miserably. I had thought Beck only wanted me for sex but now I wasn’t sure.

I was unable to keep myself from blushing. “I’m not his girlfriend.”

“Yet.” Ryder and Benjamin said simultaneously.

“Oh, so the conceitedness runs in the family?” I asked with a roll of my eyes.

“I’m afraid so. Now, tell me more about yourself.”

“Well, I like playing soccer a lot. And if I were to choose between my books and human beings, then I choose books. Also, I think your brother is annoying and has too big of an ego. But wanna know something?”

He nodded.

I stopped the car at the traffic light and turned back to him.

Leaning into his ear, I whispered loud enough for Ryder to hear, “I think I like him.”

The art of breaking hearts is an inscrutable, prepossessing, abstract art. Never ever will you go through with breaking someone’s heart without having your own broken. And it would be very eccentric if one did not go through the process of having their own heart shattered into millions of pieces when trying to do the same to another.

Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way.

“Tell me, Abbey,” He leans against the locker next to her, a smile playing on his lips. “How far is the stick up your ass?”

She slams her locker shut, her stormy gray eyes meeting his sparkling golden brown orbs with a deathly glare. She mocks him, “Tell me, Dalton, does this hurt?”

As the question leaves her mouth, she swings her booted foot back and kicks him in the shin as hard as she can. He yelps in pain, gripping his now throbbing shin.

“Aw, I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?” She cups a hand to her ear, a shit-eating grin spreading across her face. He just silently scowls at her irritating face.

“Come on now, baby,” She coos, teasing him. “Use your words.”

“Can’t do what?” I asked softly, hoping he wasn’t about to dump me on my ass. Seb couldn’t pick up the pieces of what Beck was about to utterly obliterate. It was enough to lose a friend but I absolutely could not lose the man I was secretly in love with. My life was already complicated enough.

“This,” Beck gestured between us. His eyes were burning holes in my body as he looked down at me, taking an intimidating step closer. Even in heels he still easily towered over me. “I can’t wake up with you in my arms every morning and eat every meal with you, have you confess your deepest thoughts to me and vice versa but not be able to touch you, to kiss you, to have you. Danny, I can’t pretend everything is okay. It’s not.”

“Then what do you want Beckett? Tell me, because I’m so confused by your mixed messages,” I fired back with

My hands out at my sides, not angry but definitely frustrated. “One minute you’re about to kiss me, the next we’re making out in a nightclub and your fingering me in hotel rooms but then we’re back to platonic friends who never talk about it. What do you want from me? Sex?”

Beck scoffed at me like I had just told him his entire family was made of monsters. “No. I don’t want just sex from you, Danielle. But it doesn’t matter because all you are going to do is shoot me down like always.”

“So what do you want me to do, Beckett? Not talk to you?” I cut him off as he was about to open his mouth to speak again.

“No, Danielle. Can you not tell that I’m in love with the one woman I can’t have? But it doesn’t matter because you don’t feel the same way. I want to be friends with you, Danny. I really do, but I just need space to get over you

Because this isn’t healthy.” Beck’s calm tone had suddenly turned seemingly hopeless. It hurt me that he was in pain but Beck wasn’t making this easier for me.

My body was frozen at the notion that he was in love with me. Beckett Sampson? My best friend? He was in love with me, the woman who couldn’t keep a boyfriend loyal for more than three months. “I-“

“You don’t have to act nice about it, Danny. It’s fine. I just...I realized today watching you up there being such a strong and powerful woman. I just can’t keep it to myself anymore. You’re so strong and fearless, even if you don’t believe it. After everything you’ve been through, you put everything aside to help other people in similar positions and I find that so amazing; I can’t even put into words how high of a pedestal I’ve put you on. Danielle, I just can’t pretend I’m not in love with my best friend anymore.”

“Beck, you are not making this easy,” I groaned in agony, burring my face in my hands. This shouldn’t be the reaction I have when hearing the man I love loves me back. I felt his finger on my chin, tilting my head up. My face was so conflicted, my brows pulled together and a grimace on my lips. But when I saw the disappointment deep in Beck’s eyes I didn’t know what to do. “You’re not supposed to tell me that. Why the hell do you think I kissed you that night in Minnesota? I’m not going to risk everything to kiss some random guy!”

“What are you-“

“I’m saying I’m in fucking love with you, Beck, and I have been since New York. I’m supposed to be getting over you, not having you confess your feelings to me!” I blurted out. “Do you know how hard it has been for me to keep that a secret, thinking you only wanted to mess around with me?”

Just like I had been frozen a second ago, Beck seemed to pause for a moment, processing everything I said. “Danny, I’ve been flirting with you for months. That night in New York I stopped because I didn’t want to be friends with benefits. I just wanted you. We can keep a secret. Why can’t we just be together if you love me and I love you?” Beck’s deep voice was convincing yet pleading at the same time. How Beck managed to be defiant while sounding like he needed me was beyond my comprehension. He never ceased to amaze me.

“Because there’s too much at risk, Beck. I’ve given up everything for this. I can’t have it thrown away if teams don’t take me seriously. You know they have every reason to avoid drafting me.”

Beck exhaled in frustration at the situation because he knew I was right. I couldn’t afford screw ups. I’d sacrificed my family, my sanity, and I

Was even raped for it; I wouldn’t give up on my dream now. Getting drafted this year was imperative and I had to look like I lived and breathed hockey, nothing else. I wouldn’t want to be a ‘distraction’ to the men and dating one of them sent that exact message.

“Then tell me, Danny,” Beck murmured, looking down at my face as his hands gently brushed my hips. “How are we supposed to act like there’s nothing between us now?”

He pushed me back ever so slightly, my feet taking a step backwards as he walked my body back. Beck continued to do the same thing ever so slowly as he spoke, igniting every nerve in my body. “How am I supposed to ignore the fact that the woman I love, who loves me too, is sleeping in my arms to feel safe every night when I can’t even kiss her, let alone call her mine and protect her.”

My back hit the drywall, the coolness

Bleeding through my dress and the grey suit blazer over it. “You can’t tell me this doesn’t effect you, Danielle,” Beck murmured, running his fingers from my hip up my waist and stopping below my breast.

I wanted Beck more than anything but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take the risk of our relationship ending and ruining our friendship. I was nervous about my career but I was also deathly afraid of destroying my connection with Beck. When had I ever had a successful relationship?

“You don’t want me, Beck. I’ve got enough issues to last you a lifetime and I haven’t kept a guy around for more than a few months.”

His face was so close to mine that out lips were almost touching as Beck spoke, “Then it’s a good thing I plan on going through every single one of them; it leaves me reason to stick around.”

I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his. “Beck, I don’t want to ruin this.” I was scared and I hated to admit it. I didn’t have the mental stamina to survive what would ensue if this ended badly.

“The only way we ruin this is not acting on it.”

“We get drafted in less than three months. What happens when you end up in Edmonton and I’m in Miami? That’s three thousand miles and an eight hour flight. That’s almost indefinitely long distance for a three month old relationship. What happens when we see each other twice a year for ten years, Beck? Then what?” Sure, we had off months but even then we had limited time together. Most players stayed with their teams to practice so Beck and I would get only two months a year together. That’s not how you build a relationship or a family, if it even got to that stage.

“There are three hockey teams with early draft picks based in New York and Newark. That’s a ten minute drive. I don’t want to sound cocky, but you and I have the stats to be first round picks. And if for some reason we don’t end up together, we’ll make it work. Contracts for rookies aren’t five year things; they’re one to three years. We’ll make it work,” Beck tried to reason with me. There are thirty teams; I didn’t like the odds. Beck and I were among the best players in the draft; there was almost no way we would be on the same team. It was possible, but not even remotely likely.

“If we don’t take this chance, we’ll regret it for the rest of our lives. How do two people who are inseparable get over each other when they know the other one feels the same way? They don’t. Danny, give us a shot. We can keep a secret, we can make long distance work. Just don’t shut me out. I love you,” Beck pleaded.

“I love you too,” I whispered back, my hands on the base of his neck. Could we really make it work? Could I find my happily ever after? I hoped so because it took every ounce of courage in my body to move my hands up his neck and tilt my head, connecting my lips with Beck’s for real.

He didn’t waste a second before kissing me with so much passion, I thought I would faint. If our club make out was steamy, this was next level. It was slow and romantic like a romcom at first, both of us pulling back and opening our eyes to see if it was real. As soon as my pupils locked on those sapphire eyes, I was a goner. I smashed my lips into Beck’s plump ones and kissed him with everything I was.

Our teeth nipped each others lips and our tongues fought back and forth, my hands tangling in Beck’s silky jet black hair as his own moved from my hips to my ass. My body was going crazy, I felt like I was legitimately drunk despite

Not having a sip of alcohol in hours. Beck had the ability to drive me crazy with just a look, let alone the feeling of his large hands on my ass, the warmth bleeding through the black fabric of my pants.

All I wanted for so long was to feel Beck touch me like this and now it was happening and I couldn’t think straight. Beck and I had chemistry, that was the undeniable fact that got us in trouble in the first place, but now it felt like a fucking explosion.

His hands lowered to the backs of my thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist. I pulled his torso tightly against my body, bringing my head above his as I kissed him while being pinned against the wall. I didn’t even know how it happened. One second we were fully dressed and the next our suit jackets were in the living room with Beck’s button down, tie, my dress and his pants were in the hall, and my heals and underwear with Beck’s on the

Floor of his bedroom.

I was surprised we made it to his bedroom in all honesty. Last time we ended up fucking in his foyer at first.

“Are you sure about this?” Beck asked me, the hickey on my neck throbbing as Beck pulled away to look me in the eyes as I laid under his hovering body.

“Yes,” I breathed, wanting to feel his bare skin against my own. “More than anything.” He leaned down and kissed me slowly, his arms on either side of my head. It felt like a guilty pleasure to be able to move my lips against Beck’s and taste his minty breath. I wrapped my legs around his waist, flipping us over so I was straddling him.

“Are you going fuck me this time or edge me all night again?” I teased, grinding my hips against Beck while kissing down his abs, feeling the defined curves of his muscles. I teased his V-line with my nails, growing

Incredibly turned by my captain’s body.

“Not a fan of teasing?” Beck taunted me with a smirk. “Because I’d say the result was worth the wait.” He wasn’t wrong. The times I had been intimate with Beck had lead to the best orgasms and experiences of my life. Something about the way he moved against me drove my nerves crazy, euphoria taking over uncontrollably.

My right hand pumped Beck’s large erection, the memory of how sore I was for days after filling my head. There are some types that just hurt but this was the good type of sore; the type that made the memory and the feeling of the night stick with you like a relieving stretch. I fucking loved the way Beck fucked me with more intensity and demand than any other partner I’ve ever been with, but right now I was the one in charge.

I watched Beck’s pearly white teeth

Bite down on the corner of his plump pink lip as I lowered my curvy body onto his dick, achingly taking all of him. A moan left my lips as I got used to the feeling, placing my hands on his defined pectorals as Beck banded his hands around my broad hips. I could have teased and tortured him like he had done to me but I was too impatient right now. I needed to have him.

I rode Beck under his heated gaze, watching the way every curve moved and every muscle twitch. His lips teased from my breasts to my neck while I hovered over his body, the sound of his hand hitting my ass filling my ears like music. The way Beck looked at me was intoxicating, like I was his favorite thing to look at and he couldn’t pry his eyes away. It wasn’t just lust in his face; it was a desire to make me feel a certain way, to hold me, to make me his. That was the best feeling in the world. I felt shielded with Beck, like nothing else mattered. It took me to a place where almost anything

Felt like heaven and I craved it.

When Beck flipped us over again he pinned my wrists next to my head, nipping the creamy flesh on my neck. “You’re so fucking sexy when you ride me like that, Baby.” I moaned his name, Beck’s fingers training town my arms and over my breasts, throwing my legs over his large shoulders as he rammed into me.

“Shit!” I cursed as one of Beck’s hands slapped my ass while his other thumb worked my clit in magical and rough circles, almost as intense as the feeling of Beck pounding me raw. My eyes were practically rolling back into my head as my muscles tightened, pleasure pulsing through my body with the tingles of nerves in my ass. My teeth sunk into my lip as I fought to keep my eyes on Beck’s powerful face as my larger backside started to turn pink from his blows. “Fucking choke me, Beckett,” I moaned out, feeling my orgasm building.

His thumb stayed working my clit as he smirked down at me, wrapping his other large hand around my delicate neck. “God, Danielle. Why are you so fucking perfect?” He murmured, capturing my shallow breaths in his mouth as I kissed him. My core was so tight that I couldn’t even think straight. “Cum for me, Baby. I’ve waited months to make you feel like this.”

And so I did. I combusted under Beck’s watchful eye. His sapphire iris’ took over my vision, nothing else but the intense feelings in my body occupying my mind as he stared into my soul. “I love you, Beckett,” I said without even having to think about it. Beck loved me and I loved him and that was the best feeling in the world right above the things happening to my body right now. Beck’s jaw tightened as his dick twitched and he came inside of my dripping core for what would be the first time tonight.

To make you feel like this.”

“I love you too, Danny.”

And I knew he didn’t just say it because we were fucking.

He meant it with all his heart and so did I.