Chapter 422: 2-1

Chapter 50.2 – Kieran POV ‘You don’t have to be alone,’ Nona had whispered the words on her way out of my assigned room. And this was just one of the many things that were new and confusing to me. And if that wasn’t enough, things further baffling? Grant and his many questions. He and everyone else were throwing me off track especially when I knew the truth. I knew who I was, and what I’ve done. Then, now, here they all were trying to trick me, confuse me and me see things that weren’t all the truth but there was a tiny problem that I just couldn’t do. Bring myself to tell them the truth. They already know Kieran, Chelsea and Gabriel can read your mind, if they were going to hurt you, don’t you think that they would’ve done it by now? Nyx asked. Maybe they aren’t punishing me for the things I had done before, but now – no! Your room was messed up; don’t you remember how they reacted? They didn’t say anything, they didn’t focus on it Kieran! ‘Are you one of those people that shouldn’t get punished in that way?’ Grant asked me before, trying to get me to see things his way – tell him what you did that you think was so wrong Kieran, tell him. Open your mouth, and tell him what you did! After? Tell him the truth, Nyx growled. And I was already shaking my head, it’s not fair Kieran, he continued, you want him to form his own opinion of you? Well that is how! You tell him what you think you’ve done wrong, and let him decide for himself. ‘You don’t have to be alone,’ Nona didn’t know what she was talking about; I deserved to be more than just left alone. I’d never be like everyone else here; I’d always be the ugly spot in a beautiful place. But maybe Nyx had a point. Maybe if everyone knew just how defective I truly was, they’d see things correctly, see things as Connor had. He was the one that hurt me, but maybe he knew the truth, maybe he was the one that had seen things correctly in the first place. They why did Chelsea take away his wolf if he was the one that had the correct attitude towards you? Nyx countered. I mean Kieran are you saying that the Luna was wrong? My eyes widened in fear, you shouldn’t think those things,I replied. My stomach was rolling, nearing six in the afternoon, I knew that Grant would be coming by once again, he just never seemed to give up, because he wants to help you, Nyx thought but I just continued to walk, pace in my room. By the third circuit the carving tools Chelsea had given me were just taunting and puzzling me further. Not only had she purchased the set I saw and wanted, she added another wooden case set with eighty pieces, and another machine that carvers used. “You made beautiful frames Kieran, you should have the tools so you can continue to do so if you should want to continue,” she said with a smile. Yet you haven’t touched them? Because I didn’t want to get used to having them, incase she took them away. They’re yours… like the picture of Oakley… has she taken that away? It’s different. How? Throwing myself onto my couch I ignored Nyx, he wasn’t on my side anymore, since everyone came he just agreed with them when before I knew I had him so I wouldn’t be alone. But you were alone, I’m not someone that can hold your hand like Oakley did Kieran, he told me before quieting down. Just as expected, a few moments later a knock pulled me from my thoughts, opening the door, Grant smiled brightly at me, “How are you today?” he asked after I let him in, sitting on the desk chair leaving me the sofa. Sitting my muscles tense, “Oh wow, Chelsea went all out for you huh?” he pointed looking over all the tools on the table, “Then again, you’re talented with little tools, the designs you’ll be able to make now…” he continued. I just couldn’t understand why he kept on coming back, because he wants to help. I can’t be fixed, I replied. “So… what did you do today?” I shrugged, “I – I listened to the recording Oakley made me,” I said my face heating. “What else?” he continued not reacting in any way, just giving him a nice smile. “Nothing else…” no one really wanted to be around me, the only friend I have – had – was Oakley and I had to get rid of her. “So did you think about those questions I asked?” I nodded, “But I don’t want to talk about that,” I said right off the bat surprising myself. “Okay… what would you like to talk about?” he said resting back, one hand on his stomach, his elbow on my desk, just waiting. Was it safe? “You said I pushed Oakley away?” “No, I didn’t say that, you did that. I’m just reiterating what you did verbally,” he said cocking his head to the side, his blue eyes focused on me… and while I couldn’t read the look on his face, I did not see a sneer, or coldness. “You didn’t – you – no one seemed to mind that she wanted to be around me…” I blurted out the words not planned. My hands sweating, cold, I waited. “That’s not a question,” he said again waiting. I nodded, swallowing, it wasn’t a question, “Why – I mean – why?” Taking pity on me, he nodded sighing, “You don’t seem like the type to hurt her, I don’t think you would hurt Oakley purposely,” he answered. “But you don’t know me,” I muttered. I could hurt her; the white coats thought I would be able to hurt someone. He nodded, finally Grant was agreeing with me, “You’re right, I don’t know you, but I do know Oakley…” “What-” I started to ask but then I just shut my mouth. Grant chuckled, “Oakley wouldn’t stay around someone that was hurting her, she didn’t do it back in Middleburg and I don’t think she would start doing it now,” he snorted, but that statement just made my mind go wild. “Oakley had her own white coats back in Middleburg? She didn’t mention that… only some woman named Sarah and Amelia… no white coats.” She also didn’t have any scars on her body, I had seen her in a swimsuit and shorts, and no marks only smooth creamy skin. “I have a few questions,” he said, and I was beginning to think that this was his favorite thing to say. “Oakley told you about Sarah and Amelia?” I nodded hoping he wouldn’t ask me exactly what she said. “Do you know that I asked her endlessly when we were back there, and she never opened up… she just gave up, left the house as much as she could staying away from Sarah and Amelia.” He wasn’t asking me anything but; then again, I had remembered Oakley telling me just that. “What I’m getting at is, Oakley trusted you Kieran… she doesn’t trust easily, but she opened up her mind and feelings to you. She respected and felt safe to speak to you about something so private to her.” I nodded, not sure where he was going with this. “It’s hard, sometimes… to trust someone with things that are inside you, you get worried that they will look at you differently. That they will judge you, but it’s more than them judging you... It’s all the negative things you think of yourself, it’s that person agreeing with you, validating all the negative things you believe in that really is hard.” My mouth went dry. “And so… before that person can push you away, you push them away first. You hold them far enough so that you never have to put yourself on the line, you never have to hear them confirm what you think of yourself.” My heart started beating quickly the more he spoke to me.