Chapter 392: 1-5

"I would like a unisex room color, because if I were in Meredith's position, I wouldn't care if my baby was a boy or a girl, just as long as he or she was healthy." "You heard me saying that to my mother, when we were packing up some of the gifts from her baby - baby shower," Aunt Julia said to me. I nodded; I had my enhanced hearing by then. She sighed contently laying her head against uncle Grants shoulder, "So these are my ideas, but this is from Ben," I said picking up the box and walking it to them. Taking it on her lap she removed the wrapping paper. "I know your mom starts them special in your family but - we figured you'd still want to have one even though she didn't make it," he explained when she pulled out the baby scrapbook that wasn't made by her mother but had the same idea. On the front cover held one empty space, the other two filled - each with one baby photo of uncle Grant and aunt Julia. By now Aunt Julia seemed to be beyond words, just smiling, and crying all at once, she rushed over to Ben hugging him, awkwardly while she held the book in her empty hand. After that McKenna and Greta went and grabbed two different baskets placing them in front of Grant and Julia, one containing hand sewn dresses, "I know you don't really know me, but my mom she likes to sew and so, she made these maternity dresses. You it's truly warm here so she used a light fabric so you won't overheat," McKenna said when Aunt Julia stood lifting one of the dresses up to her. In the basket Greta brought, she hand ten baby blankets, in ran, white, a few blues, ivory and grey. "I'm sure you miss your mom, and I'm not taking her place or nothing, but I just thought I would share a tradition I had for my kids. We use these as individuals blankets while they're little and once they get a bit older I make one larger blanket from them, so they can keep it." Greta smiled. We hadn't known her for very long but it was obvious that she seemed to take on a mothering roll with everyone, Chelsea, Gabriel, Kieran, myself, Ben... I had come to the conclusion that Greta just had a nice heart and she was always looking to offer a bit of that nice heart to those around her. The only two people that had been on this island that came today were Kieran and Kiley's mom, Helen, each with their own gift for aunt Julia. I wasn't sure what Helen had come with however, but I knew Kieran's plan, having helped on it, again with Chelsea's help. "So this a special concoction for stretch marks, I make it from ingredients only found on the island, just rub twice a day," Helen said giving her a glass jar full of the yellowish stuff. Until finally, Kieran was the last to go, nervously he pushed the box towards aunt Julia and uncle Grant, moving away quickly, removing the lid there were twelve hand made frames. Each already filled with a picture, but they could only tell when Uncle Grant pulled one of them up, "He made them him self," I said when I realized Kieran wouldn't tell them that. "Thank you Kieran," Aunt Julia said, "Oakley said you have a big family back home, didn't want your baby not to know them, when you know," Kieran shrugged next to, twitchy when everyone was focused on him. Sensing that discomfort, I offered him my hand, slowly our fingers interlocked and the tension seemed to lessen. . . Later when my aunt and uncle went home, leaving Ben and I at Chelsea's for the night, I sat in the library I loved to read with Kieran, or alone, my journal on my lap. Dear Daddy, So I already told you earlier that aunt Julia and uncle Grant are having a baby, as well as them thinking that I would feel abandoned that they were having a baby. They said they were worried because of how I reacted to you and Sarah having a child... I had found the pregnancy test that Sarah left in the trash bin, chances are when you read this you'll say that it was an accident and that Sarah never meant for me to find out the way I did. Just so you know... I don't believe that now, and I won't believe it when you tell me that when we see each other again. She specifically told me not to forget the one in your washroom, so I'm not sure how she thought I wouldn't. I'm not quite sure what you saw in Sarah, she wasn't a better mother than momma, the only difference was that my mother was murdered. You don't know this now, nor would you have known back then, but Sarah can't hold a candle to Momma. Sarah is weak and selfish, and the only thing I'm happy about right now, is that you won't be bringing her baby into momma's house. You won't be using momma's money to care for Sarah or that baby. But as I was saying, uncle Grant and aunt Julia were worried, so I'll say this now, your new baby, I'm not mad at it and I don't hate him or her. He or she is innocent in all this as am I. I'm a wolf and yes I've already written why I did what I did, I want to add that knowing you got Sarah pregnant and that you were going to bring one more child into our home is just one more reason I did what I did. To me, that baby represents the fact that I will never get you back; it was confirmation that you would never put me first. I didn't want to see you loving on Amelia and this new baby, while I was on the sidelines in my own house watching. It was petty but at the time I couldn't help but wonder where you were going to put this new baby... we didn't have the room for it, so what more were you going to take away from me to give to this baby? That was constantly on my mind, as well as seeing this new baby as some sort of betrayal. Before you had even came around to being my daddy, you were going to be this babys daddy and it was just one more person and time I knew I'd have to wait for you to come back to loving me. I know you said you love me, but Chelsea and Gabriel, as I told you earlier said that actions speak louder than words, and I'm sure when you read this you're going to be objecting everything I write and seeing it your way but just for a minute read my words.