Chapter 351: 2-2

I shook my head, because it was the truth, I just didn’t think I was good enough to be friends with, no one had wanted to be my friend, I was used to that. I just didn’t understand her or any of my thoughts concerning her. I had caught her scent, blatantly following her to the beach the very first day, overhearing what my sister and Kiley had told her about me, leaving before she agreed like the others to stay away from me. Running angrily up that mountain, so I wouldn’t have to listen to yet another person talk about how dangerous I was, when in fact the one person that knew just how dirty I was had yet to say a single word to anyone as far as I knew. Oakley lifted her hand, pushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, still looking at me, trying to figure me out no less, when I didn’t even know where to begin. But she was different, she hadn’t done what others had tried, which I guess is what made it so easy to be around her. She didn’t ask me to talk to her, not once, not even now. She would read, ask questions and sometimes even answer those questions for me, while I just stared at her in confusion. There had to be a trick, she had to be fake, because nearly three years of people either staying away or begging me to be human and talk to them, she still didn’t do that. Nothing changed with how she looked at me, wide green eyes, honest and open. When she was hurt I could see it. When she was happy, I could tell. So I didn’t understand just why she was so happy to be around me? Why did she seek me out even when I was a wolf, knowing I couldn’t speak? Maybe she just wanted to spend some time with you? And she told you, you don’t think she’s weird…Nyx chimed in again, but that didn’t help, Oakley was perfect, even though she was younger I still saw the way the others looked at her. They thought she was pretty, and she was. My eyes widened at the thought and I waited for Nyx to say something,but he didn’t and so the thought just over took everything. I didn’t want to think that she looked pretty; because when I did my mind went places I didn’t want it too. I didn’t want to remember what those words meant in facility. Suddenly, I stood again; backing away from Oakley and the chair I was on, is that why Chelsea and Gabriel wanted me to come here? That had to be why… they didn’t want me to hurt Oakley like… I wouldn’t do that though. I wouldn’t hurt her. “Kieran,” Oakley called standing again, more of her weight on her good leg, but her face full of concern for me, “Please don’t go,” she whispered sadly as I took a step back, closer to the stairs. I froze to my spot when I saw the tears in her eyes form, confused more now that ever. People cried when they were hurt or sad… going and staying away from me made her sad? That couldn’t be right. She took step trying to come closer, but one head shake and she stopped, “Sorry…” I couldn’t – why couldn’t she understand? She was making this harder… everyone else had made it so easy, staying away from me, giving me my space, knowing that I was no good, even though they didn’t know all the bad things I had done. You didn’t want to do those things, Nyx said but we still did them and that’s all that mattered. No one knew what I had done, but when they did, Oakley wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. She wouldn’t want to come see me, read out loud, or talk to me; she would look at me like everyone else. “It’s better to be alone,” I murmured but in the quietness here, it was like I shouted the words at the top of my lungs. Oakley looked away, sitting once again she nods, “I used to think that too… because it’s easier. You don’t like me do you?” my stomach turns, twists and sinks when her voice registers, when the words are absorbed. I blink. I know that tone. ‘When are mommy and daddy coming for me?’ I asked the man sitting in the chair watching me in the cage. It had been so long, I just didn’t know how long but I had cried myself to sleep many times. I still asked, I knew they were looking for me. ‘Can you tell them I’m sorry I went outside alone, even though I know I wasn’t suposta?’ I asked because after much more time mommy and daddy didn’t come and that was why. I was bad and didn’t listen. ‘They aren’t coming for me,’ I said a loud to myself after even more time, they didn’t need me; I wasn’t good like Connor or Dominic. Blinking rapidly, my chest seizes, and I’m struggling to pull air inside, as the memory clashes with the present. “Oh… god… Kieran?” I hear through a fog, a layer that swaddles me, not releasing me. “I – I don’t know – Kieran are you okay?” the voice calls me and I can’t pull myself from the memory, but I hold onto the voice. I claw at my neck, close my eyes and then I hear it the most beautiful voice, clearing the fog, bringing me back to the present. Somewhere over the rainbow way up high, There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. Someday I’ll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far Behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops