Chapter 249

“She was telling me not to do it,” I said with a bit of reluctance, not wanting to see their reactions, the – the disappointment maybe…“The voice told you not to harm yourself?” Uncle Grant asked gruff, slow. I nodded, “she said that I should hold on, that it would be okay, that I wasn’t alone, but I didn’t know that the voice was because of what I was or would be… I was just so tired Uncle Grant and I mean… I was hearing a voice… it’s not like that thing you see on T.V sometimes where there’s like a good you on one shoulder and then a bad you on the other,” I wasn’t explaining this right but it was hard to find words, explaining what I was experiencing to someone that wouldn’t feel it. “Sometimes it would be okay, it was comforting, but most of the time, it was scary,” I whispered. “When was it comforting to you Oak?” I tilted my head thinking of when it was a relief to have heard Byrdie, “When I… when I could hear what people said about me from a far…” I shrug one shoulder, neither aunt Julia or uncle Grant spoke so I inhaled deeply, releasing and I continued, “I can hear everything… if I was in one classroom I can hear what’s being said in another, throw walls. It’s faint but I can hear it, which was something else that made me anxious, but then I can be walking and if someone was across the street, talking about me, or about momma, saying how she abandoned us, I could hear it, and – and the voice would tell me that they didn’t matter, what they were saying wasn’t the truth, I knew the truth. It hurt, because it would be people that smile to my face, are nice to me, but from a distance, they would be talking bad about me, momma, I could hear everything Sarah said about momma… and – and at first I couldn’t control it, like it was hard to control what I listened too, until I could just tune it all out, sometimes its annoying,” I finish in a huff, the words spilling out of me, aunt Julia’s eyes watery, her lips thin – uncle Grant just looks defeated but I don’t understand why. “So you could hear every insult, taunt, whispered word, from everyone?” aunt Julia’s voice rising as she speaks, her face grim, I nod. “For how long?” she asks in a sharp gasp. I purse my lips thinking, “about a year now… I guess everyone’s always talked about us, kids teasing me that momma didn’t want me that she ran away from me, but I never heard the ones from a far, but then I could and-” I stop just shaking my head, “When I was around you guys or at the community college, that’s pretty much the only time where I wouldn’t be taken off guard about people saying things about momma or me, you guys never mention her around me, not even from a far…” I said with a bit of awe and a smile, “and at the community college, no one really cared about if momma left or not, they were concerned or whispering about my age,” I said with a small snort. Ben remained silent to my side, just holding my wrist, toying with the bracelet I had on, “Are you happy here Bee?” he whispered when I finished. He didn’t look up, or stop what he was doing, his voice small but he wasn’t giving much away. I didn’t want to be selfish but, “I wasn’t – I feel the same but different, like I can just be here, and-” I didn’t want to make it seem like I wasn’t taken care of back home, but it was different here. I knew more here than I did back home, I knew I wasn’t going crazy, I was hearing my wolf, not just a voice, and I was wanted here. I didn’t feel like that back home. I missed daddy, but I knew he would’ve fancied Sarah and Amelia be here and I loved that it was just us… “I…” Ben finally looked up, “I’m happy you guys are here with us,” he said to aunt Julia and uncle Grant, “I – I know dad is probably real sad, but we’ll go back eventually and when we do, well be trained up and know how to protect ourselves…” he nodded to himself. I squealed, bubbly, “I’m happy you’re here Benny,” I wrapped my arms around his smaller – not by much – body thankfully. “What are we? Chopped liver?” uncle Grant pouted, his blue eyes sparkling, aunt Julia, clapped her hands together, standing, “big ol’ child,” she muttered under her breath, but I lifted a brow at her, her cheeks flushed when she realized I heard that too. She hung her head back, holding in her laughter, “How about dinner? I think we have the ingredients to make spaghetti?” she looked to Benny, uncle Grant and I, I nodded, “Yeah, I’m starving,” Benny exaggerated, patting his belly. I knew things weren’t magically fixed, I’d probably be talking more to uncle Grant, but for the moment I felt more hopeful than I had in months. “Okay well… lets really take a look around, see what we have and then we can write those lists that Chelsea-” “Our sister,” I whispered, not meaning to cut him off but all eyes cut to me, I just pretended I couldn’t feel their gaze on me and eventually uncle Grant continued, “right, that your sister said we could write for things we’d need or like… how does that sound?” I nodded, standing walking to the den that held baskets of clothes, four well folded, everything still wrapped or with tags. Two weeks supplies of underclothes, different shirts and summer beach dresses, three bathing suits, I lifted one and eyed the pool that now that the steel window covers were gone looked pretty inviting. “Wanna go swim?” I asked Ben eagerly, who nodded, and we turned to uncle Grant, who just snorted – but nodding – giving us the go ahead. Grabbing my basket of things I took off to the stairs behind the kitchen leading to the second floor, “I want the corner room on the right!” I declared, they were all similar, large bed on bamboo looking cases, a chair and desk, small TV, bare windows, white bedding. The only difference was the view. . . Grant Lawson POV I watched silently as Ben grabbed his own basket, slower than Oakley, but followed her, taking the room next to hers, entering the two of them changing quickly, then heading outside on the deck jumping into the pool fooling and jumping on each other. Standing I leave Julia and my own baskets on the floor, heading over to my wife, I sighed, resting against the corner as she cooked. “What?” she asked not even turning to look at me, not that she’d need to see me to know what I was thinking right now, we knew how to read each other, I could hear the kids giggling, teasing each other, see them splashing each other, knowing what we did about Oakley I grabbed a pen and a sheet of paper. ARE WE DOING THE RIGHT THING HERE? I slipped the paper towards her. She nodded, washing her hands, and then lowered the stove boiling the noodles, before replying.