Chapter 224

“I’m worried that Dad’s going to send us away because Oakley’s his real daughter. Mom said that she didn’t do this for attention, but she’s always the center of attention. I mean she even did this on my birthday. There so much that she already gets that I don’t, she’s never really at the house, she gets to go to the private school all my friends go too even though she doesn’t have any friends there-” I see Grant and Wagner relax in their chair as the bomb that Grant and Marvin said would blow up one day – does. Ben turns so he’s facing Amelia, interrupting her “Our mom pays for us to go to school, she left money for school. How is that Oakley or my fault?” he doesn’t wait for an answer. “Plus Oakley’s smart and your school wasn’t hard enough for her, she even takes one class at the community college,” Ben states Oaks’ accomplishments proudly. “Ben we don’t-” Wagner started to say but Amelia cuts her off answering Ben, “Oh God!” she rolls her eyes, “We all know just how smart Oakley is, mom says it all the time, brags to different people about Oakley’s good grades, oh Oakley won an award… but if she so smart why’d she do something so stupid?!” Amelia snapped. “Amelia Lawson!” Both Sarah and I warn. Ben jumps to his skinny chicken legs; “Because she hates you and mom!” he shouts shaking. “You came in and changed everything, and it hurt her feelings,” his voice shakes and I know it’s either because he’s angry and wants to cry or he’s hurting for his sister. I stand to pull him towards me – offer him some comfort as his little hands tremble at his sides – away from Amelia and Sarah’s stunned faces. But when my hand touches him, her turns on me, his blue eyes hurt with the same hurt I just saw from Oakley. “It’s your fault she hurt herself dad!” his blonde hair going every which way but his eyes are on mind, his head tilted up to watch all six feet two inches of me. “Ben, what happened isn’t anyone’s fault,” Wagner says calmly not raising her voice but still able to remain firm. And for a moment I swear that I see his eyes change, darken to cobalt blue, when he spins to face her angrily. “It is his fault! I went to her- I went to Oakley before he went to her room and I told her I’d bring a plate up for her, but he said that she should come downstairs so he went up there and brought her down. Then she said how she was really feeling and he sent her back up there when she didn’t even want to be there at all!” he shouted shaking. Furious. “What was the point of making her come down if you were only going to just send her back up there?” and as a parent it’s like my son has grown three feet and I lost three and we are at the same level. “She’s here because of you dad! And why won’t you let me see her? When is she coming home?” he asks his eyes boring into my own and I’m frozen to my spot. Thinking of his words. I did do that to her. I made her come down when she didn’t want too then sent her back. Wagner clears her throat, “Okay lets just all calm down,” she nods, I sit but Ben just watches between us, suspiciously like he’s trying to solve some problem in his young mind. “When is Oak coming home?” he asks once more, I flick my eyes to Grant and see the support there and handle this, “Ben sit down, and we’ll talk about that,” I say trying to keep things mellow again. He sits stiffly, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, but more tears full to the brim, waiting, “Oakley – Oakley wants to go live with Uncle Grant when she is released from here-” “Then I want to go with Uncle Grant too, I want to stay with my sister!” he declares. “I’m your sister too,” Amelia whispered hurt and I could see the hurt in Sarah’s eyes too, but before I could say anything, that fire was back in Ben’s eyes. “What’s my birth mom’s favorite color?” “What did my mom smell like?” “What did she like to bake on Mondays?” “What song did she used to sing when Oakley was a baby?” “What did her laugh sound like?” “Why did she start calling Oakley Bumblebee?” “Why did she paint my room like the trees?” Oakley can remember all that? I flicked my eyes to Grant; horror in my eyes I’m sure, because to me it feels like his face reflects my racing heart. If Oakley could remember all those things… she knew what happened that night, but she just wasn’t talking, I thought but Ben continued. “Why did she paint the living room the color it was before mom changed it?” “Did she like winter or summer better?” “Do you know any of those answers Amelia?” he asks her the fight gone from him now, as Sarah’s eyes fill with tears, Amelia shakes her head and looks away biting on her lip. “I love you guys, but I need to go with Oakley, she needs me and I want too,” I don’t give an answer; I’m too taken a back that I didn’t know how he felt. What else had I missed? ________________________________