Chapter 214

“You love them all the same, but in the process of trying to make it your home, you and Pat, you’ve used your relationship with him to give slight ultimatums. You may not be aware of what you were doing but as a woman you wanted to make sure that if Norine came back, and tried to take her family, she’d see that you had taken her place and Pat you wanted Sarah to feel secure that if Norine came back you wouldn’t take her back, so you supported Sarah, while you should’ve been supporting Oakley.” “Oakley doesn’t feel like a priority to you Pat, this wasn’t a cry for attention, this was a way of making you happy. You’ve put her mother down endlessly, and Sarah, you’ve been doing it where she has heard you do so, in her own home.” “Pat, you’re entitled to your happiness, but as Grant said, you weren’t listening to Oakley. I know from what you’ve told me that there was no investigation for Norine because of how the home appeared, her things gone and packed the ring she left, but the only person that knows what happened is Oakley. And whatever happened, Oakley is one hundred percent sure that her mother won’t be coming back, she knows more than she’s saying Pat. Much more.” I hunch over resting my elbows on my knees, hanging my head, but the doctor continues, “Oakley has no value for herself, she doesn’t even see herself in the same league as your other children, you were adults and so you set the pace of your relationship-” “You moved Amelia and Sarah in quickly do you mind telling me why?” “When I met Sarah and Amelia, they were having a bit of a rough time getting by, we lived in that big house, we were heading towards marriage as it was, Sarah couldn’t afford to keep their place so to save money she moved into the house,” I answered not regretting that decision a day in my life until today. Dr. Wagner nodded, writing a few things down, “Did you know that Oakley begun menstruating?” she asked Sarah who shook her head; I could see the sadness there too. She wanted to show love to Oakley, but she just wasn’t accepting it. More nodding, “You two have railroaded that poor girl, she said something very profound for such a young girl, Amelia wanted a father figure but she didn’t want that, she doesn’t want it, and she won’t want it. You took the pace of her accepting your new relationship into your own hands, and somehow she got left behind. She didn’t want it. You can’t go back and change your mistakes but moving into that home and making changes, erasing memories that weren’t yours to erase…” “How bad is this? No… that’s a stupid question… what do we do to fix this?” “I don’t believe you’re going to like this, but I’d recommend therapy for Oakley, as well as changing people from her environment. Giving her a chance that you didn’t give her when she was seven years old…” she says frankly with a matter-a-fact tone. “No, we aren’t separating, we don’t want to do that…” Sarah says confidently, but then not, “Right Pat?” Dr. Wagner doesn’t give me a chance to answer. “It’s not about what you want right now, it’s been six years of what you have wanted, and this is where we are because of that. She tried to take her life, do you know the hopelessness  and desperation you have to feel for you to even attempt to take your life?” Wagner fiddles with the TV. Going back to when Grant and I begun talking, “Do you see that?” she pointed to Oakley, her eyes closed, and her body deflates, Wagner turns back to us, “That right there is disappointment, that she woke up, when she realized that she was still going to have to deal with Sarah and Amelia, with the taunts, with her life.” “So we bend to her will? Separate our family because she does this? Isn’t that just setting precedence?” “Again, Oakley wasn’t doing this for attention, she wanted to kill herself, she doesn’t expect you to for once, put her feelings forward, she wanted to die and if something in her life doesn’t change, she is going to try it again and this time she’ll make sure she succeeds…” I glance at Marvin, he’s had choice words to say about my decisions but no one fought more than Grant, seeing the train wreck before it was one. “Obviously we need to keep Oakley for a bit more, she’ll have daily therapy while here for a few days, but in terms of going home I think you guys are going to have a problem. Because she is a minor I had to speak with Amelia and Ben as well-” “They get along fine,” I jumped in, Wagner nodded giving me a tight smile, “Yes but I think Oakley needs to be removed from the situation, Amelia, feels secure in the home, but would prefer that Oakley be nicer to her but had no other complaints…” I nodded. “However… Ben, he doesn’t want to be separated from his sister,” I glanced at Sarah focusing on Wagner again, “From Oakley.” I thought he wouldn’t want to be separated from Amelia. “He loves you and Amelia, Sarah but Oakley is the last piece of his birthmother and he doesn’t want to part with that or her,” her words left me reeling. I certainly never knew he felt this way about Norine, or that he saw Oakley as his last link. “It has nothing to do with you and Amelia,” she directed to Sarah, “to Ben, since he was little he had Oakley, do you know that he asked her if it was okay to love you Sarah? He asked her if she would mind and she told him it’s okay that he loves you and Amelia…” I rest back stunned. “He asked her if she thought Norine would come back… she told him that Norine wasn’t coming back, that she was sure of it-” “Wait what?!” Grant and I said instantaneously. “Yes, she told Ben it was okay,” the words broke me; I stood leaving Sarah on the sofa, resting against the wall, nodding for Wagner to continue. “He loves you Sarah, and Amelia as I said before, but his loyalties’ – for lack of better word – lie with Oakley.”