Chapter 56: Chapter Fifty-Six

Aubrey

I try to sort myself out the best I can as I wait for Everett to come up. I just woke up and probably look terrible, but he has seen me in a worse state. I don’t know why he is here. I told him to take a couple of days. Unless he has made up his mind and decided that he will end it now, rather than wait a couple of days. I said what I needed to. The next move is his. I won’t hold it against him. I would rather we are honest with one another before we get in any deeper.

He knocks on my door. I take a deep breath, unlock it and pull it open.

“Everett, what are you doing here?” I ask.

He rubs the back of his neck, eyes to the ground. It is signs he is nervous. Since when does he get nervous?

“We need to talk,” he says and walks straight in.

I close the door behind me, locking it again and turn to him. Everett is staring at me, not saying a word. For someone who wants to talk, he isn’t very talkative. He reaches for my hand, leads me to the living room, sits on the sofa, and motions for me to sit next to him. I do, but he doesn’t drop my hand.

“Then talk. I said what I needed to. It is your turn.”

Everett drops my hand and jumps to his feet, beginning to pace my living room, muttering to himself. I have never seen him so anxious. I thought telling me he isn’t interested would be an easy thing for him. It isn’t like the first time he has done it.

“Everett, can you please stop pacing? You are making me dizzy.”

He sighs, but finally stops and drops to his knees before me. “I am sorry. I don’t know how to do this. I am not used to doing this. I am nervous. You are making me nervous.” He rambles, sweat gathering on his forehead.

“Everett, just tell me what you need to, okay? There is no point in dragging it out. If you don’t want anything between us, then you can walk, and that will give me my answer.”

Everett shakes his head frantically. “I didn’t come here for that.”

“You didn’t?” I don’t mean to sound so surprised.

“No. I came here to tell you I don’t want us to cut each other out, Aubrey. I like having you in my life, and I don’t mean just for sex. I think you like having me around, too. I don’t know how to do this, Aubrey. It has been a long time since I have had more than sex with someone. The last time I had a relationship was as toxic as fuck. It didn’t work well for me. I don’t want it to be that way with you because you have been through enough. You don’t need another asshole in your life who doesn’t treat you right.” Every word is shaky.

He is referring to Tara, the woman he brought to Hugo’s birthday to make me jealous.

“Everett, your words are confusing me. One second, it sounds like you want to try, and the next, it sounds like you don’t. Please tell me exactly what you mean.”

I don’t want to get my hopes up and jump to the wrong conclusion.

He draws in a breath and runs his fingers through his hair. “I want to be with you, Aubrey, but I am scared. I don’t want to end up hurting you. I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend. I never really let anyone close enough to make me that. Then you came along, and everything changed.”

It seems harder for him to tell me these things than it did for me when I was pouring my heart out.

“Everett, I understand that. I am scared, too, after everything that happened the last time. I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone else in. It is going to take some time for both of us for different reasons. We both have our demons and our trust issues. We need to work on them, and if we want to try this, we need to work on them together and take things slow,” I say softly, resting my hand on his cheek and caressing it with my thumb.

Everett sighs, closes his eyes and moves into my touch. “Yes, we need to work these things out. What do we do about Hugo and Erica? Do we tell them?”

“No, not right now. We need to see if it will work between us. If we tell them, and it doesn’t work, you know it will make everything worse. I don’t mean to sound negative. I am just being honest.”

It could go either way. It could work out, and we fall crazy in love, or we could try, it doesn’t work, and it ends in heartache.

“Good point. We should see how it goes. Hugo is going to kill me,” he groans.

“Probably, but if you want to try this, then it is a risk that needs to be taken.”

“I know. I am willing to take it. Where do we go from here?” he asks, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“Hmm, I am not sure. We should probably go on a date, but we need to be careful where we go.”

“Yes, we do. I will work it out.” He smiles and reaches in, covering my lips with his.

I smile into the kiss and place my hand on his face, kissing back. He parts first.

“Everett, are you sure you want this? This isn’t going to be all about sex.”

“If I wasn’t sure, do you think I would be here? I know it isn’t, sweetness. Do you want me to stay or go home? I mean to sleep, nothing more.”

“I want you to stay. It is late, and you drove here.”

He nods, gets to his feet and offers me his hand. I happily take it, and he helps me to my feet. Everett pulls me tightly against his chest. “I am sorry if I mess this up.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now. We both have a long way to go.”

Everett nods and dips his head down to peck my lips before he leads us to my bedroom. I slip into bed, and he strips down to his boxers, climbing in next to me. I snuggle into his side, resting my head on his chest.

His arm slips around me, holding me close, and he kisses the top of my head. “We should get some rest, beautiful.”

I switch the lamp off, and we settle down for the night. I honestly don’t know how this will turn out, but I am willing to try and find out. It is a lot for him and for me, but if we are supposed to be more than we have been until now, then it will work out.