Chapter 5 Sting of a strangers Name
Maddie Pov
The mattress was thin under me. I curled up on my side with my knees pulled to my chest. The desk lamp in the corner gave off this weak yellow light that made everything look sad. I pressed my cold fingers against my left cheek, pain shot through my face so fast I had to bite my lip.
It was still hot , sill swollen. I could feel the exact shape of her fingers burned into my skin. Tears filled my eyes but I blinked hard because I was done crying over people who hurt me. The tears came anyway, they slid down my face. When they touched the red mark it burned worse.
I rocked back and forth a little. It used to help when I was scared, right now I was terrified. My whole body still felt like it was on fire from when that boy looked at me. When he stood between me and that crazy blonde girl. When his eyes met mine for just a second.
"Gory," I whispered into the dark room. My voice cracked. "What was that? Why did my whole body light up when he looked at me?"
Silence.
"Gory, please," I said. "I need to understand. It felt like fire in my veins, like my blood was boiling. I've never felt anything like that before."
Her voice came back low and certain. "Mate."
My breath caught in my throat. I stopped rocking. My heart started pounding so hard I thought it might break through my ribs. "What did you just say?"
"Mate," Gory repeated. There was something in her voice I'd never heard before. Something peaceful. "He's our mate, Maddie. The boy who saved us. Calix."
"No." The word came out sharp. "No, no, no. We can't, not after Jace, not after everything."
"It's different," Gory said. "The mate bond is real. What you had with Jace was nothing compared to this."
I hugged my knees tighter and started rocking again. My chest felt tight like someone was squeezing it. "I don't care if it's real. I don't care if it's the Moon Goddess herself telling me he's mine. I'm not doing this again."
"Maddie, you don't understand what this means."
"I understand perfectly," I said. My voice was getting louder. "I understand that I trusted Jace. I gave him everything. I thought he loved me, then I found him in bed with my best friend. They didn't even stop when they saw me, Gory. They just kept going like I was nothing."
Gory went quiet.
"I can't do that again," I whispered. Tears were streaming down my face now. "I can't trust someone like that. I can't give someone that much power over me. What if he hurts me too? What if this mate bond thing is just another way for someone to destroy me?"
"The mate bond is sacred," Gory said softly. "It's not like human relationships. It's deeper and permanent."
"That makes it worse!" I said. "That means I can't escape it. That means I'm stuck with him forever whether I want to be or not. What if he's like Jace? What if he betrays me? What if he dies like Mom and Dad?"
My voice broke on the last words. I buried my face in my knees. My whole body was shaking now. Everything hurt, my face hurt from the slap, my chest hurt from crying and my heart hurt from remembering.
"We have to stay away from him," I said when I could talk again. "Promise me, Gory. Promise me we'll stay away from him forever."
Gory didn't answer.
"Promise me!" I said louder. "I'm serious. I don't care what the mate bond says. I don't care if it's destiny or fate or whatever. I'm not going near him. I'm not falling for anyone ever again, i can't survive another betrayal. I can't lose anyone else."
"Gory, please," I begged. "I need you to promise me. You're the only one I have left, everyone else is gone or they turned on me. You're all I have. Please just promise me we'll stay away from him."
"I can't promise that," Gory said finally. Her voice was sad. "The mate bond is too strong. You'll be drawn to him whether you want to be or not, fighting it will only hurt worse."
"I don't care," I said. "I'll fight it. I'll ignore it. I'll do whatever it takes."
"Maddie..."
"No," I cut her off. "I'm done listening. I'm done trusting. I came here to hide, survive and get through school and figure out who killed Mom and Dad. That's it, i don't have room for anything else. I don't have room for him."
Gory went quiet again but I could feel her worry. It sat heavy in my chest like a stone. She thought I was making a mistake, she thought I should give him a chance but she didn't understand. She wasn't the one who had to watch her boyfriend cheat, she wasn't the one who lost everything in one night.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand. My cheek still throbbed, i touched it gently. Tomorrow it would probably be bruised. Everyone would see it, everyone would know that girl slapped me. That I just stood there and took it.
I should have fought back. The old me would have but the old me was dead. She died the night my parents did, the girl lying on this mattress was someone new. Someone scared and broken.
Someone who just found her mate and had to walk away from him.
I closed my eyes, tried to sleep but all I could see was his face, those eyes. The way he looked at me when he told that girl to leave. The way his voice sounded when he asked if I was okay.
My wolf was right about one thing, i would be drawn to him. Even now, lying here alone in the dark, I wanted to see him again, hear his voice. I wanted him to look at me the way he did before.
But wanting something and doing something were different. I wanted my parents back too, i wanted Jace to have been faithful. I wanted Lila to have been a real friend, it didn't change anything.
So I would stay away. I would ignore the pull, i would pretend I never heard Gory say that word.