Chapter 10: Here I go again

Traeger:

It has been several days since I left her. When the alarm resounded, a switch turned on in my brain, urging me to leave. I didn’t know what to say, so I ran. To my regret, I went back to the lagoon to find her, but she wasn’t there. I went back a few more times, but she never came back.

Every time I go back to the Institut, I feel resentment growing inside of me. Because if it weren’t for the interruption of the alarm, I’d have already been with her. Even after days of not seeing her, my body is still aroused. I’ve also been unable to sleep at night. All I can think about is her mouth and body. My frustration has risen to such a level that my fighting has become more aggressive. Every time I kick, punch, or shoot something, I imagine it is the Institute's researchers.

Arsenal and I are sparring when I land a hard shot to his sternum. He falls on the floor, clutching his chest and choking as the air constricts in his chest. When the researchers call a halt to our sparring, I wordlessly step out of the room. Grey catches up with me in the hallway with a look of concern on his face. “Traeger, what the hell is going on? You’ve been uncontrollable lately. What the hell were you thinking, fighting like that? You almost incapacitated Arsenal?” Uncaring, I shrug my shoulders and quicken my pace. “I’m fine Grey, go back to your room.” But Grey does not listen. Instead, he places his hand on my shoulder and blocks my way. “No, Traeger, you need to tell me what’s wrong. You’re my alpha, and whatever concerns you, concerns me. Not just that. The doctors are also taking notice. And we both know that this is never a good thing.” I let out a pent-up breath, wanting to relieve my burden. “Fine, I’ll tell you, but not here.” He nods his head and nudges his chin towards the exit doors. “Let’s go for a run.” I give him an imperceptible nod and lead him towards the exit.

Once, a good distance away, Grey turns to me with a quirked brow. “So what’s the problem, Traeger? Why have you been acting so strange lately?” Shaking my head, I walk towards a nearby tree and lean against it. “A few days ago, I went swimming in one of the nearby lagoons...” Grey gives me an exasperated frown, “And?” Taking a deep breath, I gaze off into the distance. “…and when I got there, it was occupied. There was an incredibly beautiful female swimming.” Grey’s head snaps up in shock, and excitement clear on his face. “A female? You saw a real female?” I nod my head in annoyance at his enthusiasm. “Yes. Her name is Jelena, and she’s staying in a house a few miles away from here. She’s…she’s beautiful. I didn’t mean to show myself to her, but I had to help her when a wolf nearly attacked her. We’ve met once more since then…”

I stop talking, recalling the meeting between Jelena and me. Especially our last meeting, where she straddled my waist and kissed me so passionately. Grey snaps his fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Traeger. What happened to the female?” Frustrated, I sift my fingers through my hair. “On the night of the drill… I snuck out to see her. She was alone, we touched and kissed… It was incredible. That is… until the alarm went off, calling me home. I left swiftly after that. For the past few days, I’ve gone back to the lagoon, but she hasn’t shown up. I don’t know what to do, Grey.”

Grey’s face contorts with awe as he leans close and whispers, “Wow, I can’t believe you’ve been sneaking around to meet a female.” I shuffle my feet in irritation. “I want to see her… No, I need to see her. It’s like this rabid need that eats at me every day. I can’t eat or sleep. My body feels like it’s splitting in half. All I can think about is her Grey.” Grey shrugs his shoulders. “Then go and see her. Just don’t forget to tell me about it. I would kill to be in your place right now.” My body relaxes at his words. It’s almost as if I needed someone to tell me that it was okay. After living in the Institute for so long, I’ve come to the realization that nothing is ever really my choice. But this. This is. I nod my head in agreement. “I’m going to tonight.” Grey nods his head in understanding. “Let me know if you need any help.” I give him a brief smile as he walks out of the door.

That night, I sneak out of the building, ready to find her. The need is almost stronger than the receptors in my brain. I don’t think even the receptors in my brain can force me to return to my prison. I remember the look of shock on her face as I walked away and feel remorse. I should have fought the command. I should have stayed.

My eyes glow as I run through the dark forest and jump over logs and vegetation with ease. Lycans have very strong night vision and speed. When I reach her house, I stop near the woods' edge and walk the parameter hoping to catch a glimpse of her. My senses become alert to the delicious scent of her arousal permeating the air. The intoxicating scent leads me straight to the second-floor balcony. As if she’s waiting for me, the doors are open in invitation. I know it’s her bedroom. As I move closer, the scent of her sweet, intoxicating body becomes stronger. I retract my claws, climbing the wall, and jump over the balcony.

The curtains are swaying in the wind as if inviting me in. Gazing around, I take a deep breath and make my way slowly to her bed and nearly stumble in shock at what I find. Jelena’s exquisite body is lying in the middle of the bed, completely naked. Her eyes are closed, and her hands are roaming her body wantonly. As if sensing my presence, her eyes snap open and focus on mine. A gasp escapes her lips as she gazes into my eyes, shoots up from the bed and reaches for her covers. Before she can cover her nakedness, I crawl over her body and straddle her waist. But she’s not cowed. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she leans back and gives me an angry scowl. “What the hell are you doing here, Traeger?” I don’t answer, too mesmerized by her scent. Angry, she places her hands on my shoulders and pushes me, but I’m too strong. Her anger turns to outrage when she realizes that I’m not moving. She begins to pummel my chest, trying to move from me. “GET THE HELL OF ME, YOU ASSHOLE!” Somehow her words allay my fears. I know that she doesn’t mean what she says.

Her eyes are heavy lidded as she realizes that she is naked under me. Drained from her struggles Jelena lays back on the bed. “Why are you doing this to me, Traeger?” She whispers. I pull back, maintaining eye contact. “I didn’t want to leave the other day. I wanted to stay. I went back to the lagoon, but you didn’t show.” Jelena looks down, then pushes at my chest gently. “Let me up, Traeger.” This time I pull back up on my haunches and give her some room. Jelena slides back onto the headboard until she’s in a sitting position. My eyes travel her body with desire, and my body stiffens when her chest rubs against mine beckoningly. Jelena’s eyes widen with desire at her subconscious response. Sliding her hair around her like a curtain, she pulls her knees up to her chest to cover herself. “Did you really think I’d go back after the way you walked out? I felt so stupid.” She bites out with a sneer. Looking away from me, she reaches for the cover and pulls it up to cover her chest, then kneels in front of me, holding the cover loosely over herself. “Why do you make me feel this way, Traeger? I barely know you.” I look into her beautiful emerald eyes and run my fingers caressingly across her face. “Do you know that you’re the first female I’ve ever met?”

Her eyes widen in shock. “What?” I nod my head, clenching my jaw. “Jelena, I grew up in an institute where I’ve been trained to fight. I’m a trained soldier. I have lived in the Institute for twenty-two years with my pack. We are prohibited from leaving the grounds at the risk of death. Even when we try to leave, we cannot because they implanted us with a transmitter that keeps us tethered to the grounds. When that alarm sounded… It was a call for us to come home. If we do not respond, they send a message through our transmitters. The message can cause a great deal of pain, leading to death.” A look of horror crosses her face at my words. Puffing out a breath, she places her hand behind my neck. “Oh my god, Traeger. Why are they doing this to you?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I place my hands on her waist and pull her into the shelter of my lap. Jelena’s lips soften, and her eyes haze as she wraps her arms around my neck and waits for an answer. Mesmerized by her beauty, I gaze at her lush and beautiful lips with need. “Jelena, I am not human. I am a Lycan. The Institute is set up to fight a supernatural war.”

Quirking a disbelieving brow, Jelena caresses her hands down my chest and carefully asks. “Are you serious? So you’re like a wolf or something?” I nod my head. “Yes. I am a loup-garou, a werewolf. I am the alpha of our pack.” She looks at me incredulously. “Show me. Show me what you are.” Ready to prove it, I release her from my lips, stand on the edge of her bed, take a deep breath, and close my eyes. My claws instantly retract, my fangs elongate, and my eyes glow. Jelena lets out a startled gasp as she gazes at my wolf form. Once I’ve begun my semi-transformation, I open my eyes and show her my claws and teeth.

At first, I think she’s going to run away. Instead, she releases the covers with a sigh and crawls sensually across the mattress. My mouth dries at the erotic sight. Completely naked, she sits back on her haunches, places her hands around my neck, and pulls me into her arms. Her eyes are heated, and her chest is rising and falling with desire. She’s a fantasy come to life. Placing my hands around her waist, I pull her closer, chart the contours of her body, caressing her firm backside. She bites her lips and moves her lips close to my fanged mouth. “I don’t know why I feel this way about you. This is crazy, but somehow knowing what you are has made me hotter.” Before she can say more, I pull her close and kiss her. Her body molds perfectly against mine as I lay her back on the bed and settle between her legs. Gasping with pleasure, she wraps her legs around my waist and grinds her hips against mine. My hands roam across her naked frame enjoying the silken feel of her skin beneath my fingers.

Sucking her tongue, I move my hand across her nipple and pinch it lightly. We are both moaning in cadence now. Our mouths fused together, and our tongues parrying pleasurably. We grip each other tightly as if we can’t get enough. Her hands claw at my back, which makes the animal in me feel ecstatic. Sucking on her bottom lip, I push up on my elbow and try to create some space between us. A mewling sound escapes her lips when I move my mouth away from hers and nip and suck her bottom lip. Giving her one final nip, I lean my forehead against hers and close my eyes.

“I don’t know why I feel this way about you either. I see you lying here with your beautiful body on display, and I don’t know what to do. All I know is that my body craves you and that I cannot stop thinking about you.” Jelena arches her back and rubs her nipples against my covered chest with another moan. “We’ll think about that later, Traeger. At this moment, I need you to kiss me and touch me. I crave you too.” She whispers in my ear. “I’ll teach you.”

My body heats at her words as I close my eyes, trying to maintain control, but it’s difficult to do when her tongue licks the shell of my ear and nips lightly on the lobe. “I want you to kiss me, Traeger, then I want your mouth on my nipples.” As if in a trance, I move to do as she asks.

I kiss her luscious lips and move my lips down her neck and chest. When I reach her nipples, I slide my tongue out and suckle them and swirl my tongue around the crown, making her groan in pleasure. “Oh please, Traeger, don’t stop.” I lick and nip her nipples for a few seconds. Sighing with pleasure, Jelena places her hand around my neck and pulls me closer to her chest. Jelena arches her back enticingly. “Oh, Traeger, that’s so good.” She whispers as she moves her hands across my shoulders and pushes me down. Looking up, I give her a confused frown. Smiling, Jelena opens her legs and gives me a clear view of the sweet spot between her thighs. Her hand moves down to her nether lips, opens them up, and rubs her swollen clit. “I want you to lick me here.” I look down at the dewy petals of her sex, inhaling her musky scent. Without another thought, I lick her clit and taste the sweet honey of her body. Jelena cries out at the contact and moans in delight. Seeing that she’s completely enjoying the pleasure I’m giving her, I do it again and again. Jelena thrashes around in ecstasy and arches her hips when I stick my tongue into her dewy hole and taste her sweet juices. Her hips undulate, and her cries heighten further until her body shudders with her release. Her breasts rise and fall as she tries to calm her breathing. Finally, she sits up, kisses my lips hungrily and whispers. “It’s my turn now.”