Chapter 60
JASON:
Clarissa just listened as I told her the story of August and Cleon, and the New Orhert that had been born. I told her of the guilt that tripped me whenever I came across Cleon, and that I was too scared to train the Orhert because its very movement reminded me of it’s mother and that I wanted to go back to when I was little and just lay cradled on my grandma’s thighs, and live without a worry in the world.
I felt the weight in my bones, dragging me into the deepest of deeps. I felt a need to be away from all the places where my name was known, yet I wanted to feel Clarissa’s receptive ears close to mine. I wanted her to listen, not to say anything but just to listen. I could still see the decaying flesh on the walls, and all the terrors of the past seemed to confine me to themselves. I tried to run, but how could I run from my own mind without facing it? How did I cleanse myself of guilt without soiling my hands with it’s stains? I needed clarity, I needed to know that I wasn’t just acting the part of an archetypal hypocrite.
“I am so confused, Clarissa, I cannot tell a curse from a miracle.”
I could not tell if my feelings were real, I could no longer recognize myself.
CLARISSA:
I think the most painful condition of living was seeing your loved one suffer, and being able to do nothing about it. It was odious, the most miserable state of living — waiting and waiting for them to come back to normal and back to you, but nothing ever moves until you move it.
I watched as Jason’s depression deepened, and my heart ached for him. Seeing him isolate himself and waste away before my eyes was unbearable. I knew I couldn’t stand idly by and watch him suffer. I had to do something before he harmed himself. Determination filled me, and I reached out to Nolle and Amber for help.
JASON:
Days blurred together, a never-ending cycle of despair and guilt. I shut myself away from the world, unable to face anyone. The nightmares consumed me, leaving me weak and emaciated. It felt like I was drowning, and I couldn’t find a way to resurface. Each time I slept it became more vivid, the deterioration of August, and her pain was the texture of my nightmares. I saw the Orhert feasting on her and a dead smile on her face as she embraced her inescapable death.
I had answered the part of me that chose to runaway, so I blocked everyone out, including Clarissa whose worry I could feel from miles away. My body weakened like wood infested by termites and I literally just dozed around the room, I was never really awake or sober. I so much wanted to be free of all the terror that came with simply being me.
AMBER:
Clarissa’s call for assistance was urgent and worrying. She explained the severity of Jason’s condition, and I couldn’t bear to see him in such pain. Nolle and I agreed to support her in helping him. We gathered ingredients and prepared a comforting meal, hoping to nourish his body and soul. I too had not fully recovered from the terror of August’s case, it was not something that you just forgot. I could imagine he felt to have to work with the Orhert that was the perpetrator of the pain.
NOLLE:
When Clarissa reached out to me about Jason’s deteriorating state, I knew we had to do something. We couldn’t let him suffer alone. Amber and I gathered supplies and cooked a meal, hoping that it would provide him with some solace. We understood that our presence and support were crucial in this moment.
CLARISSA:
We arrived at Jason’s door, carrying the tray of food we had prepared. I could see the toll his anguish had taken on him physically, and it broke my heart. With determined resolve, we convinced him to let us in. The smell of the warm meal filled the room, tempting his appetite.
JASON:
Reluctantly, I allowed them into my world of darkness. The sight of their caring faces and the enticing aroma of the food they brought with them stirred something within me. Clarissa’s gentle touch reminded me of the love I had experienced before my life was clouded by guilt and regret. Their words of encouragement started to seep through the cracks in my despair, and hope flickered within me.
AMBER:
Clarissa’s presence was like a guiding light in the room. She spoke softly, offering words of encouragement and reminding Jason that he wasn’t alone. Nolle and I chimed in, sharing our own stories of overcoming adversity. We hoped that by revealing our vulnerabilities, we could show Jason that there was a way through the darkness.
“You’re not a hypocrite Jason, I understand how you feel, if you would just let us help you.”
NOLLE:
We reminded Jason that healing was possible, and that he had a support system in place. The atmosphere shifted as we laughed and engaged in playful games, lifting the heaviness that had settled over him. We knew he needed time alone with Clarissa, so we made our exit, leaving them to find solace in each other’s presence.
CLARISSA:
As Amber and Nolle excused themselves, Jason and I locked eyes, understanding passing between us. The connection we had built over time intensified, and our mutual attraction became undeniable. We leaned in and shared a passionate kiss, the culmination of emotions that had been building between us.
JASON:
In that moment, as our lips met, a surge of electricity coursed through me. It was a spark of hope, a reminder that despite the pain, love and happiness were still within reach. Clarissa’s touch and the intensity of our connection reawakened something deep within my soul.
AMBER:
As Nolle and I closed the door behind us, we shared a knowing smile. We had witnessed the blossoming romance between Clarissa and Jason, and we were hopeful that their connection would bring them both the healing and happiness they deserved. With a renewed sense of purpose, we left them to their private moment, grateful to have played a small part in their journey towards healing.
NOLLE:
Leaving Jason and Clarissa alone, we knew we had done what we could to lift his spirits. Our hearts swelled with joy, witnessing their passionate embrace. As we walked away, hand in hand, a sense of fulfillment washed over us. We were grateful for the opportunity to support our friends and create a positive impact in their lives.