Chapter 57

I fall on the ground, my body slamming against the wooden floor. The ringing in my ears doesn't stop me from hearing the sound of lazy claps. I bring my hand to my aching hand, as I look at where the claps were coming from. Unsurprisingly, she was clapping her hands with a hint of content in her eyes.

"Now do it again," she instructed me.

"What? No!" My head pounded and now it was clear that my body does NOT want to shift.

"I wasn't asking for your opinion, girl," she replied, "get to it." She finished, feeding me orders like a brainless dog.

"I'm sorry but no. My body has made it very clear, I will not be doing that again, I would only be breaking myself more," I argue.

"That's exactly what you have to do," she explains. I look at her with a bewildered look in my eyes, pushing her to explain further, "your wolf is in a broken state, but one in which she's comfortable in, so your precious wolf is not healing that part of her because it takes her too much effort and feels as if she doesn't need it."

"So, you're asking me to break my own wolf to force her to heal?" I ask, beginning to understand where she's going.

"Yes, exactly," she agrees.

"And how do you know that my wolf won't just heal to the same point that she's in currently?"

She shrugged, "because she'll realise that while she's comfortable is not safe."

While I wasn't hundred percent sure that her answer was actually factual- heck, I didn't know if anything at all she was talking about was true. However, part of me felt like it was true. Arsen had made me too comfortable, I felt so safe with him that my wolf had given up on protecting me. There was no reason for her. I couldn't judge her, my wolf has suffered enough, but I- we needed that final push.

I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for what I was about to do, "so, I have to do it again?" I ask.

"Yes."

"And when should I stop with the breaking?" I wonder, realising at some point I would have to stop breaking her to allow her to heal. That's what I had to focus on, healing, not the hurting.

"You'll know," she answered, I fought with everything I had not to roll my eyes, "I'll tell you when to stop too."

*

By the time, I was making it back to the packhouse I felt horrible. I felt like puking and crying and sleeping, all at once. What was worst was that after pushing and trying to break my wolf, I hadn't done much progress. My body felt like I had gone beyond what we had talked about but she was sure that I hadn't.

"You have quite a strong wolf for being so weak," she commented, but I don't even know why she spoke up, because that only fueled my wolf to fight me back even more.

I reached the packhouse and I went directly up the stairs to our apartment. I went directly to our bedroom, not even checking for him. I needed the bed. I closed the door behind me. My legs struggled to get me to the bed, like I was walking on quicksand. I threw myself on the bed, but didn't have a time for myself to catch a breath before Arsen opened the door to the bedroom.

"Are you okay?" He asked, "I was making food in the kitchen-"

"I'm not hungry," I answered, making myself a ball.

"Aelin," he placed his hand on my forehead, "you're burning up."

I wasn't even looking at him, yet I could tell he was worried.

"It's okay," I answered drowsily, "it's my wolf breaking."

"What?" Arsen jumped, pulling me into his chest, but I didn't even have the strength to put my arms around him, "Aelin, what are you talking about? You're worrying me."

"The witch said I had to break my wolf for her to heal," I explained.

"But, she was already healing," Arsen argued.

"No," I tried to make him see, "she was too comfortable."

"No," Arsen's anger rose in his chest, "your wolf was healing, comfortably, but healing."

"Then why did she say I wasn't?" I asked genuinely confused.

"Aelin, how did she look?" He asked.

"I don't know, like black hair, yellow eyes and separated teeth, and slender body?" I described her as best as I can.

"That wasn't the half-witch, half-werewolf, Aelin," he explained.

"What does that mean, Arsen?" I ask as terror began settling in. Did I seriously break my wolf for nothing?

He took a deep breath, "that means we're fucked," he quickly answered. I knew he was already mind linking people to get that witch and whatever else he felt was right to do, but I was too worried about my own wolf. Why didn't I stop?

His attention turned back to me, "didn't you go with Lia?"

"Yes," I answered truthfully, I didn't want to throw her under the bus, but I preferred being truthful.

"And Lia didn't say a thing?" He asked.

"She didn't enter the house, she only walked me there," I explained. "She doesn't like witches."

"No one likes witches, Aelin," his blood boiled with ire. "Sorry," he calmed down, realising he was laying his anger on the wrong person.

"I broke my wolf, Arsen," I finally spoke out, coming to my senses, or whatever was left from them.

"We'll work it out," he petted my head.

"We were already working it out," I protested fighting the need to cry, but we just took such a step back.

"Exactly, so we'll do it again, and this time better," he answered.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted frightened by the turn of events.

"Do you trust me?" Arsen asked, I almost snorted as his question.

"We didn't regress that much!" I contend.

"Is that a yes?"

"Always," I answered confidently.

"Then you're sleeping with my wolf today," he concluded.

"What?"

"You heard me," he replied, and then placed me back onto the mattress and he quickly took off his pants. I was looking at him, enjoying as he stripped in front of me. "You should be whistling right now, you know?" He said, taking off his shirt, the only thing on his body, his black underwear.

"I'll whistle your wolf," I stated, and with that he shifted in front of my eyes.