Chapter 186: so stressed

Gasping in a deep breath of cold air, I tried to untangle the turmoil burning inside of me. Those emotions I locked away for the interaction were trying to claw their way out.

How dare Luke talk to me like that. As if he isn't the man who preys on the ballerinas and introduces them to Dax. I was nothing more than a dancer not until when he overheard me talking about money concerns after Grandpa falling sick.

He was a brilliant choreography but he was a terrible asshole. I knew he profited from the contracts with Viktor, but he didn't suffer like the dancers he coerced into the contracts did. Luke's inappropriate comments to me didn't start until after I took my first contract. His eyes had always wandered more than they should have during practice, and it seemed like he thought had a chance to have a one night with me.

I don't think Luke could fathom that my standards weren't suddenly in the gutter because I was desperate to help my grandpa. If he wasn't paying for my time, he would never get it.

Finally pulling up the hood of my coat, I hugged my coat tighter around me and hailed for a cab to take me to the hospital. Andrey might not like the thought that I wasn't calling Antonio for my rides after practice, but I needed this time to myself and go see my papa.

Thinking of Andrey Volkov, when I got in the back of the bright yellow cab, some of my emotions slipped free of the loose binds I had them in. A sharp twist hit me in the chest and I thumped my face against the cold glass, watching my breath fog the window as the driver pulled onto the wet streets.

The sidewalks were lined with colorful umbrellas and coats. People without cover from rain tried to run through the crowd and others continued walking as if they didn't have a care in the world. Lightning flashed in the deep grey sky followed by a boom of a thunder so loudly that I felt it through the car.

That conversation with Luke slapped me with that truth once again. I was in this contract because I needed money to help papa. Otherwise Andrey and I might have never crossed paths.

It was his money that landed me in his life, and I felt terrible for loving him now. Andrey deserved someone in his life that didn't have baggage like I did. Not someone who was with him for gain.

I didn't want to use him, and I hated that we met this way. If I could pay back the money, I would.

Luke was right that I was spoiled goods and a whore for rich men. If I told Andrey how I felt, I would only wind up hating myself for tainting a man as rich and powerful like him.

What could love ever do for a man like Andrey when he has the world at his fingertips?!

ANDREY VOLKOV’S POV

It pissed me off that I had to work through Saturday. Knowing Elena was at my house made it worse. I needed to leave and get back to her as quick as possible.

The meeting with senior managers that was reported up to me was so stressed as super important, and yet everything they discussed through out the day should have been an email. Their concerns were just so pantry and small compared to my desire to get back to the dancer.

Elena had been so upset last night and I hated leaving her alone now. Something was obviously wrong after her practice yesterday, but she was pretending to be fine. I didn't want her to lie to me, but I remembered that she didn't owe me any answers. No matter how badly I wanted to know everything in her life, she was so secretive.

And my instincts, those instincts that  I held in the human world were furious that something had hurt her. Even in my skin, my pulse felt wrong, too hot, too violent, like my other nature pressed just beneath the surface, pacing and snarling. It always felt like that when Elena was distressed. Like a storm trapped in bone.

As soon as the day was over, I rushed out of the office like a Bat Out of Hell. Antonio could tell that there was so much on my mind as he drove back to the human home, and the ride was mostly silent save for the low podcast on the radio.

Outside the clouds were thin and grey. The rain had let up for now, but it would have been nice to see some sunshine. Rain now poured down everyday but I didn't care. For me, being with Elena was enough. I didn't care how long it rained or how dark it was as long I could get home and find Elena smiling.

And if she wasn't smiling, I would make her.

A gnawing ache clawed at me the whole way home, an instinctive protectiveness, deeper than logic and too primal to ignore. My family would call it the Alpha in my blood, the part of me that was born to guard what was mine. But Elena didn’t know anything about that world, and I refused to drag her into it. Not until I could protect her from it.

"I'm home", I called from the foyer while tossing my coat haphazardly in the closet. No sound greeted me and I quickly investigated the kitchen. The lights were off, nothing more than the weak light outside lighting up the kitchen and dining room.

I was sure that she was staying home, so I went upstairs in search of her. The living room was empty and concern crept into the back of my mind. My hearing sharpened out of instinct, picking up the faintest shift in air from the floor above, something only my kind would notice. Good. She was here.

Up another set of stairs, I saw the door to my bedroom cracked open, although it was pitch dark within.

Silently pushing the door open, I stepped into my bedroom. With the curtains drawn, it was pitch dark, but I could make out the shape of Elena laying in the bed. My pillow was also squished tightly against her face.

The picture of her laying in my bed with my pillow hugged in her arms, did things to my heart. For a moment, everything inside me stilled, like the storm had paused, just long enough to breathe her in. My wolf side buried and unseen in this civilized world went completely silent in reverence.

I took a quiet, deep breath and moved to the edge of the bed. There was a slight crease in her forehead and a frown pulled at the corner of her sweet lips.

I wanted to ease whatever was weighing her down, even in her dreams.

When I left for work this morning, Elena was still asleep in my bed. But looking over at her outfit and hair, it was clear she had gone out today and must have fallen asleep when she got back.

She was sleeping so soundly, my brown pillow in her arms and cuddled up on my usual side of the bed.