Chapter 176: She is gone

The furthest from okay I had been since my grandma died and my papa fell sick. The furthest since I had to sell their house to pay the medical bills. And the furthest since I had to take contracts and had my first meeting with an older man who pawed at me like a starving man.

But at the end of the day it didn't really matter, if I was okay or not. I went back into the shell of my life, dropping my emotions into the void and locked away the key.

No amount of wishing and hoping would make Andrey love me back or show up at my door like a hero in a romance movie. And no amount of screaming and praying would bring my grandfather back from the dead.

My phone buzzed again and the name that sent my heart soaring flashed across the screen. I let it ring until it went to voicemail again. No matter how jumbled my sore feelings were, this was the time I needed to focus.

I had a funeral to plan after all.

What I didn’t know was that miles away, the man whose name I refused to answer was fighting demons no human could imagine.

The kind that lived under the skin, clawing for release each time the moon shifted the air.

But I didn’t know that, and I wouldn’t. I believed he was nothing more than a man I shouldn’t have fallen for.

ANDREY VOLKOV'S POV.

If someone asked me to describe my home, my thoughts would only go to Elena.

The golden color of her hair, the angelic sound of her voice, the taste of her lips and how soft her skin is under my palms. Even if it was just a place, they wanted me to describe, she was my home.

I wanted her in every way that agonized me to the bone. Like a primal wild animal, I wanted her in all the untamed ways one could imagine. But then I wanted her so tenderly, in a way that was pure and chaste where just the colors of her eyes could send me to my knees.

My Wolf paced under my skin whenever she was near, unsettled and restless without her scent in the air. Deep in my chest, I felt her absence like an ache within my soul. These feelings were unfamiliar to me and it was nothing short of torture to want her and she was..... She was gone.

Elena wasn't even here, yet she was haunting me. Everywhere I looked in the suddenly cold confines of my home, there were traces of her. I couldn't turn a corner without seeing anything that made me think of her or worry about her and her current wellbeing.

There was a dishtowel next to the sink in the kitchen that I know she left there. I picked it up, wishing it was her hand in mine instead.

When I looked in the dining room, I saw the vase of flowers on the dining room I got her a while ago. The flowers were wilting and a few petals aimlessly inhabited the center of the table..

I couldn't help but remember the nights we ate dinner together here and the smile on her face lighting up the room.

The blanket she liked to curl up with was sprawled across the couch in the living room. Picking it up, I felt the coldness in the fabric since now it has been days since she was here.

My bed was empty, the pillow she used to sleep with still smelled her, that delicious floral scent that followed her, but it was fading. At night when I laid down, I held the pillow to my face and inhaled the last traces of her scent.

My senses cursed and heightened beyond human limits tormented me with the truth.

Her scent was disappearing.

Her presence was slipping further away from the territory I guarded.

And my Wolf hated it.

She had clothes and minor items all over the place. A load of laundry left behind in the dryer, random shirts in my closet. Her robe and all the things I bought her were all left in the guest room.

I didn't stop calling her, texting her or leaving her voicemails. She was avoiding me and I didn't know why. It pained me to think that I had done something wrong that maybe upset her. Yet when I thought of that phonecall, I just couldn't imagine what had happened. Even if it wasn't because of me, something was keeping her away.

All I wanted to know was that she was alright.

Was she eating enough?!

Was she sleeping enough?!

Was she safe?!

Was another danger, human or otherwise close to her without my knowledge?

The instinct to protect her pulsed inside me like a heartbeat.

Would she come back?

Everything in my life felt pointless now without her. Pack duties was aimless. Anything that interested me before was meaningless. My money was worthless.

Elena Martinez was who I wanted and if I didn't have her, then I had nothing. I passionately desired to have her with me again. But what could I do to bring her back if she was ignoring my attempts to reach her out?!

It's been four days without her. The despair clawing a hole in my chest was causing me to become a shell of man I wasn't before. I haven't gone to work. I have barely gotten out of the bed, and I didn't recall the last proper meal I had.

Even my pack stayed away, sensing my instability.  An Alpha with a wounded heart was a dangerous thing.

It was no wonder how she left such a mark on me. Elena was glorious. The brightest star in the night sky that I could have devoted my life to. I would willingly go blind just to see her light one more time.

Halfway through Tuesday, I laid in bed staring out of the window with no purpose. The sun outside was blazing and the sky was blazingly clear when the weather forecasted rain by the end of the day. When I heard someone incessantly ringing my doorbell, it interrupted my pointless thoughts about weather.

My heart lurched through my chest and I flung myself from the bed. The thought that she maybe back to me pushed me into action as I propelled myself down the stairs.

Jerking the door so hard, I almost pulled it from it's hinges. However I instantly deflated like a balloon when I saw my aunt standing on the stoop to my front door. Her eyes took in my disheveled face, and a deep frown pulled her features down as she looked at me with sorrow.

"She is still gone?", Mira asked.

I didn't respond to her and at that she walked past me to the kitchen where she began preparing everything that was disorganized.

Mira’s nose twitched subtly, a habit she had never shaken, even among humans.

She smelled the absence of Elena too.

She smelled the chaos in me.