Chapter 41: Chapter Fourty-One

"Excuse me?" I say half in a breathless whisper. I know what he said but I still can't register it in my mind. I can't believe this is even happening. This isn't right. But somehow, I still want this. No. Don't give in. This isn't right and he has been out of order. For the first time ever, I realise I'm experiencing that feeling, that odd feeling of...utter confusion mixed with blinded lust. God, I hate this.

"You heard me. Do I really need to spell it out?" He whispers and I feel his hands gliding up my legs, hitching the rim of my skirt up. This isn't like Ian at all. He never makes moves like this. Apart from in my dream. Although, that is all it was... a dream. Breaking my thoughts quickly, I push him away, my hands palmed flat on his chest. "NO!"

Ian looks at me with complete shook. My heart wants to feel sorry for him, coax him with love but now is not the time to pretend nothing has happened. I need to be stronger. I need to say no to him.

"You cannot go around fucking some young blondes and then come in here and start trying to fuck ME! What you did was wrong!"

"A-Alice..." He begins but I interrupt him, holding my hand up to him, before he can even form his words together.

"I said NO! You don't get to do this ok! You said you would help me! And you've ignored me since this morning! You've barely said a single fucking word to me and then you don't even come and teach me! You failed me like all the other teachers have! Fuck off and get out of my life!" I scream and leave the toilets, my eyes brimming with tears. I want to look back, see if he's as hurt as I am but I force myself not to. If I look back it will make me out to be the guilty party and I can't have that. I need to be the strong one here. I need to move or and teach myself this time. I need to prove to him that I don't need him.

He has been playing around with my emotions the day I set foot in his class. I need to get away, leave his home and go elsewhere. I'm blinded with nothing but him. His instant betrayal is burning me up and I still have so many questions to ask him, but his way of trying to take advantage burns me up and my heart is on the verge of breaking. No. I'm not doing this anymore. He was wrong...

Dylan. I think. I need to find Dylan.

To my surprise I spot Dylan standing out our English classroom, and it only just occurs to me that he must have been waiting for me. "Dylan?" I say in a questionable tone.

"O-oh, hey." He responds with a lack of enthusiasm. A part of me feels guilty for even trying to talk to him. I don't have much of a right to approach him after the way I always treat him. Guilt begins to consume me despite the fact it wouldn't usually. Maybe Ian is right. Maybe I really have been changing.

"I'm sorry that I keep treating you like shit...I know I'm not very good to you." I admit and a lump in my throat begins to form. Fuck. No. Do not cry. You never cry, Alice. Snap out of it.

"It's ok," He shrugs. "I don't let it get to me as much as you think. Besides...you're my...well best friend." His solemn look turns into a slight smile and I feel the lump in my throat slowly fading away. I feel somewhat relieved to hear this.

"Do you want to go out after school today?" I ask, trying to sound subtle but really inside I am desperate as hell to escape these walls of doom. His eyebrow cocks up in what looks like amusement and I caught help but smirk in response. "After school!?" He begins, chuckling to himself. "Let's just go out now. Fuck it."

"What...you mean skip classes?"

He shrugs and tucks his textbook into his school bag. "Sure. What's stopping us?" He says coolly and this new attitude of his strikes me as odd.

"Well...nothing I spose." I say, fiddling with my fingers. Shit. When did I become so timid? He looks at me strangely as if he has noticed this change in me also. "You ok?" He asks.

"Y-yeah...I just don't understand when you became such as rebel."

He smirks at me as if my words tickled me. "Surprisingly, I've grown tired of everything recently. I think there's a wine and beer with our names on it. Don't you agree?"

With this, I nod and smile brightly. I don't know exactly why Dylan is suddenly acting so cool about skipping classes without his usual anxious characteristic popping up, but it's nice to actually feel relaxed around him for a change. Although, a part of me tells me I should be feeling worried about him or perhaps FOR him.

We leave the school and head to a nearby pub of the high street called "The White Swan". I vaguely remembered coming to this Pub when I was practically a toddler. I remember how my alcoholic Father would be busy getting drunk in one corner whilst my Mother was most probably shagging some other bloke.

When we reach the bar, I notice the landlady is eyeing me up and down, like a lion waiting to pounce. Dylan doesn't notice it and goes over to a man who is wearing a black cap, drinking alone. Dylan whispers something in his ear and then leads me over to a seating area.

"Who was that?" I ask.

"That's my older cousin. We're underage so he's gonna buy us the drinks..." He winks.

As we sit and wait subtly, trying to mingle in, I notice his so-called cousin is served with a glass of my favourite white wine and a small beer for Dylan. When the young man turns to face us with drinks in hands, I realise.... I know him.

When he sits down, drinks in hands, my stomach begins to churn rapidly and I'm sure I am bound to faint. Dylan must seem to notice my strange behaviour as I feel his elbow nudge my arm, prompting some kind of reaction.

"Alice, don't be weird."

"I'm not," I swallow, taking my drink from the familiar looking man. His eyes clock mine and I try not to hold the eye contact for too long.

"Alice..." he says.

Dylan looks between us both, clearly filled with confusion. "You know each other?"

"Yes." I answer. "Hi, Craig..." I finally say.

Craig smiles a wicked type of smile and takes a sip of his beer. When I sip my glass of wine, I feel Dylan's eyes digging into me and for a moment I fear he might be annoyed. I do hope not. I was beginning to feel relieved about my mended friendship with him despite my wrongdoings.

"How do you know each other?" Dylan says and I hear Craig chuckle at the question.

"Alice has been staying with my brother."

"Y-your brother? What is he like some age as us?" Dylan asks and I watch his expression as he looks between the pair of us. I awkwardly clench at my glass of wine, hoping to mould into it somehow.

"Nah," Craig says and wipes his dirty looking palm across his forehead. "My brother is thirty odd."

"I'm sorry, what!?" Dylan spits out in a more aggressive tone, looking over to me with wide eyes.

Craig swallows more of his beer and I shoot him over a look of annoyance. Fuck sake, no one was supposed to know about my new living arrangements. Fuck knows what Dylan is going to say if Craig tells him it's Mr Dubens.

I quickly shoot Craig a look of clear annoyance and he decides to not say the next thing he was planning on saying, his mouth briefly opening and closing again. I take in an anxious brief and lock eyes with Dylan.

"It's just for a week or so. I've been living there for about 2 weeks so far."

Dylan turns towards me, his jaw tense. "Why... I mean... what are you doing staying with a thirty-year-old?"

"Dylan it's a long story."

"Well, we've got plenty of time." He shoots back, making my stomach twist with anxiety.

I swallow briefly, trying to avoid eye contact with Craig. "I have been unable to keep the roof over my head, so I need a place to stay."

"You could have asked me!? I'm supposed to be your best mate are to!? And you choose to stay with some thirty-year-old !?" He exclaims, waving his hands in the air.

"He's not just some thirty-year-old, he's my brother." Craig piped up and I can sense the level of confrontation that is about to rise. I shake off my next thought and stand up from the table. "I'm going. If you want to come, then please follow me out so I can explain everything, but please can we not do this here in a pub full of people." I say in a stern tone, looking down at Dylan who he is glancing over at Craig with a neutral expression.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow..." Dylan says, not breaking eye contact with Craig. "I can't talk to you right now. You never seem to make sense Alice and I cannot be done with the lies."

I exhale and nod, grabbing my jacket from the seat "Fair enough." I walk out, leaving them both sat alone at the table.

Once I reach the outside air, filling my lungs with the cold and bitter air, I feel a hand clasp at my shoulder. I turn around to see Ian standing in front of me. Shit.