Chapter Twenty-Six

I step out of Mrs Burnette's office and I can't believe the conversation we have just had. Why would she even do this to me? How COULD she do this to me? I may have issues, but I really don't understand what I have done to deserve that!

I walk quickly down the school corridor, my head down and my arms crossed. It's only until now I wish I had my hoodie with me. Unfortunately, Ian made sure he had confiscated it. Instead, my hair covers my face as my eyes meet the floor. I feel so vulnerable, so exposed without it. I'm really tempted to hurry over to Ian's classroom and beg him to give it to me, just for today. However, I don't want to look weak and act as if I need him, because I don't!

The school bell rings, and everyone begins to pile out of their classroom doors. Oh shit! What do I do? I carry on working, carry on looking at the floor. One foot in front of the other, again and again. Just hide me, someone hide me. I hate feeling so exposed. I glance down at my arms and my scars are completely visible but everyone just walks passed me, they don't seem to notice. A group of boys who hurry out of their classroom don't even give me a second glance. Wow. As I pass I hear a whistle and instantly my head snaps over my right shoulder. Was that directed at me? When I look, I see a boy looking me up and down. His hair is a intense black with a dyed red streak running through it. His eyes...their almost scary, a pure black. His skin is so pale, I even wonder if he's dead.

"Sexy...!" He clicks his tongue, his eyes continuing to trail down the back of my legs. No one has ever given me that sort of comment before. I purse my lips and turn away.

When I'm through the next door and turned the next corner, I'm now in the Science block. It's jam packed and a bunch of girls stand outside the Science office. Their giggling and screeching so loudly. I pass them in quick motion. My first lesson is unfortunately Science. I've got Miss Enver and she's totally off her head! She spends the majority of the lesson calling us all 'Hooligans'. If you ask me, I think she's the only 'Hooligan' in this school.

I walk up to the classroom door. Miss Enver is standing in the doorway with a stern face, her eyes look strained and very stressed. Nothing new there, then. "Alice, your late!" She whines loudly like a seven-year old who isn't getting her own way. Her silky short, black hair just about tucks under her chin, making her facial features stand out and seem incredibly sharp. Her brown eyes are wide as if she's just seen a ghost. Again, nothing new.

Her hands are positioned on her hips and I notice the long black skirt she is wearing. Miss Enver is the type of woman who tries her best to look like a sexy secretary. Her black skirt is incredibly short and her white blouse his transparent, making her black lacy bra visible. I avert my gaze and walk into the classroom. Miss Enver stays in the doorway as she waits for the rest of the class to come in. Only two boys from the class are outside in the corridor chatting and Miss begins to shout frantically at them. "Boys!"

"Dennis! Luke! Get in, NOW!" She demands. I finally reach my seat on the third row. I sit next to my Science partner, Sydney Brown. When I pull my chair out and sit down, she passes me a cocky look and raises her eyebrows. "Miss has been going mad." She whispers.

"Why? What's happened?"

"Matthew started on her. Told her to fuck off. She is not a happy bunny." She smirks with amusement. I laugh and glance at the back row where Matthew Donnelly usually sits. "Did he get sent out?"

"Yup. She went mental. She's been shouting so much. I thought I was about to go deaf at one point!" She exclaims dramatically and rubs at her left ear. I roll my eyes.

BANG!!!!

I flinch at the slam of the classroom door. Miss Enver marches angrily over to her desk, her black high heels clopping loudly against the floor. I cringe and Sydney smirks at my expression. I amuse her so much it's unbelievable. Our friendship is very weird. When I first met Sydney, I couldn't stand her and I'm sure she wasn't all keen on me, but we got to know one another and now we're Science partners. Except, I'm convinced we only use each other because the two bitchy girls at the back of the class don't like us and also because neither of us can stand Miss Enver, so that's one thing we both agree on.

"Ok, everyone! Today I'm focusing on our controlled assessment. The one we've been doing."

"Oh, jolly ho..." Sydney quietly mutters and I smirk, my hand covering my mouth. Dylan is sitting at the front row and I catch him glance over his shoulder. Our eyes meet but it's as if he looks straight through me. Then, I realise he's not looking at me at all as I hear the girls giggling on the back row. I look over my shoulder and Caitlin is running her fingers through her hair, giggling ever so often. She batter her black eyelashes which are clogged with mascara. I'm surprised it hasn't stuck her eyelids together. My inner self laughs at just the thought of it. Oh, I wish! When I turn back towards the front, Dylan's eyes are on me. He's definitely looking at me this time. I can feel it. I can feel the confrontation, the friction between the two of us.

"Dylan!" Miss shouts and he jumps. I purse my lips to suppress my laughter, even though we've argued, he still makes me laugh with his funny ways. Miss always makes him jump when he's not paying attention, always catches him at the wrong time. I find it so funny. Sydney would have heard about our argument as nearly the whole year is talking about it. Sydney is one of the biggest gossipers I know, so I know for sure she'll have knowledge about mien and Dylan's fall out.

"Yes, Miss?"

"What do we do during the experiments!?"

"Err..."

"The safety points!? Come on, Dylan! The whole class went through this!" She says loudly, completely exasperated. Dylan rubs the back of his head. Scott who is sitting next to him chuckles lowly and places his index finger on his bottom lip. As if in expectants, Scott waits for his answer, silently taking the right piss out of Miss's overly dramatic attitude. Scott Barlow is the clown of the class; he never fails to make us all laugh. Me included. However, most of the time I would just clarify him as really, really stupid. Dumb, mostly as he couldn't answer Miss's question himself, so I don't see what right he has to take the piss out of Dylan.

"Yeah. Come on, Dylan!" Shouts Alfie from the row behind me and Sydney. He's sitting back in his chair with his arm around his girlfriend, Amber Wood.

"Goggles?" Dylan finally says in a hesitant voice. Everyone groans in annoyance and Miss taps the white board with her black marker. The written word 'Goggles' is already written on the white board. "We've already had that one." She says in a disappointed voice. If you ask me, I would have just told her to piss of but Dylan isn't like that. He wouldn't dare back chat a teacher, he's too goody two shoes.

"Have you actually been paying attention at all, Dylan?" Miss questions as she crosses her arms over her chest, and I can't help but groan. Alfie suddenly yells out an answer, "Always stand up when doing the experiment!"

"Good! Well done, Alfie!" Miss grins and turns to write it on the whiteboard. Dylan steals one last glance at me before turning away. I know he's still angry, but his expression says something completely different. Sydney shoves me hard by the elbow and I blink. "What?"

"Look." She points towards Billy Barne who sits on the row in front of us. He's sitting there doing impressions of Miss, but I don't find it funny, however, I am glad someone's got the bottle to do the dirty work and take the piss out of her. Miss's eyes widen as she catches him, and he laughs loudly. His two mates, Kyle and Bailey bang the table in uncontrollable laughter. "Oh my god, man!" Kyle gasps for air as Bailey waves his hands dramatically, trying to catch his breath from such hard laughter.

"OUT!" Miss shouts, his index finger pointed towards the classroom door. "Get out! You-you..."

"I didn't do anything!" Billy grins.

"Yes you did, I saw you!"

"It-it was Bailey!"

Miss grits her teeth and throws the pen on her desk. "Stop accusing your friend, GET OUT!"

"Oh, my days! It wasn't even me!" He moans as he drags himself up from his seat. "Out! Out!" She demands. "Jesus, Miss! I'm going! Take a chill pill!" He shouts as he starts walking towards the door. Me and Sydney quietly laugh under our breaths, our eyes occasionally meeting. Oh, this is entertaining. "You need to take a pill! Now get out of my class, you idiot!"

"Don't call me an idiot! What are you?" Billy puckers his lips and turns towards her.

"Idiot! Idiot! You're an idiot!"

"You're an idiot..." He sings as he turns away to walk out of the classroom and my and Sydney burst out in laughter. "Oh my god!" Sydney gasps.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Miss yells and follows him out of the classroom. "I do not come to work to be called an idiot!"

"I don't come to school to be taught by an inexperience teacher, but there you go." I mutter under my breath and Sydney laughs even harder. I smile at how amused she is.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. My second period was Textiles where I had Miss Taylor teaching me. Miss Taylor is really nice and has a son who is at university. She seems so calm and reserved. A teacher who is firm but fair. I admire her for it. I would love to be in a good position, going to university and being so successful like how her son must be. My issues, my behaviour just get in the way of all of that. All of those dreams...

When it's break, all I can think about is him. Mr Dubens. I sit with Natasha for lunch, things seem cool between us now, but I do question it. I don't want to sit with her, thinking she's still upset with me. I can't help it; I just feel so out of control sometimes. "So..." I begin, trying to break the awkward silence between us. Normally, Natasha is very chatty but today, it's like she's blanking me out. However, when I do finally speak her eyes look up to meet mine. She waits. So, do I.

"Yeah?" She says in a hushed voice. I purse my lips and twiddle my folk around my dinner plate. "Do think Dylan will ever forgive me?"

"I thought you didn't care." Natasha mocks.

"I do. Honestly, I just...oh...I don't know. I don't know anymore."

"He'll come round." She says softly and presents me a reassuring smile. I sigh heavily, "I feel awful. I shouldn't have used him like that."

"I do admit, it was wrong. But..." She pauses, looking down at her lunch which is only half eaten. "...at the end of the day, you have been best friends for such a long time. I know he wants to be your friend, deep down. He just won't give in because he's stubborn."

"Like me." I smile. Natasha laughs loudly, "Like you! That's why you two clash! You're too alike."

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

"We should go, the bells gonna go soon." She states and makes a move to stand up from the table. I copy her movements and follow her over to the bin, tipping my food inside.

Low and behold, I have English last. I can't wait to see him, to see his dark, brown hair. His dark brown eyes and his pale skin. The stern look of concentration which he always holds upon his face. It's enough to turn me on. I can imagine him laying me along his desk, his mouth pressed against mine, hard. Oh my god...My legs press together at the thought. Jesus.

"We're here!" Natasha sings, her arm linked in mine. I hate it when girls link their arms, I find it so...clingy. Urgh. I pull my arm out from her grasp and she gives me an understanding looks. Natasha can turn a bit clingy to her friends at times and she knows how much I hate the whole arm linking business. It's just so petty! I hate it. When someone does that to me, I feel owned by them. Although, I wouldn't mind feeling Ian's arms around me, I wouldn't mind if I was owned by him!

When we reach the classroom door, Ian is leaning against it, greeting everyone students who walks in. One by one. One by one...

Then when our eyes meet my legs literally go numb. Oh god. I feel my skin light up in flames as his eyes explore my body. He's never seen me arrive to school without my hoodie. Nor my blazer. I HATE the school blazer, it's so trampy and humid. It's enough to kill anyone of total dullness. He instantly smiles and extends his arms towards the classroom door. "Come in, girls." Natasha grins and pulls me in. As I let Natasha yank me in, I catch a whiff of Ian's after shave. Jesus, it's so good. I'd fucking bave in that scent if I could!

We all hurriedly make it to our seats and as usual I sit myself on my own. Ian shuts the door in a swiftly movement, his arms working...oh...so effectively. He runs his fingers through his think locks, his face stern. Everyone gossips and chats as usual, the girls looking him up and down as they do. Sluts. He's mine.

"Ok, umm...Good morning Year 11. I hope we've been revising." He says in a warningly voice. He knows full well I haven’t revised but he'll let me off. "I'm going to ask you all to rewrite the poem you all had time to write and write it properly. I will grade you on it, so make sure you do your very best."

Oh, I will...I quietly think to myself. He turns away from the class and begins to write the date and the learning objective for this lesson. To complete poems and show understanding of emotional language in writing.

"Err! What's that on your arm!?" I hear a loud voice shout in disgust. When I look to my left, Olivia is sitting across the room with her group of girlfriends, scowling her bitchy face at me. "Errr, it's yank! What is that!" Ian turns and looks at me, I close my eyes and look down at my lap, knotting my fingers together. "They’re my scars." I whisper.

"What!? Sorry, but I can't hear you from all the way over there, sweetie!!" Olivia chimes and I grit my teeth in anger. She's just trying to get me back for earlier. Keep your cool, Alice. Keep your cool.

"Enough, Olivia!"

"What? I'm just saying the truth. I mean...as they all say, honesty is the best policy!"

"That's it. Get out!" He says loudly, pointing towards the classroom door. Olivia glances to the door and scoffs. Without hesitation she gets up, kicking her seat back and stomps out. "I'll deal with you later, slag." She addresses me before exiting the room. Once she's out everyone stares over at me and sniggers. I feel a tear trail down my cheek, but I quickly wipe it away. Pull yourself together, Alice! When I look up, Ian is looking at me deeply, running his fingers through his hair. He sighs and turns back towards the whiteboard.

"Right, anyway everyone!" He says in a cheerful voice.

*How can I concentrate when I know it's him?

Whenever our eyes meet, it makes the hairs stand up on my skin.

The way he moves, how he looks.

I wish he knew how much I think about him,

His hands on me, running up my thighs,

like the loose knots of tight ties.

However, nothing will become of it...

It's just a fase and I'm sure he doesn't feel the same way,

the butterflies in the stomach,

the electrifying feeling when our skin makes contact.

It's like my love is competing in combat.

I can't bare it...

Not when there's so many differences, so many walls standing in our way.

It's like looking for something precious in a stack of haye.

It just won't happen.

There's no future, whatsoever.

Not when first love is the one love that can't be possible.

The fate of it isn't even causable, just want.

But know one thing...*

"Ok, class! Pens down!" I look up at the clock, it's nearly five minutes past three. Home time in about two minutes. I haven't even finished the poem!

"Alice?" I feel his breath on my hair, just above my head. I look up and I'm startled by how much little distance there is between his face and mine. Our noses are nearly touching. Skin inches away from skin. Oh god... "Alice?" He repeats, tilting his head. I suddenly notice everyone is packing away, getting ready the bell to go home. Their all stacking their poems on his desk and I quickly hide me behind me arm. Unfortunately, Ian notices and swiftly takes it out from under my arm.

"You wrote a lot." He whispers in a surprised note, his eyebrows raised. I reach up to take it out of his hand, but he only raises it higher, away from my reach. "No, please don't." I speak. He looks down at me with confusion. "Why? I need to mark it."

"I... Um...can I write it again?"

"No."

"Why not!?" I exclaim. He bends down to my height and looks into my eyes, "Because I want to know what's going on in that head of yours. And from where I was looking, you seemed to be thinking of a lot. I want to know how much of it went on this damn paper." He whips the paper to his side and walks round his desk, placing It at the top of the stack. I huff and bury my face in my hands. When I look back up, he has suddenly changed his mind and laid it on top of his computer keyboard. What? When I look up at him, he's staring at my intently. I avert my gaze, feeling my skin burn. Oh god...he's going to read it. He's going to read it!

Not only that, but I have to go home with him and deal with the confrontation. God. Oh, god, oh god, oh god! Amongst all my deep, worried thoughts, I'm instantly jumped back into reality by the sound of the bell. I flinch and immediately stand up from my desk. I feel chills work their way up my arms, it's just not the same without my hoodie. However, for some reason I enjoy the sensational feeling of cool air against my skin for once. I feel free but at the same time so awfully exposed. God, I hate these scars. Everyone piles out of the classroom door and I make my way up to Ian's desk. He's looking at me very closely, like he's looking for something. "Are you ok?" He asks hesitantly. "What?"

"About Olivia." He says lowly, looking towards the classroom door. He knows she is still outside, waiting for him to speak to her about her behaviour. "Oh, her. It's alright. I'm used to it."

"The scars..." He gestures his forehead to my exposed arm and a grin spreads across his face. "They really are beautiful." I feel myself burning up and I hug myself, my hands trying to hide them. Ian shakes his head, "Don't do that. I hate it when you do that." He murmurs. I open my mouth to say something but decide against it. He sighs and rubs his forehead, "Wait here. Pretend I've kept you behind to re-do your work. I just got to go talk to Olivia."

"Ok. Can I have some lined paper?" I ask. I might as well make it look obvious. He looks down at his desk and takes a piece of paper quickly and passes it to me. "There you go, gorgeous." What?

Gorgeous...

I look at him completely gob smacked. Woah. He winks before walking away towards the classroom door. I turn away and gulp. I feel my legs shaking. I want him, god I want him. I really need to stop this fantasy in my head. As I sit back in my seat and pretend to do work, I hear the faint conversation between Ian and Olivia. "Olivia, if I hear you treating another one of your classmates like that again, I will have to remove you from my class."

"That's a shame. It's not me who you need getting rid of. It's that scarred up rat in there!"

"Oi, pack it in! Right now, young lady. Do you want to go to the head of year, and I will make you explain your problems with Miss Copper? In detail. In deep detail and I don't care who’s in the firing line with your group for friends. I think you've got a little more to do in your life than bully others, don't you reckon?" After that, I don't hear Olivia's reply. Instead, I just heard the sound of the door hitting the wall. Hard. When I look, Olivia is grabbing her bag from the floor, kicking the chair across the room in utter anger. Good, feel angry. Feel what I have to feel every day. What a complete bitch.

As she leaves, Ian comes back in. His face is flushed red, red with anger? Oh god.

"Com’on. we're going." He says lowly and takes the paper out of my hands. "I need to take you home with me, and I need to do that right now."

"What? Why? I thought we had to stay for a bit?"

"Paperwork can wait till Monday." He shrugs and bends down to grab his briefcase. "But...you're-" Suddenly his hand is against my lips, his breath against my forehead. "Shh." When he pulls away, he stares deeply in my eyes. It's like I could drown myself in them. God, those eyes. He breathes and brings his lips to my ear, "I'm going to take you home with me and then I'm going to lay you on that bed of yours and I'm going to kiss every single inch of your body."

I gasp. Oh...