Chapter 91
RYDEN
“Wanna take a break?”
I couldn’t help but be proud of myself when Ren told me that I made a lot of progress. If you put a lot of effort and time into something, it always gave you a lot of satisfaction when it ended up with success.
“I’m good.” We’d trained since sunrise, and my wounds were healing fast. Not as my heart though. I hadn’t seen Amelia since that day. I missed her, and my wolf was anxious and desperate to feel her, but I gave her enough time to heal herself, and I knew she was not going anywhere.
“Let’s take a break.”
I didn’t insist on continuing, so I bowed. “Sensei.”
“You don’t have to call me that.” He chuckled.
I liked the sword he lent me, one of his family’s heirlooms. I didn’t realize what he meant when he asked if I wanted to take a break. I was too focused on the training until my wolf purred, and the scent brought in the air verified it.
My heart started hammering as I turned to find her. The moment our gazes locked, all those worries faded away. As the guys watching us began leaving, I stayed and she walked in my direction with Theia tailing her.
“That was impressive.” There was still a reserve in her actions, and I knew what guilt could do to a person. I had that in me for more than two years.
“Thanks. I’m trained by the best Senseis in town.” I smiled proudly.
“I barely helped.” A small smile curved up her lips.
“You did help me, Amelia. And I’m grateful. Wanna do sparing?”
“You can’t beat me, Alpha.” There you go, the Amelia I always loved.
“I won’t even try.”
“Maybe next time. You should rest. You’re still healing.”
“Will you join me over a cup of coffee?” I waited and I didn’t hear a response until Ren and Theia left. “Sorry.”
“No. Don’t be.” She breathed deeply as if finding a lot of courage and strength to put up her words.
“Don’t leave me, Amelia.”
Her brows knitted. “Why did you say that?”
“I feel like you’re about to say something that I might not like.”
“And that me leaving you? Are you kidding me right now?” The way she looked at me, I clearly offended and hurt her.
“Then just say it.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat.
“I was gonna apologize for bailing you. I should have been there with you while you were recovering, but looking at you so sick and in a lot of pain that I’ve caused, it hurt, and the guilt and that demon just got into my head, and I let it in. I should have fought it and realized sooner that what demons do, is taunt and haunt and feed humans and us with our guilt and mistakes. I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize. You did what was right and you saved me.”
“Stop saying I saved you when I almost killed you.”
“To save my soul. I think that’s beyond plausible.” I smiled. “Coffee? Or is it that every time you see me, you see that asshole, too?”
“He’s beyond an asshole. He’s a demon.”
“You know what the guys call you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me they call me Demon Slayer?” When I laughed, she said, “They can be sued for copyright infringement.”
“Have you seen the infirmary?” We walked back inside the pack house.
“Yeah. It must have cost you a fortune.”
“It has to be done. It’s necessary,” I told her as Emil and Walker joined behind us after handling our coffee.
“Thanks, guys.” She smiled at them and noticed the chain around Walker’s neck.
“Do you like it, Amelia?” The pendant was in a rectangular shape, and the gemstone replaced the sun that shone from the horizon.
“Let me guess, another Demon Slayer preference?”
Walker laughed and fist-bumped with her. “The one and only.”
“Then you should slay one.”
We headed to my office.
“You didn’t change anything.” She looked around and nothing changed.
“It wasn’t damaged. They didn’t come to look for something. They just wanted to destroy the house. I was surprised they didn’t burn it down since Alec liked to blow up buildings.”
She took a seat while I opened the drawer. “Kailin came to visit me.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t try to see you.”
“That’s what I wanted. I needed to clear my head. Thank you for giving me the time I needed.” She dropped her gaze as pain laced through her eyes.
“Amelia, take the time you need. You worked hard since you came back to me. And this is not a sprint.”
“I’m good, Ryden.”
“Yet, you can barely look me in the eye, and it hurts that you can’t even trust me to be alone with me.”
“That’s not true.” She met my gaze. The way she looked at me, she struggled with so much pain in her.
“Really?” I rounded and sat next to her. “Look at me without flinching and being guarded around me.
“It’s— it’s not that simple.” She looked away with a sigh.
“Is it your guilt or do you feel like you were looking at that demon that messed you up in the head.”
“It’s both, Ryden!” She stood up and rushed towards the door.
I stood up. “Go ahead. Leave. It’s not that I need you right now, Amelia. Like I’ve not been in hell for the past four days. Without you, my life just stopped. It if wasn’t for our friends, I might have just taken my own life so the suffering would stop.”
With one swift move, she turned around. Her chin trembled. “Why the fuck would you do that?”
“You never flinched when I tried touching you, and you’d rather be locked up in a room than come and see me. I am hurt as much as you are. I’m traumatized as much as you do. Is it what you just said, a demon’s doing? Will you let him win? He’s dead and back to hell, and we’re still here and messed up.”
When she wiped her tears and sniffed, I stayed rooted to the ground no matter how much my heart told me to go and comfort her. I didn’t want to push her too hard than I already did.
“I’m sorry.”
When she walked back, I couldn’t be happier. Then she stopped and closed her eyes.
“What are you doing?”
She didn’t respond but lifted her hand and blindly traced my face. She started from my hair, my hairline down to my forehead. “I thought you had the perfect brows.” Then my cheekbone. I closed my eyes as well and felt the softness of her warm fingers against my skin, and then on my eyelash to the bridge of my nose.
She took a deep breath before she moved to my lips, tracing her thumb on my bottom lip. My heart started beating wildly as she pressed it there for a moment, and she moved both hands and placed them on my chest.
“I can feel your heartbeat.”
“My heart beats for you, Amelia. There’s no demon left inside me. It would not beat if it’s still here.”
“I know. And I don’t wanna be afraid anymore.” She gasped as she wrapped her arms around me and sighed. “I know this is you. You’re warm and you have a heart.”
I hugged her tight into my arms as if I was scared to let her go, and I wouldn’t feel her again. Like I held on to dear life. Well, she was my life.