Chapter 51: 38-2

"I'm just a stupid, needy girl like any other," I sob out as my vision blurs. He pulls me into him. "Shh baby, you're not stupid at all. Far from it actually." This is it, being held, feeling vulnerable but safe, protected like any other girl would want. This is what I need. "I'm sorry," I can't help but mutter over his shoulder. "Why are you apologizing?" His hand is running circles on my quaking back. "I overreacted." "No you didn't, I was an idiot." I shake my head against him. "No, something must have been wrong for you to change like that, but I was just so angry. I was stupid." "Stop saying that," he scolds as he pulls my head back to look at him. "What happened?" I ask as I sniffle the last of my tears away. I catch his pupils dilate a bit—a very slight psychological symptom we all fall victim to. His mouth hangs open, unsure of what to say. I begin to grow worried by this suddenly distressed expression. "Jaewook, what happened?" "Ah," he looks down with a smile, but there's already tears in his eyes. "It's always been hard for me to talk about myself..." "I know. Here—" I move into a hug again, my head on his shoulder and his on mine. His arms wrap around my body like second nature. "Say it without looking at me." I stare out at the park as I wait. There are some other couples sitting on blankets, and a few kids running around in the distance. "My—my grandfather. I was very close to him." I can hear the struggle in his words. I wonder if he ever tells anyone about his personal life and feelings? "He got into an accident when I was 13, and he was hospitalized. He had to go on life support. He's been like that until now." My heart drops at what I assume follows and now I feel like utter shit. He said before that his grandparents were gone, but he never said they had all passed away. I'm glad he can't see my face right now. "He passed. I got the call when you were in the bathroom. We always knew he'd die at some point, but I didn't expect that. I felt numb, like I couldn't think properly. I'm so sorry I ended up hurting you." "God," I say under my breath as another tear falls down my cheek. "Jaewook," I pull away to see his eyes truly sparkling now and his nose pink. "I'm so so so sorry. Damn—" "Don't feel bad, please." All this time I assumed he just stopped liking me or found someone new, or even moved away. But he was just grieving. "He was all I had left. I was so close to him before the accident. We all were, he was just that kind of man." Now it's my turn to rub circles on his back as he hangs his head. "We had to go to Busan for the funeral and to deal with legal stuff. So I was gone for about three days." I squeeze my eyes shut. That's why. "I'm sorry I couldn't say anything sooner. I just—It's just so hard for me to talk about stuff like this." I sigh and take his face in my hands. He looks at me expectantly. "Jaewook, from now on we can't hide anything from each other. Okay? Whether it be my stupid insecurities or something as heartbreaking as loss—we need to be open to each other. More vulnerable. It's terrifying, but I can't lose you. And I felt close to losing you just because we couldn't talk to each other honestly." He nods his head and closes his eyes. "I know, I'll do my best." His eyes open and he leans into me, his forehead against mine. "I was worried about losing you too." I feel my body come loose all of a sudden. As of it was wind up like a toy, held tight and tense for so long, he finally turned the nob and let me relax and unwind. I'm not sure who put their lips on the other's first, but we end up kissing. It's soft, not heavy like it usually is, just delicate. "Oh," he says in front of my lips, the air ticking me. "I have something." He leans back to take something out of his backpack. He hands me a small dark blue box. I look up at him questionably. "This was your birthday present, but I didn't have the opportunity to give it to you." I carefully open the box to reveal a silver necklace. It's simple, with just one pendant hanging down the centre. I lift it with my fingers, taking in its twisted shape and curve. "It looks like half a—" My words fade when he raises an arm and shows a bracelet. It's has a thin, dark band, but a simile pendant hangs off if, and when he brings it to the necklace he connects the two pieces to make up what I guessed. A heart. He looks up at me with a crooked, boyish smile. I'm in awe as I look at the complete set. The half hearts wrap around each other, like tangled vines, to become a full, complex heart. "Do you like it?" "You're going to make me cry again you idiot," I hit his arm and he smiles widely. He takes the necklace out of the box and unclips it. I move my head down slightly so he can reach around to re-clip it. Then he lifts my hair. It falls nicely between my collarbone, simple and elegant. He connects the two again, clearly amused by it as his hand lays on my neck. I softly laugh at his childish expression and kiss him again. "This is the best present ever," I whisper. "I love you so much," he breathes against me, his face serious again as he grazes a thumb over my cheek. With the sun shining on my head, the leaves of the trees singing as the wind makes them dance, and the person I love in my presence, I feel complete. Full. Every crack filled up until it's impossible to tell that I was ever broken at all. ...