Chapter 14

JW: Make sure you ice your hamstring I read Jaewook's text with a sigh as I lay on my bed with an ice pack on my thigh. It is quite an awkward position since I need to lie on my belly. D: I am, I reply. JW: And use a foam roller. I have one you can borrow if you want I softly laugh at his concern for me. It's so cute. D: I'll keep that in mind JW: and if you need to leave your apartment let me know I'll help you JW: I mean if your brother isn't there D: Okay I see the dots of him typing a message, but then they disappear. And they don't reappear. How do I ask about the kiss? That wasn't a birthday present like the first, that was something completely different. I try my best to recover my injuries, both the physical one of my thigh and the social ones of me being an embarrassment. To forget about the trauma, I sit at my desk and dive my nose into studying. I have to sit on one side of my butt to lessen the pressure on my upper thigh, but I'm able to focus well. So well that I forget to eat. I close my books hastily and limp my way to the kitchen. "I got pizza," my brother says while downing a slice. "Nice of you to share, gees," I exclaim as I see the pizza is half eaten already. I sit down and drag the box to me. He tries to pull it back but I raise my eyebrows threateningly. "I've had an incredibly humiliating and unlucky day today, back off." He raises his arms up in surrender. "Dad's coming to visit soon." "Really? Has the tour finished?" I say with my mouth full of cheesy goodness. "For now, but it starts back up in a few weeks." We were used to not seeing our parents often, that's why we grew to rely on each other. My parents' relationship didn't work out, for obvious reasons. Zen and I never really had a problem with their divorce, mostly because we were already old enough to understand that their relationship wasn't the greatest. We lived with our dad—since my mother is entirely unreliable—but being a Brit-born rock musician without many opportunities in Korea, he struck fame in Japan. Then he fell in love, bought a place there, and now has a toddler. He found us this small place and paid the big deposit and the rent when we were still young. Now that he's more well off, he's offered to buy us a bigger place but we refused. We knew that just because he was getting more gigs, it didn't mean he was rich. Japan is more expensive than here after all and he has another family to support. So we insisted that we'll make our own money. He still tries to make up for it by sending, albeit rather obscure, but strangely helpful gifts. Like our wide assortment of ingenious veggie cutters and peelers, and even a robot vacuum that Podo is trying to figure out how to destroy. I don't mind. I actually like this tiny little trash bin. . . . I'm back in my room, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating if I should do what I'm thinking of doing. Just do it, he might not even be in his room. With a deep inhale, I lean my head against the wall and listen for any movement. I don't hear anything. "Jaewook?" I say softly as I lightly knock on the wall. Well, looks like he isn't in there that's too bad— I hear his bed move as he likely climbs on it. "Noona?" Shoot. "Uh, hi," I giggle nervously. He's right there, his face his right there but I can't see it. "What were you doing?" I awkwardly ask. "I was studying." "Really?! That's great!" My enthusiasm causes him to chuckle. I clear my throat. "Uh, actually, we need to talk." "Isn't that what we're doing?" He asks. "I mean face to face." "Oh...wait, don't move. I'll come over," he says urgently. I can hear his bed move again as he leaves. I stand up and limp over to the front door. I'm about to open it when it opens for me. "Darn, I forgot Zen hasn't changed the code," I say to myself. "What are you doing? I told you to wait." His eyebrows are furrowed in worry. He holds onto my arm and helps me walk to the table. "Thanks," I mumble. He sits and holds his hands together. His eyes move around frantically, unsure of what's going on. "Right," I get my thoughts in order, "I'll just get to the point." He's taken aback a bit. "Which part of you is the real you." I don't even pose it as a question. I stare into his eyes intensely, watching as many different emotions flash over his eyes. He's flustered. "What—what do you mean?" "Oh don't pull that cow poop," I slam a palm on the table but he just snorts at me in laughter. "Why are you all cute and innocent and oh I have no idea what use protection means," he snorts again at my imitation of him, "and then BOOM you say suggestive things with a smirk and you even—you—you even give me tongue?!" I look at him in complete bewilderment. He shrugs his shoulders with a smug look on his face. "Yah!" I slam my fists on the table and he jumps back a bit. "Im Jaewook! Answer me." "I'm not lying to you," he says calmly. I give him a death stare. "Okay, okay, I do know what protection is, I'm 19 not 9. But the rest is real." "But even now, you're talking to me so comfortably. What happened to the boy that was scared of me?" "I was scared of you. You're intimidating as fuck—" "HEY! Watch the language." "Sorry," he laughs. "You're intimidating at first. But then I realized that you're not as scary as you present yourself to be." My lips twitch as I ponder over this. I have been told by many people that I scare them... "It's not my fault my youthful face gives off a naive little boy vibe. I was just intimidated. But now I'm not." He leans back in his chair a bit and puts his hands in his jean pockets. "But—" "I wasn't sure how to act around you once I got to know you. I knew you saw me as this little angel. I tried to keep it up but it's so damn frustrating now." "And the kiss?" I ask hesitantly. "The birthday kiss was a joke," he smirks at me. "It was funny to see your expression after." His body lightly shakes from his belly laugh. It was a joke? "You rotten kid," I mumble. "And the second one, well the second one was because I wanted to. I had a shitty day and you really helped. I knew you wouldn't refuse me after seeing me cry, you're too softhearted." "Yah! You took advantage of my kindness you little twerp," I stare at him hostilely. "That's it." So both versions are him, kinda. And he kissed me because he wanted to, I figured that much. But that doesn't change the fact that he's playing around with me. I shake my head as my thoughts muddle together. "This is still just confusing. You can go now." "What?" "That's all I wanted to ask. You can go." He looks disappointed as he gets up. "The problem with all of this Jaewook, is that I feel like I can't trust your intentions. Why are you playing games with me? Why can't you just be honest with me?" He watches me wordlessly as I slowly push him towards the door. "I get it, you think I'm a hot Noona and you've never kissed an older, black girl before and wanted to try it or whatever. But I'm not a toy to be played with." A few seconds of silence draw out between us before I close the door and head back to my room. I grab my pillows and blankets and bring them to the small dining/entertainment room. There's no way I can sleep in that room knowing he's right there. This is the problem with younger guys Destiny, they just flirt because their hormones tell them to, not because their intention is to ask you out. Yeah he's cute, yeah he makes you flustered, but you're not making any moves until he stops playing around and figures out his feelings. ...