Chapter 46

Eros Robinson’s POV

I woke up and found myself still in George's room, but I didn't find him in that room. Suddenly I remembered what had happened to me before. I got up from my bed to sit up and then ruffled my mane gently. After that, I stood up and walked to the small sink at the end of the room to wash my face with water. I saw my reflection in the glass above the sink. Looking at the reflection of the blue beads there as if trying to find an answer, while continuing to ask in my heart what really made me dream of my past again which I don't want to remember at all.

I closed my eyes and let out a low growl. The hatred that I had buried deep in my heart for a long time suddenly evaporated back to the surface. All the bad memories from my childhood came back one by one in my mind until my head felt full. Until I couldn't hold it in and let it out with a scream.

“Eros!” I heard a scream from the door. That's George. He just came and immediately approached me. Then he immediately helped to carry my body back to bed. "What are you doing here?" George asked again when he had sat me on the edge of the bed and he pulled a chair to sit right in front of me.

I was silent for a moment, not answering his question directly. I took a deep breath and let it out. Only after that did I start to tell George what happened to me. "I dreamed of my childhood again," I said starting my story that night and George listened to me carefully.

“Did you previously come into contact with anything related to your past?” Cecar George.

“Martin appeared and provoked me. He tried to take Freshia and came to see me several times.”

"Then what happened between you and him?"

“You know that I don't like people interfering in my business and he's been bothering me lately. You know George that the only weakness that can make him stop is that woman.”

"Then what did you do to him?"

"I contacted him." My answer is short.

George looked at me closely. “So you're saying, y-you called… your mother?” George asked carefully.

I fell silent. Glaring sharply at George. My hands clenched into fists. I really don't want to hear what George just said to me. "Unlucky. You know I don't want to hear that name, George!” I snapped at George who finally realized that he had said it wrong.

"Excuse me. I think you can already hear that name."

"I will never ever want to hear that term addressed to the woman I have always hated so much, George."

"OK, fine. I'm sorry, Eros. Let's go back to the initial discussion, OK? Then what did you talk to that woman on the phone?”

I was silent for a moment. My emotions took over again as I tried to remember my previous conversation with the woman I would never want to call mother. “I threatened him. I said that I would finish Martin off if he didn't get back out of the country right now. He of course immediately stopped me and reminded me of our status.” I paused my words.

"He reminded me again that somehow Martin and I flow the same blood and we were both born from his womb," I said back. George was silent. I knew that he was waiting for me to finish my story. "But I immediately denied it and reminded him again that he had chosen everything, so I would also assume that he had been dead for a long time since the day he left me."

"Then what exactly are you planning that you are willing to contact him again?" George asked again.

“After that call, I heard that he had another heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. And that's what I want. My goal of getting Martin back abroad was achieved. I have to get rid of everything that hinders and annoys me, right?”

George took a deep breath. "Of course, the memory of your past came back because you decided to reconnect with everyone involved in your past, Eros. And you can't make peace with everything yet. That's what makes you dream and have panic attacks. You should have predicted it before deciding to contact that woman.”

I just kept quiet. I didn't think that the memory of my past incident would still have such a big impact on me.

“Do you feel much better now?” George asked for the umpteenth time.

That question made me realize instantly and I thought again about Freshia. “Not completely. When I woke up from my nightmare, Freshia was beside me. She saw me at my worst, George. And I want you to help me to make her forget all that. Erase her memory of her seeing me wake up from my nightmare.”

George seemed to frown. "So what if she knows?"

“I don't want her to know my past. I don't want her to know my shortcomings."

George was silent for a moment. "Okay, we'll deal with that later, but it's better for now that we focus on doing therapy again for you. I'm afraid your nightmares will come back if you don't get treatment. And I suggest, it's better if you don't meet Freshia right now. You even have to connect with people in your past for her. So I'm sure Freshia could also be an influence on you experiencing trauma and having nightmares again. Let's try to heal you first, Eros."

I paused to think for a moment. Reflect on everything George just said. "Okay, this time I will obey your words."

***

Five days passed and during that time I restrained myself from meeting Freshia. I underwent therapy suggested by George and stayed in my apartment for a while. However, as was my habit before Freshia lived with me, I still watched her from afar. So I still know whatever happens to her.

Like today, John told me that he could be released from the hospital and I almost forced myself to go alone to pick him up to go home. Before finally George reminded me again that if I was patient for a while, I could return to being as stable as I was before and memories of the past would no longer affect my emotions.

Two days later, George told me that I could return to my usual routine. I can interact with anyone again, including Freshia. And it was proven, that day when I returned home and saw it directly with my own eyes, I didn't remember anything anymore about my past.

I visited her in the small library in my house. At that time she was reading a book in her hand. After being discharged from the hospital and finding her calmer, I did give her the freedom to leave her room and let her wander around the house. Freshia, who just realized my presence, immediately averted her gaze from the book she was previously reading and looked at me. I could read that look, a look that implied deep curiosity.