Chapter 9 He called it love.
Flora
But maybe surviving wasn't enough anymore. Maybe I needed to fight. Even if fighting would get me killed. I don't care. Because at least I'd die as myself. As Flora. Not as some ghost of a woman I'd never been.
I stood up slowly. My legs were weak from hunger and fear, but I forced them to hold me. I walked to the mirror again.
"Tomorrow he will try to make me into Eva," I whispered to myself. "But I won't let him. I'll fight. I'll resist. And I'll never stop being Flora. Even if it kills me."
My reflection stared back. Auburn hair that would be black tomorrow. Brown eyes that would be green. But the determination in that face, the fire beginning to burn behind the fear, that was all mine.
That was Flora.
And Flora wasn't going to disappear without a fight.
I looked at the dinner tray. My stomach was cramped with hunger. If I was going to fight, I needed strength.
I walked over and picked up a piece of bread. It was still warm, and soft. I took a bite. It tasted like ash abs defeat.
But I kept eating anyway.
Because tomorrow, the war for my identity will begin.
And I needed to be ready.
Rafael
I entered my study and shut the door hard. The sound echoed through the empty room like a gunshot. I walked straight to the bar and poured myself a drink. Then another.
The amber liquid burned down my throat, but it didn't burn away the image of Flora's face. That hatred in her eyes. That defiance.
"I will never be Eva." Her words kept replaying in my head like a curse. Over and over until I wanted to scream.
I poured another drink. My hands were shaking now. When did they start shaking?
She had to be Eva. She had to be.
I drank straight from the bottle this time. The room was spinning slightly.
Eva's face appeared in my mind. My real Eva. Smiling at me across the table at that café. Laughing at my jokes. Looking at me with love, not hatred.
"Find me again," she'd whispered as she died in my arms.
I found you, I thought desperately. I found you. Why don't you remember?
The bottle was half empty now.
The room tilted. I stumbled towards the couch but missed. I fell hard on the floor but I barely felt the impact.
Morning light stabbed through my eyelids as I opened them slowly.
I looked around and realized I was in my bedroom.
How did I get to my bed?
Marco.
I pushed myself up slowly. My head pounded like someone was hitting it with a hammer. My mouth tasted like metal. I looked down. I was still wearing yesterday's clothes.
Marco had been with me for twenty years. Twenty years of cleaning up my mistakes. Carrying me to bed when I drank too much. Keeping my secrets. But I hate it when he sees me like this.
I dragged myself to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Cold water poured down my body. I needed to wake up and clear my head. Today was important.
Today, my Eva would come alive.
The shower helped. By the time I stepped out, my head was clearer. I dressed carefully in a black suit. Eva always loved me in black.
I walked downstairs. Marco was waiting in the dining room with breakfast laid out.
"Boss, you should eat something." He said smiling.
"I'm not hungry." I said coldly.
"You didn't eat dinner last night. Or lunch yesterday. You need…"
"I said I'm not hungry." I walked past him towards the east wing.
Marco's expression was troubled, but he said nothing.
I walked to Flora's room. The guards stepped aside. I unlocked the door and entered.
She was standing by the window, still wearing Eva's blue dress. She turned when I entered. Her eyes were red like she'd been crying all night.
"It's time," I said.
"Time for what?" Her voice was hoarse.
"Time to remember who you are."
Marco wheeled in a television on a stand. Behind him, two guards carried in boxes of Eva's belongings.
"What is this?" Flora's voice shook.
"Your real life." I pressed play on the remote.
The screen flickered to life. Eva's face appeared. Our wedding video. She was smiling, radiant in white lace, saying her vows.
"I, Eva Orlova, take you, Rafael Valserro, to be my husband..."
Flora's face went pale. "Turn it off."
"Watch it." I commanded.
"I don't want to watch it! That's not me!"
"It is you." I turned up the volume. Eva's laughter filled the room.
"My name is Flora!"
I ignored her and kept playing the video. Eva dancing at our wedding. Eva cutting the cake. Eva looking at me with so much love.
Flora covered her ears. "Stop it! Please stop it!"
I turned off the television and opened one of the boxes. I pulled out Eva's journals. "Here. Read these."
"They're not mine!" She was crying now.
"Read them!" My voice rose. "Learn who you really are!"
"I already know who I am!"
"No, you don't!" I threw the journals on the bed.
A knock on the door interrupted us. The hairdresser had arrived. A thin woman with sharp features carrying a large case.
"Good morning, Signor Valserro."
"Good morning, Alessandra. This is Eva."
"No!" Flora tried to run past me, but I caught her arm. "Let me go!"
I nodded to the guards. They came in and held Flora's arms while Alessandra set up her supplies.
"Please," Flora begged. "Please don't do this."
"It's just hair, Eva."
"It's not just hair! It's mine!"
"Exactly." I looked into her terrified eyes. "And who you are is Eva."
Hours passed. Alessandra worked carefully, dyeing every strand of auburn hair black. Flora cried the entire time, but she had stopped fighting.
When Alessandra finished, she held up a mirror.
Flora stared at her reflection. Her face went completely white.
"There," I said softly. "Now you look like yourself again."
The woman in the mirror did look like Eva. Exactly like Eva. Same black hair. Same face. Only the brown eyes were wrong.
"The contacts," I told Marco.
He handed me a small case with green contact lenses.
"Put these in."
"No." Flora's voice was barely a whisper.
"Put them in."
Her hands shook as she took the case. It took her three tries, but finally the green lenses were in place.
I looked at her and my breath caught.
She was exactly Eva.
"Perfect," I breathed.
Flora looked at herself in the mirror. A sound escaped her throat.
"You are my wife." I whispered, smiling. When was the last time i smiled?
"I'm not!" She turned to face me, her green eyes blazing with tears and rage. "I'm Flora!"
"Marco," I said coldly. "Bring me the tablet."
Marco hesitated, then handed me a tablet. I pulled up a news website and showed it to Flora.
"See this building?" I pointed at the screen.
"What about it?" Her voice shook.
"Watch." I said coldly.