Chapter 8 I am still me
Rafael
"I know you're scared. I know you're confused. But I promise, once you remember, once you see yourself as Eva again, everything will make sense."
She lifted her head slowly. Her eyes were red, her face streaked with tears. But there was something new in her expression.
Pure, burning hatred.
"I will never be Eva," she said, her voice hoarse but steady. "No matter what you do to me. I will always be Flora. And I will hate you until the day I die."
The words should have hurt. Instead, they sounded exactly like something Eva would say when she was angry.
Fierce, defiant and strong.
I smiled. "There she is. There's my Eva."
Flora's face went white with horror. "You're completely insane."
"Perhaps." I stood and walked to the door. "But you're still mine. And tomorrow, we will begin bringing you back."
I left her there, locking the door behind me.
Tomorrow I'd meet with Isabella and find out what she wanted. Tomorrow the transformation will begin. Flora would start becoming my Eva.
And nothing would stop me.
Not Flora's hatred. Not Isabella's schemes. Not even my own doubts.
Eva was back. And I would do whatever it took to keep her.
Flora
I couldn't stop shaking.
Even after he left, I couldn't stop shaking. My whole body trembled like I was freezing, though the room was warm.
I will always be Flora. I muttered to myself.
But what if I was wrong? What if he really could erase me and turn me into this Eva person until Flora Rossi just disappeared?
No. I couldn't think like that. I couldn't let fear win.
I sat up on the bed, wiping tears away with shaking hands. The blue silk dress felt suffocating. I wanted to rip it off, burn it, and destroy any trace of this dead woman whose ghost was stealing my life.
But I had nothing else to wear. They'd taken my uniform.
I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to think and come up with a plan.
I looked around the room, but there was nothing that belonged to Eva in it. No photo, nothing. He must have cleared them up after her death.
Now that I am here. He might bring them back and I would have to wake up to the face and smell of a woman that wasn't me, but somehow looked like me.
Why do I look so much like a woman I wasn't even related to?
I remembered the woman from earlier. Isabella Moretti. That was her name. She saw me and was also shocked by my face. But she didn't help. She just told him to meet her tomorrow, then left.
Everyone left. Everyone looked away.
The café owner looked away. The customers looked away. Even that police officer who saved me from one monster couldn't save me from this one.
I was alone. Completely alone.
Tomorrow, he said. Tomorrow the hairdresser will come. They'd dye my hair black. Make me look more like Eva. Then I would wear green contacts to hide my brown eyes.
He would erase me. Piece by piece. And take away everything that made me Flora Rossi until nothing was left but his dead wife's ghost.
I stood and walked to the mirror. I stared at my reflection. Auburn hair. Brown eyes. The face that looked so much like someone else that it cost me my freedom.
"I'm Flora," I whispered to my reflection. "Flora Rossi. I am twenty-three years old. My mother was Maria Rossi. She died when I was sixteen. My father was Antonio Rossi. He died three months later. I worked at Café Benedetto. I wanted to be a ballet dancer."
I said it again and again. Memorizing my own life like a script I might forget.
Because maybe I would forget. Maybe after enough days of him calling me Eva, showing me Eva's photos, making me wear Eva's clothes, I would start to believe him.
No. I shook my head hard. No, I wouldn't let that happen.
The door opened suddenly. I jumped back from the mirror.
The gray-haired woman entered with another tray. It was dinner, I guessed. More food I wouldn't eat.
"Please," I said quickly. "Please, you have to help me. Just let someone know I'm here. Anyone. Please."
She set the tray down without looking at me. "I'm sorry, signorina. I can't."
"Why not?" My voice broke. "Are you afraid of him?"
"You don't understand." She finally met my eyes. There was sadness there. "Signor Valserro is not a man you cross. Not if you want to live. Not if you want your family to live."
"But I haven't done anything wrong! I'm innocent!" I cried.
"So was his wife. And she's dead anyway." The woman walked to the door. "Eat something, signorina. You'll need your strength."
She left. The lock clicked. I was locked in again.
I stared at the tray. My stomach growled with hunger. I hadn't eaten since yesterday's lunch. Almost two full days without food.
But eating his food felt like accepting this.
I turned away from the tray and went to the window. It was dark now. I could see the stars beyond the glass. Somewhere out there, people were living normal lives. Going home to their families.
And I was here. A prisoner and a ghost in the making.
Suddenly, I heard voices outside my door. Guards were talking.
"The boss says the hairdresser will be coming at nine tomorrow."
"Poor girl. He’s going to make her look just like his dead wife. The boss must be insane." Another one said.
"That's the point. The boss wants his wife back."
"His wife is dead. This is just some girl who got unlucky."
"Keep your voice down. If Boss hears you talking like that, you'll be dead too."
Everywhere became silent except for the sound of their footsteps walking away.
By nine tomorrow morning, my transformation would start. Flora Rossi would be gradually erased.
My heart sank. Fear rose in my chest. I suddenly felt sick.
Everyone seems to fear the madman. None of them would want to help me. Except for that woman from earlier. Isabella Moretti. She wasn't scared of him, though I could see the respect in her eyes. She wasn't scared of him like the others.
If anyone could help me, it has to be her. But how would I get to her? She seems to be someone of influence.
But the madman won't let anyone come near me.
I slid down to the floor with my back against the door, the silk dress pooled around me.
I was trapped.
You're stronger than this, Flora. My mother's voice echoed in my head.
Was I though? I'd spent my whole life being pushed around. My father's family took everything. Signor Benedetto exploited me. That man tried to buy me.
And now this monster was trying to erase me completely.
When did I ever fight back? When did I ever refuse to be a victim?
Never. I just survived, endured. And accepted whatever terrible thing life threw at me.