Thirty Two

"Whatcha doing out here?"

Joel jumped, nearly choking on the unlit cigarette between his lips.

"Shit, Jen. You're going to give me another heart attack." I raised a brow, holding my hand out for confiscation. He pouted, that adorable pout that had me melting, but I kept it together. Seeing my unwavering will, he huffed, placing it in my palm.

"You know you can't smoke." I reminded him. It had been another five days since his discharge and he had been nothing short of a handful. He was going stir crazy. Well, we both were at this point. Being trapped in a home with the man you love is a lot less exciting when you can't have sex. Only four more days and I could finally pounce.

He stepped forward, tucking my hair behind my ear and leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"I love you. You make the perfect nurse."

"You make a very stubborn patient." I couldn't fight my smile as he chuckled, his hands circling my waist while his lips sought out my neck. I groaned, tilting my head so he could have better access. "You can't do that, either."

"Kiss my girlfriend? I didn't read that on your sheet." So damn ornery.

He latched onto the spot between my shoulder and neck, the place he knew would make me weak.

"Joel…" I whined, tugging away from him. Amazingly, he let me. There was something different about him. He was softer, kinder. Yet, still the same man I'd fallen in love with. I no longer felt like a child with him. He cherished me. And all it took was a near-death experience.

We were still undecided on whether or not to tell the school about our relationship. Joel was determined not to hide me away anymore, but I was worried about somebody else reporting us after seeing us in public. At the very least, they would make me drop his class. But then that would interrupt my graduation. I sure as hell didn't want to come back next semester for one art credit.

And if they were to deem him worthy of disciplinary action... Well, he was looking into it, reading the Faculty handbook to see what their policy was.

I lifted his hand to my cheek, leaning into it.

"I have to head back to my apartment today. I need to grab my portfolio for Econ." He smiled dreamily.

"I'll go with you."

"Are you sure?" He rolled his eyes playfully.

"Jen, baby, I need to go outside sometime. I'm supposed to be heading back to work on Monday."

"Okay, okay. You're right. " I conceded. "Get dressed and you can come." His face lit up and I laughed. Maybe fate wasn't so bad after all.

He padded over to his dresser, opening a drawer and pausing when something drew his attention.

"Hey, baby? Your mom's calling." Huh. That's weird. She normally texted me first. Maybe she did and I didn't see it. I hadn't exactly been on my phone much. I was with the person I normally used it for, so there wasn't much need. I crossed over to him, taking it from his extended hand.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sweetie. It's mom." Joel smiled, pulling a t-shirt over his bare chest. Damn, he was hot.

"Hey mom. What's up?"

"Well, I was just calling about that visit we talked about last month. Would this weekend be good for you?"

"This weekend?" I scrunched my nose. There wasn't any good reason why they couldn't come. The only hesitation I had was the fact that I wasn't ready to be away from Joel just yet. The thought made me uneasy. But Joel stepped forward, pulling me in by my waist and nodding his approval. I guess he needed a break from me.

"Uh, yea. That's fine."

"Oh, good! I'm so excited to finally meet that handsome boyfriend of yours. I can tell he's a charming man just based on that picture." She giggled. Shit. I glanced up at Joel, who was smiling, his head cocked in question.

"You sent your mom a picture of me?" He whispered. Heat rushed to my face at an alarming rate. I was planning on going to my grave with that information.

"We will get to meet him, won't we? I promise, I'll make sure your dad behaves." Joel pulled in his bottom lip, stifling his laugh and giving me an affirmative nod once again. Wait. Was he agreeing to meet my parents?

"Um, yea. You can meet him."

My mom giggled in excitement.

"That's wonderful! Oh. Honey, I'll have to text you the details. Your father is calling for me."

"Okay, mom. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye bye."

I breathed a sigh of relief, tensing again when I felt his lips back on my neck.

"Sneaky girl." He teased, his deep voice vibrating my core. "Which one did you send her?" I gasped, swatting his arm.

"Joel! I didn't send her you in a towel. That's awkward as hell!" He broke out into a fit of laughter, pulling me in tighter as he buried his face into my hair.

"I'm sorry. It's just too funny. She sounds like a nice woman." I attempted to scowl, but my smile broke through.

"You're such a tease." He gave me a kiss on the ear, turning to finish getting dressed.

"Yea, but you love me." He said with a smile. I smirked, pulling my phone up to see if I'd missed any texts.

"Always." I responded distractedly, cocking my head when an unfamiliar alert popped up. What's that?

I clicked into it.

'*You're cycle is five days past due. Please consider taking a pregnancy test*.'

What?

I must've reread those two sentences ten times. That couldn't be right. No. Maybe I had entered the date wrong when I switched to the new phone. I scrolled through urgently, clicking on the calendar so I could count manually. Thirty two days. Recount. Thirty two.

My mouth was dry, my feet locked in place.

Mistake. It had to be a mistake. I've only slept with one man since then and he can't-

Oh my God.

"Baby? You okay?" I jumped, my phone tumbling to the floor. "Hey, calm down. You're shaking. What's wrong?"

Oh my God. If I'm pregnant… that means that Joel… I need to take a test. Now.

My body moved on autopilot, collecting Joel's keys, my shoes, and my satchel, then bounding to the garage.

"Jennifer. You're freaking me out. What's going on?" Joel was rushing to keep up, but I didn't slow down. As soon as he was beside me in the car, I pulled out, heading to the pharmacy down the road. "Was that it? You needed something from the store? Did you start your period, or something?"

"I'll be right back." I offered him the best smile I could manage and he sighed.

I needed to calm down. It was probably nothing. Then I would have freaked him out for no reason.

But I hadn't been late since eighth grade. That's why the app worked so well for me. I was as regular as they came.

I scoured the aisle signs, looking for the one that had 'sexual wellness.'

He only came in me one time. And we used Plan B. Besides, weren't there supposed to be signs for pregnancy? I hadn't felt dizzy or sick or overly tired.

I grabbed a two pack of digital tests, figuring I could take both, just to make sure. Twenty bucks later, and I was back in the car.

"Did you buy anything?" Shit. I nodded. My bag was still snug against my left hip.

"In my bag. Sorry if I freaked you out. I'm good now." But he didn't look convinced.

"Baby, you know you can tell me if something's bothering you?" I wished I could. I wanted to tell him about the app, about the test, but I couldn't put him through that. I couldn't imagine what he would do if they came out negative after hearing he may be able to have children after all. I couldn't do that to him.

"I know, love. I'm fine. I just need to get to the apartment." He paused, seemingly debating with himself, before clearing his throat.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that." I furrowed my brow, forcing myself to concentrate on something other than the small plastic devices burning a hole in my side.

"About what?"

"Well… I know that it's soon, and if you don't want to decide now, that's okay, but…" He shifted, placing his hand over mine on the gearshift. "Well, I was just thinking that it might save you some money and hassle if you, um…"

Christ.

I pulled into the spot closest to my apartment before turning to face him.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" He didn't answer right away. He was scanning my face, likely trying to read my reaction. This had to be the worst timing for this.

"Is that a no?" He asked nervously.

I flipped my hand, entwining our fingers and smiling gently.

"Can I have time?" There was so much to consider, and no brain capacity to do it. He seemed to relax at my words, pulling his lips into a smile of his own.

"Of course, baby. Take all the time you need." I leaned forward, giving him a sweet kiss, before practically flying out the door to my apartment. He followed behind me, but slower, and was halfway up the steps when I unlocked the front door. I left it cracked for him, tossing the keys on the counter on my way to the bathroom.

It was supposed to be simple. Pee on the stick and wait for the screen to say 'Pregnant' or 'Not Pregnant'. So why was I so damn nervous? I heard Joel down the hall after finishing step one. I cleaned myself, averting my eyes from the counter and counting down from two hundred.

Once I hit zero, I could look and they should both be done.

One sixty, one fifty nine… My stomach was in knots. The fridge opened in the kitchen.

One hundred, ninety nine… The TV clicked on, the subtle noise being drowned out by my rapidly beating heart.

Twenty, nineteen… I had already chewed through most of my thumbnail. Had this room always been so damn small?

Two, one… Zero.

I turned slowly, eyes closed. I could do this. I needed to know. Deep breath.

My lashes fluttered open.

Oh my fucking God.

"Pregnant?" Both of them. It was clear as day. My knees gave out, coming down on the linoleum with a hard thud.

"Jen?" I heard Joel's footsteps rushing down the hall. He stopped outside the door, knocking urgently. "Baby, are you okay? Did you fall? Can I come in?"

My hand went over my mouth. I had to tell him. He was going to be a dad. God, what if he didn't want this?

"Jen-"

"One second." I choked out, gripping the door knob for balance as I clambered back to my feet. I had to be strong for him. I opened the door, meeting Joel's anxious eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked again, but I didn't answer. I stepped back, opening it wider and nodding to the counter. He furrowed his brow in confusion, trailing his gaze to the tests. Then, his whole body tensed. "What-?" Two hesitant steps and he was holding one. After a long time of silent staring, he spoke. "You're pregnant?" He whispered.

"Yes." His hands were shaking as he lowered it back to the counter.

"Whose child is it?"

What?

My jaw dropped open. I didn't know what I expected him to say, but that sure as hell wasn't it.

"Joel. It's yours." He flinched, then started shaking his head.

"No. No it's not. That's not possible." I stepped forward, but he pulled away. "Jen, I can't. You know that."

"Joel, I haven't slept with anyone else in four years."

"It was only one time. Years. We tried for years. The doctors- t-they said-" I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his trembling body. This time, he let me. Hot tears trickled onto my shoulder. "Promise? Do you promise?"

"I promise." I assured him again. His arms came up, strongly pressing me closer to him. One hand clutched onto my shirt while the other buried into my hair. "Are you angry?" He let out a breathy laugh.

"No. Not angry. Wait, are you?" He pulled back to look at me, his brow creased in concern. "I swear, I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't know-"

"I know. I'm not mad. But… What are we going to do? I have school. And I'm so young. God, Joel, the school. Will I be showing for graduation? And my parents. Fuck, my dads going to kill me." He laughed, cupping my face in his hands.

"Baby, I think he'll kill me long before he kills you. We'll figure it out. I know we will. But I think we should start by moving your pregnant little ass into my home." He was so carefree now, his smile lighting up the room.

"You're happy?" I thought aloud.

"Baby, I'm beyond happy." One of his hands traveled down, coming to rest on my flat belly. "It had to have been one in a million for you to get pregnant like that." He sniffled, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm a fucking mess." I giggled, ignoring my own tears.

"Don't be sorry. It's a big moment for you. For both of us."

"I'm going to be a dad." His stormy blue eyes widened with realization. "Shit, we need to get you a doctor. We need to make sure he's healthy." He reached into his back pocket for his phone, but I took it, setting it on the counter before wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Right now, I just need you to kiss me."