Chapter 13
When I was a child, whenever I asked my grandfather, “Why do other kids have moms, but I don't?”
Grandfather couldn't comfort me; he could only tell me, “If you miss your mom, write in your diary.”
In the diary, there would be a mom.
In the diary, my mom would encourage me when I achieved something;
she would comfort me when I was sad;
she would stand up for me when my classmates isolated me.
...
In the diary, my mom could do anything, but in reality, my mom saw my diary when I was five and tore up my journal.
“I don't have a bastard like you. Every time I see you, I think of that rapist. I wish I could kill you!”
...
Thinking about these things gave me a headache.
I was born as a mistake; what qualifications do I have to receive happiness?
Just like my sister being with Timothy, I have no say in anything.
Diary
Halfway through, I hugged my knees and cried uncontrollably.
Suddenly, there were hands around my waist, “I'm not dead yet, why are you crying?”
Huh?
“You're awake!”
“Yes, I'm awake, and you're still crying.”
“I'm just so happy.” I suddenly embraced him tightly, almost kissing his lips.
“You really don't want me to die?”
“Mhm.”
He froze for a moment, then after a few seconds, he said, “Christina, you shouldn't like me.”
I never liked him in the first place, but why did he say that? I felt like someone poured cold water on me.
“I don't like you.” I told him seriously.
“I'm different from you.” Suddenly, he became serious.
“What's different about you?”
“I don't have a heart.” He paused for a moment, “I can play around, but I won't get married.”
“Fine.” I laughed, trying to ease the awkwardness, “I get it, next time introduce me to that Patrick guy.”
Oh, his expression turned ugly.
“He's not good either. If he gets close to you again, I won't mind getting rid of him.”
“You...you're really nosy.”
“You're only suited for finding a good student and living a peaceful life.” After saying that, he forced a laugh, then became nonchalant again, “Of course, not everything requires being in a romantic relationship.”
Me:?
You've come back to life and now you're acting all muddled, you bastard.
“Did I lie down for two days?” he asked again.
“Mhm.”
“Did you secretly kiss me?” he asked with a smile.
“I'm not that twisted!” I couldn't believe it. What does he think I am to him, an animal?
He was barely hanging on to life, and I would take advantage of him?
“That's a shame.”
A shame?
The next second, he pulled me closer and held the back of my head, lowering his head to kiss me.
He kissed me carefully, taking care of my emotions and guiding me slowly.
“Let's go, I've arranged for someone to come pick us up.”
He let me go and stopped looking at me.
It was as if the person who had just kissed me was someone else.
“Kevin, you can't just kiss me like that.” I was somewhat angry.
“And then?”
“This is harassment, and you're really annoying!”
He suddenly stopped while walking ahead, lowered his head again, and stared at me. “What can you do to me?”
My heart was beating faster as he looked at me like that after my heart had just calmed down.
How can he be such a jerk?
“I...”
Before I could finish speaking, he leaned down and kissed me again.
A quick kiss as a punishment.
His voice was hoarse, “It's an honor to be hated by you.”
“And besides, you kissed me first, so at most, this is just a return gift.”
I...
Could it be that last night, when I found his breath weak and thought he was dying, and gave him artificial respiration, he knew?
I was dumbfounded.
“I did it to save you.”
“Dr. Hayes seems to have a strong sense of medical ethics,” he laughed again.
I couldn't be bothered to answer and continued walking with my head down.