Chapter 22: The Lone Alpha
Chapter Twenty. Davina.
Empathy?
Yes, I have experienced it before. I have experienced the type of empathy where you imagine a person’s pain, cry on their behalf, and reinstate with their story. But this is beyond anything I could have imagined. As Mars told me his history, of why he ran away, I physically felt his pain, to the point where I felt like my heart would break apart. The pain was oozing out of his every pour, and invading my emotions with such ferocity, it was almost like his family were my family. The little boy who sacrificed himself to save him was a close relative. I felt every last bit of his survivor’s guilt, and everything within me wanted to reach out and take that pain away from him. The sectarian killings in Ireland were still a thing, although I thought the republic was not involved in such actions. It is heartbreaking for the innocents left behind.
I know he could be spinning me a yarn in order to get into my knickers again. But honestly, I don’t think so. Am I being too trusting? Probably, but there is just something about the way he told me, the tears he shed and the clear pain that he was enduring, that told me to trust his words.
I lay in my bed, tossing and turning, still shedding silent tears thinking about everything Mars has endured, and it is beyond heartbreaking. It feels to me, like a living torture.
God, why am I so invested?
Why do I feel his pain so strongly? Is that what it is like when you share a child with someone?
The other thing he is right about is the chemistry. It is mind-blowing, but again, I have to question if that is just because he knows I am still attracted to him, that I am a potential ‘easy lay’ for him. I don’t think so, but honestly, I just don’t know for sure.
Then there was the other bombshell, the one I quickly glossed over and ignored. His declaration that the night we conceived Max was his first time. Hell, is that true? I mean you can physically tell with a woman, but a man could spout any amounts of Bullshit and I would never know. I hardly dare believe him. Honestly, I don’t want to think about it, about what that would mean if he is telling the truth. Would it be easier for me to accept the way I behaved that night? Probably, but no matter what this thing is between us, I have to ensure that Max is the focus, and not this chemistry, that is sizzling between us.
God. Tomorrow, he called it a date. I was so lost in the moment, that I didn’t correct him. To swept up in the emotional tornado that came from his story, and subsequent declarations to correct that idea. However, the undeniable truth is, I don’t want to correct it. I actually want a date with the man who has turned my life on its head, not for the first time in my life.
Am I that desperate for attention? Affected by the lack of care in my childhood and teenage years, that I have lost all common sense. Or is this something else, something more? Are these feelings that manifest every time I am around Mars the connection between a man and woman that you read about in romance DaisyNovel, or see on the silver screen?
Who knows, but one thing is for certain, if I do not get any sleep soon, I will have bags as big as suitcases under my eyes in the morning and will look like a hot mess for my first ever real date. If that indeed, is what it is.
“MAMMY, GET UP!” Instantly I open my eyes, to see my boy, his little face covered in the hazelnut and chocolate spread he loves so much.
Woah, how long have I slept? I look at the clock by the bed and see it flashing 9:30.
“Geeze, sorry Max,” I quickly apologise. I never sleep in, and that old familiar friend, guilt seeps into my consciousness.
“That is okay. Daddy made me chocolate toast. We are going on an adventure, and he is taking me to show me archery, the man from yesterday will not be there. I didn’t like him. Neither did Thrax,” Max rambles a mile a minute.
Oh hell, Mars is going to think I am a terrible mother. I am a terrible mother, who sleeps past their child getting up!
As I am having a minor meltdown, there is a soft knock on my bedroom door.
“Sorry, I would have let you sleep longer, but I didn’t want to overstep and get Max ready myself,” Mars miles at me, poking his head around the door.
“Can I come in and have a coffee for you?” he adds.
I nod, then pull the covers over myself a little more, even though I am fully covered, having worn my grey, long-legged PJs with pink giant elephants on, and matching button-down shirt. Yeah, not sexy at all, and my nightwear of choice whilst Mars is staying in the caravan with us.
“I am sorry, I have never slept this long. I swear, I do get up with him,” I quickly tell him.
“Hey, do not stress about that. I wanted you to have a lie-in. You deserve a break,” Mars smiles, handing me the coffee.
I sip the bitter liquid, feeling it ignite my sleep-fogged brain, letting out the audible sigh that only a hot coffee on a morning can bring. Instantly Mars’ eyes turn black, then that silver flashing thing they do, as he lets out a low growl, which sounds more seductive, than scary, before blinking and controlling whatever urge that was happening with him.
Clearly, Max gets his growling habit from his father.
“What time is Archery?” I ask, hoping that I haven’t made them too late.
“Any time you want. I am doing his lesson. If you like I can take him now, and you can continue to have a nice rest, take your time to get ready. It is up to you,” he smiles at me.
“No, I wanted to try Archery myself,” I smile up at him.
“Okay, well, when you are getting ready, I will put you some breakfast on. Oh, Max said he only wanted chocolate toast, I hope that was, okay?” he asks me.
“Yeah, fine. You don’t have to make me breakfast, I will pop some toast on when I am finished,” I smiled.
“Take the extra help, Davina. Because I get the feeling you haven’t had much over the years,” Mars tells me, then reaches out for Max, who happily runs to him.
His comment reminds me that he has been honest with me, yet I am still holding back about my situation, and Max’s. Tonight, I will have to bite the bullet so to speak and tell him that he is correct there has only ever been Max and me, and the reaction of my parents when I told them I was pregnant. Trust me, no parent wants to hear about people telling you to abort your child, and after what had happened to his family, I dread to think of his reaction.
“His clothes are in the top drawer in his bedroom,” I shout through with a smile, allowing him to help me, whilst I jump into the shower, and find something half decent to wear on a date with my son’s father.
I stand at the line on the range, holding the large bow, as Max is behind me, his body pressed into mine as he shows me the perfect position to fire the bow. Holy Moley this is pleasurable torture. His body is firm, but one part of him is distinctly ‘hard’ causing between my legs to pulse. I blow out a breath, as I pull the string containing the arrow back.
“Don’t be nervous,” Mars’s velvety smooth voice whispers in my ear, leaving a trail of goosebumps on my skin. My nipples are pointier than the pyramids of Giza, as he, honestly, sniffs the air, lets out that low growling sound again, and then begins to chuckle.
“You smell divine,” he whispers again, and I lose the ability to breathe.
Hell, what is he doing to me?
“Mammy look at me!” Max shouts, as I let my arrow fly, missing the target completely, and turn to my son who is with a small crossbow with a plastic arrow, and a smaller target closer to him.
I glance down at where he is target is and see that he has four, yes, I kid you not, FOUR arrows stuck in the bullseye.
“Wow, Max, well done sweetheart!” I shout with joy for him.
“Yeap, my boy is a natural,” Mars puffs his chest with pride.
We finish off at the range, then head over to the carpark, as Mars unlocks a very expensive electric Jaguar I Pace.
“Is this yours?” I ask him, and he nods his head.
“My parents bought me one for my 18th birthday. But I only drove it twice, before what happened took place. I decided to treat myself and get another about six months ago. A way to remember them, even if I don’t have the original car,” Mars states, a sad look flashing on his perfect features, but then he turns and smiles at Max.
“I had one of the guys get me a car seat and fitted it for Max. Here you go son, lets get you strapped in safely,” he grins, as I blink my eyes at his thoughtfulness.
“Thank you,” I whisper, not sure what to say.
“No need to thank me. I want to make sure our boy is safe, at all times,” Mars grins, then rushes round and opens my door, as I climb in and sit on the cream leather seat.
“This is so posh mammy,” Max said looking up at the glass roof of the SUV.
“I know,” I look over my shoulder at him.
“Right, so let’s go to Holy Island because we don’t have long before the tide comes in and we cannot get across the causeway,” Mars tells me, and we set off on my first official date, ever.
I could get used to this!