Chapter 20: The Lone Alpha

Chapter Eighteen. Davina.

Oh, my word! What a day. My mind has been in a whirlwind of emotions. Mars, holding my hand all day, has really thrown me for a loop. Never more so, than when he declared, he didn’t want to let it go. It has been so confusing. Attempting to keep my emotions in check has been an epic failure, because I feel a connection to him, you only ready in romance DaisyNovel.

Crazy?

Yes, trust me, I know.

To be honest, I am glad he has gone out for his run because it gives me some breathing space, and time to get my mind and my body back under control. Being around him makes common sense fly out the window, it is hard to think, and difficult to breathe, which is problematic, to say the least.

Did I feel protected by Mars when dealing with that perv at archery? I would be an utter liar if I said no, because seeing him swoop in to defend me was almost swoon worthy. Then there was the way he interacted with Max all day. Seriously, seeing him patently answering all his questions, bending down with that tort bum of his, showing him different animals and plants which my son loved, was making my ovaries scream at me to just give in and jump him. Then are there. Watching the lust-filled gazes from women, and let me be honest, some men as well, both young and old, and him not even noticing, keeping his sole attention on either me or Max, was a huge boost to my confidence, and made me feel like a million pounds. He was perfect.

But. Yes, there is the big but. What happened that night in the alley? A leopard never changes its spots. I am utterly terrified that he is going to change his mind about Max, and if honest, me, and do a disappearing act, so I cannot act on these feelings that have manifested themselves again.

“Hey Max, would you like a snack, and then head to the big playpark before we go out tonight?” I asked my boy.

“I am tired, I want to stay in the caravan please,” Max tells me.

Now there is a first. My son is actually tired, he normally has boundless energy.

“That’s okay, would you like to have a relax watch one of your DVD’s,” I smile down at him.

“Yes please mammy,” he nods his little head, then disappears into his bedroom, and grabs his duvet, walks back in, dragging his bedding behind him before climbing up onto the sofa and lying down.

This is not like Max at all. I reach over and feel his forehead to check that he is not running a temperature, but he feels like he normally does. Maybe he is just finally wiped out from all the fresh air, running around, and the emotional upheaval of finding his father. Plus, he was up halfway through the night looking for Mars under the caravan.

“Would you like to give tonight a miss. Have tea at the caravan, and an early night?” I ask my son.

“Will daddy come for tea?” Mars asks.

I smile down at him, nodding my head. God, I really hope Mars doesn’t disappear and run away again, because my son’s heart will be broken. Plus, even though I will deny it if asked, I think my own will take a hammering as well.

Crazy? Yeah, but this chemistry, that is like an invisible thread pulling me to him is off the scale.

“Yes, we will make him our favourite food, mince and dumplings,” I grin at Max, as he fist pumps the air, letting out a small “Yippee”.

“Now, which DVD would you like to watch?” I ask, waiting for the inevitable change of his mind before settling on something. However, he must be tired because he instantly tells me ‘Sonic 2’.

“That was quick,” I giggle at him.

“Thrax is asleep, so he couldn’t argue with me about it,” Max tells me.

I blow out a breath and nod my head.

That reminds me, I need a way to ask Mars not to keep acknowledging Thrax. He has done it all day. He was even talking to the damned imaginary dog, a couple of times. Max is back at school in a few weeks, I really don’t want the teachers or kids thinking he is behind in his development because he still has his imaginary friend. Because, my son is very intelligent for his age, of that I am one hundred percent certain.

“Thrax feels safe when daddy is here,” Max mumbles to me.

“That is good,” I ruffle my son’s hair.

I can feel the guilt beginning to rise inside me. Am I making my son feel unsafe? I know I am a little neurotic about his safety, maybe my fears are influencing my son. Maybe, I am the problem and the reason he is imagining the dog. A way to feel protected. I guess having Mars around is giving Max some peace and extra security. The issue is whether Mars remains in his life or not, he works here, and we live over an hour,in a car, away. He is not going to be around all the time, which is just the facts of the situation.

I blow out a breath, there is so much to think about, and to work out, but right now, my brain has reached overload, so I just need to do something to take my mind off everything. I head into the small kitchen area, and get working on pealing the potatoes and veg, then mix up the suet puddings, and begin to fry off the mince. I am cooking away, concentrating on what I am doing when Mars arrives back from his run.

He is freshly showered, wearing a pair of jeans with a black tight-fitting T-shirt looking absolutely breathtaking.

“Hey, what is all this,” he smiles at me, you know, the type of smile that makes you weak at the knees. Yeap, my knees are definitely weak right now. I almost feel faint. He places a large black holdall down which clearly contains his clothes and things for the next few days.

“Max is tired, and so we are not going to go out tonight, but have a cooked meal, and I think he needs an early night,” I smile.

Open the cupboard that houses he plates, and hand him three with a smile.

“Would you mind?” I ask, indicating the table with my head.

“Of course, not. Wow, this smells delicious,” he compliments, taking the plates and setting the table. God, I love it and hate it when he pays me a compliment. I love it because it gives me a warm glow inside. I hate it because that glow comes out on my cheeks, and it is difficult to remember what he did the night Max was conceived.

“Oh, I think Max is asleep,” Mars tells me, looking over at his son grinning with pride.

“Bless him, I hope he isn’t coming down with anything. But while he is napping, I am trying to ignore the ‘Thrax’ thing, as he seems attached to his imaginary friend, and I don’t want to encourage that behaviour, especially when he goes to school. Kids can be cruel,” I whisper to him.

“I understand, however, if I can be honest. Thrax is a part of Max, and I agree he needs not to talk to him in front of people, but completely ignoring it may have the opposite effect than you are hoping for. Look, don’t take this the wrong way, you are a fantastic mammy, amazing actually. Just I have experience with this myself. Let’s just say he takes after his dad in this area,” he smiles at me.

“Yeah, you said. Ares was his name,” I smile. Just then I see Max’s eyes flash silver again. Wow, how is that even possible. It is almost like a whole other person is looking at me.

I let out a long breath, not sure what to think about his advice or the strange feeling I get when I see that silver flashing in his eyes. Maybe I should listen to Mars’s advice, but I cannot deny, I feel a little prickly that he has given it.

“I am doing my best,” I defend myself.

“I know you are. You are doing fantastic. He is a credit to you. You are amazing, as I have already said,” he smiles, clearly reassuring me.

“DADDY!” Max wakes up with a huge smile on his face.

Mars smiles at me, then walks over to our son and scoops him in his arms and gives him a bear hug.

“Hey, were you tired?” he asked.

“Yeah. Thrax fell asleep as well,” Max yawns.

“Great. Well, your mammy has made us some amazing food,” Mars smiles at him.

“My mammy is the best,” Max declares proudly, making my heart swell inside my chest.

“She certainly is,” Mars says, looking intently at me. Damn, there goes my blush again.

We eat our food, and then I take Max for his shower, getting him into his PJs, he must be exhausted because he is yawning again, and I take him into his bedroom.

“Daddy, can you sing for me again?” Max asks.

“What is the little word, Max?” I remind my son of his manners.

“Please,” Max grins, as Mars chuckles and settles himself on the edge of my son’s bed, looking far too big to be in the room. He proceeds to sing a perfect rendition of ‘Danny Boy’ which once again fills me with emotions, and my eyes sting with tears. Before he is even finished the beautiful song, Max is fast asleep.

I walk over and place a soft kiss on the top of my son’s head, and then both Mars and I head out into the living area, I take a seat as he pulls a bottle of wine out of his bag and grabs a couple of glasses.

“I thought we could have a relax, and maybe that talk we need to have,” Max said.

I blow out a breath and nod my head. I don’t drink much with Max about, but I think I am going to need a glass of wine, maybe two, to get through this conversation.