Chapter 82 A promise
IRA'S POV
“Of all the ways to return to this place,” I mutter under my breath, Sia moving in front of me, trays of watery meat broth in our trays.
The stone steps wind downward into the earth, each step I take feels familiar. There's this sour unease crawling up through my ribs.
The air thickens with damp rot and piss. And swear I perceive despair in the air, it hits me hard because I remember what it once meant.
The first time I breathed it in, my hands were bound, my body shaking, my stomach turning on itself.
I remember crying so bitterly, feeling so hopeless and guilty. I still feel guilty but I'm no longer hopeless.
Now my hands are free, I am not being pushed or dragged or locked away. This is a blessing on its own, one I know I must not waste.
I glance behind me, hearing Chloe's steps come to a stop.
“You good?” I ask, subtly glancing at the guards who have their eyes fixed on us.
“I will uh… take the underground,” she says with a clipped voice. “You two handle the top.”
Sia glances at her with a frown that I know she'd rather have hidden. “But we agreed we'll work together.” Sia says.
“Well I changed my mind and this makes it better for us. At least we get to finish faster. You know, division of labour.” Chloe argues, sighing when Sia just stares disappointedly.
“You ladies better get moving.” A guard scowls, watching us with an owl gaze.
Chloe strides off and I nudge Sia, stirring her gaze of Chloe.
“Always keeping her distance like we carry the plague.” Sia mutters under her breath.
We move from bar to bar, sliding trays through the slots. Most take the food without a word. Some mutter weak thanks. A few stare with empty eyes that make my skin crawl.
The first time I was here, I didn't really notice just how many people were locked in here.
My steps slow when we reach the end of the first row. Mae is there, pressed against the iron like a feral cat. Her thin fingers curl around the bars the second I meet her long awaiting glare.
“You,” she hisses, her voice low and venomous. “Lucky little bitch. You are lucky you missed that night, or I would have gutted you for your disgusting EXISTENCE!” She screams, slamming her palm against the bar. The clang echoes sharp. I do not flinch, but my fingers tighten around the tray.
“Even if I was there that night, Mae,” I say coolly, sliding her portion through the slot. “You would have tried. And you would have failed.”
Her eyes narrow to slits. “Big words for the commander’s pet. One day I'll get another chance…”
A tall shadow falls across the cell, causing Mae to instantly shut her mouth.
Cortis steps between me and the bars, her body acting as a solid wall of protection. She does not touch Mae, she doesn't even look at her.
“Sia,” Cortis says calmly, taking my almost empty tray and handing it over to Sia who struggles to balance it on one hand. “...finish the last three cells. It is not safe for Ira to stand this close with the newer captives agitated.”
Sia raises an eyebrow at me, but she nods and moves on without protest. No servant argues with a senior guard.
The corridor suddenly feels too narrow as Cortis turns to me, her hand settling on my waist. I bite down on my lip, sealing in my words, suddenly unsure of her actions.
Maybe she really is just trying to guide me in the direction she wants me to go and I'm simply reading too much meaning to it.
But then we are twenty feet down the hall and her hand is still on my waist.
“Uh, Cortis, I can walk on my own now, uh… thanks?” I add awkwardly as my thoughts race.
Her arm drops immediately. “I didn't realize I was still holding you. I didn't make you uncomfortable did I?”
“You did actually.” I mutter keeping my gaze calm.
Without another word she opens a plain door into a small office. Unlike Ruel's study, there's no pile of documents on the desk, no scrunched up paper litters the floor, but mostly there's no earthy scent… the one that seems to have my heart in a choke hold ever since we kissed.
The door closes behind us with a soft thud that feels louder than it should.
“Sit,” she says, nodding to the chair.
I do as told, my eyes straying to the door behind me. Cortis leans against her desk with her arms folded loosely, her eyes fixed on me.
“Are you all right?” she asks, her voice sounding much quieter now. “After the woods…. I should have known better than to take you so far from inner patrol lines. I never meant to drop trouble on your head.”
Heat flares in my cheeks as the memory slams into me mercilessly.
Ruel’s body pinning mine to the rough bark,
His palm cracking sharp against my skin,
His fingers thrusting deep and merciless until I broke around him, screaming his name.
And later, the soft grass under my knees, his thick length filling my mouth, his control shattering as he spilled his hot seed down my throat.
A sly smile tugs at my lips before I can stop it.
“I am perfectly fine,” I say, lifting my chin. “Nothing happened that I could not handle.”
Cortis studies my smile, her eyes narrowing slightly as if trying to read the joke she is not part of.
With a single nod she says, “I am glad.” There's silence for a while and then she pushes off the desk and crouches in front of me, bringing us eye level.
I inhale deeply as her hand rests lightly on the arm of the chair, close enough that I feel the warmth coming from her body.
“I find myself noticing you more than I should, Ira.”
I attempt to shift back but am immediately reminded that I'm changed in this chair. My stomach flips.
“I notice how you always slip Catherine an extra piece of food even when supplies are short,” she says with awe in her gaze.
But Cath would grab that extra piece anyway so giving her isn't really that big a deal.
“How you almost always have your head held high, never flinching. How you refuse to be small,”
Where are we going with this, dear goddess?
Her fingers brush the edge of my sleeve. It's a light, almost shy touch but it causes me to pull back.
“I will not crowd you with promises,” she continues, steady yet soft. “I will not demand answers you are not ready to give. But I will keep finding small ways to cross your path. I will keep watching over you, quietly, until the day comes when my hand on your waist feels like something you lean into instead of something you tense against.”
My eyes soften the longer I listen.
“I like you, Ira. And although I thought I could keep away, I know I can't. But please don't flinch when I come near. I'm not going to touch you inappropriately. I just… want to be close to you.”
My throat tightens and I look away first. “I should wait in the corridor,” I say, needing her to move so I can get up. “Sia will finish soon, I don't want her searching for me.”
Cortis rises with a sigh. “Sia knows you are here. She won't be worried.”
Just then three soft knocks sound at the door, perfectly timed and barely a second after, Sia pushes it open, her worried eyes settling in me immediately.
“You seem quite impatient.” Cortis mentions, looking displeased.
“I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say come in.” she says, standing there with both empty trays in one hand.
I stand quickly. “Thank you for checking on me,” I tell Cortis, keeping my tone light. “I'll get going.”
She steps aside, her eyes lingering. “Anytime.”
I waste no time in rushing out, Sia following me quickly after shutting the door. She waits until we are halfway up the stairs before she speaks.
“You two looked awfully cozy in there.”
I huff a breath. “Cozy is not the word.”
She smirks. “Close, then… a bit awkward too.”
I search for a reply and come up empty.
Sia glances sideways. “So… are you and Cortis….?”
“No,” I snap, then soften. “But I think she wants us to be.”
Sia nods slowly. “And do you want that?”
“No.”
She stays quiet for a while.
“Then tell her,” she says. “Straight out. Cortis is fair, but she is also proud. Letting her hope without correction is crueler than a quick cut. You looked ready to bolt the whole time.”
I roll my eyes. “I was fine.”
“Were you?” Sia stops on the landing, turning to me. “Because from where I stood, you looked like someone searching for the fastest polite exit.”
“Whatever, let's go return these trays.”