Chapter 81 Never been more serious
Ruel’s POV
The voices around the long table blur into a low hum. Five maps lay spread out before us, each one having markers, highlighting important points and routes into the east.
I should be listening. I should be calculating risks with them, weighing ambush points, deciding where to strike first.
But I hear nothing. I barely even notice Scarface rearranging the map markers and suggesting his new route.
My gaze drifts easily, across the hall to where a few servants stand against the far wall, waiting to be called on.
Ira is there.
Her head is lowered, her hands clasped in front of her with that perfect posture she has always seemed to have.
The familiar simple blue dress she has on clings to her in ways it never did before. Or maybe I just never let myself notice.
Now I notice everything.
The curve of her neck where I left marks yesterday. The swell of her lower lip that was stretched around my cock, the way her throat worked when she swallowed me down without hesitation.
My cock jerks hard beneath the table, a painful twitch against my leather pants. I shift in my chair, my jaw clenched, forcing my eyes back to the map.
But the memory floods in anyway.
Her on her knees in the grass, sunlight catching in her red hair, those defiant eyes looking up at me as her small hand wrapped around my shaft.
The first slow stroke.
The wet heat of her mouth closing over me, the way she took me deeper than I thought possible, humming low like she was savoring it.
My fingers tangled in her hair.
How easily she'd shattered my control, my legs nearly giving out as I came down her throat with delight.
I just stood there afterward, my chest heaving, staring at her like a fool while she rose calm and steady, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Like she had not just undone me completely.
She'd proven how easy it was…. to make me see stars.
What a mistake.
I never should have let her do it. Never should have let her crawl forward when I stepped back. I should have hauled her up, pinned her again, reminded her who leads… who's in charge.
But I didn’t, because I couldn't. And now she is in my blood.
She haunts my dreams.
Every time I close my eyes I see her there, on her knees with her lips swollen, her needy eyes locked on mine as she takes me apart.
Recently I wake hard and aching with my hand already stroking myself to the memory of her mouth before I even fully awake.
I cannot think when she is near, Can't lead, Can't fucking breathe without wanting to drag her somewhere dark and bury myself inside her cunt, thrusting into her until she screams my name again, and again.
“Commander?” A voice politely calls and I blink, noticing all eyes on me. Including that jerk Scarface.
“Yes,” I respond confidently as though I wasn't just fantasizing about a red-head's pussy.
“What do you think? Is it a good idea or…?”
What? How did we get here? What led to this question?
I blink, thinking of what to say to the silent table.
That's when Elric leans forward smoothly from my left. “It’s a sound plan,” he says. “We could send out a light number of warriors, for quick insertion that is. With ten highly trained spies, we’ll know their supply lines within a week.”
Murmurs of agreement ripple around the table. I nod once, grateful for the save.
“Exactly as Sergeant Elric has said. He will appoint ten spies to be sent out in a week. Their mission will be overseen by him.” I say.
Everyone nods in agreement but someone opposite me drops his head, failing to hide his frown.
I look away from Scarface and continue with the meeting, actively avoiding Ira. The annoying thing is that she doesn't even glance my way once.
The meeting drags on for another twenty minutes. I contribute as much as I can but my gaze keeps finding her again.
When it finally ends, I stride from the hall without a word. Elric follows close behind as I push into my study and slam the door.
I do not sit. How can I?
When she acts like what happened doesn't matter? Like I didn't even exist in that hall and every second that passed was an internal struggle from me so I wouldn't claim her right there and then.
I walk straight to the far wall, gently pressing my forehead to the cool stone, then I close my eyes.
“Ruel,” Elric says quietly. “You sure you don’t need that suppressant? You could barely look away from her the entire meeting.”
I stay silent, breathing slowly as I try hard to force the aching need down.
“Ruel, are you alright?”
“I want her.” The words rip from my throat with raw desire.
Elric stills. “What?”
“I want to fuck her.” I confess, my voice just as dark as my thoughts. “I want her mouth again. I want her cunt wrapped around me until she can’t remember anyone else’s name. I want her eyes only on me. I want her to want me the way I…” I stop, my teeth grinding.
With a groan I push out the last words burning in my chest. “I want her obsessed. I want her ruined for anyone else.”
“Shit, that's…” Elric exhales slowly. “That’s intense, Ruel. You told me days ago you didn’t like her. That you would never take her as your mate. So what changed?”
I turn to face him. His eyes crinkle up at the edges with amusement.
I glare at the desk, keeping my jaw tight. “I still don’t like her,” I say. “And I will never mate with her.”
I step closer.
“But she belongs to me. And I will make damn sure she never forgets it.”
The amusement drains from Elric’s face, his smirk falling completely.
“You can’t be serious, Ruel. That’s not you talking.”
I hold his stare, “I am serious.” I say, meaning every word. “I have never been more serious in my life.”