Chapter 54

My eyes flutter open as I awake from probably the best sleep I have had in so many years. My body felt different than it did most mornings, normally I would wake up and feel stiff and still partially tired because the majority of the night I had spent tossing and turning or just staring up at the ceiling as I wait for the sleep to take over, which it rarely ever does. I’m surprised I have any energy to kill anyone half the time I’m so damn sleep deprived. But this time, I woke up with my body feeling...satisfied. It took me a few seconds to drift awake, a small smile on my lips as I realise I had a decent night’s sleep. It may not seem like much, but it’s a serious achievement believe me. For a split second, I forgot where I was. But as my eyes became clearer and I stretched awake, I feel my hip bump into a hard form next to me. I turn my head and freeze as I remember that I was in Jace’s bed. He was lying on his stomach fast asleep, one arm draped over my stomach. The white sheet was covering both of us now but it still didn’t cover his muscled back and just draped over his ass, exposing the curve of his back which I had a sudden urge to lick. Oh dear god, I need to get out of this bed. I knew we didn’t have sex last night, we didn’t even kiss. It was more about just coming here and having someone to talk to, someone who understood where I was coming from and wouldn’t judge me, apart from some slight teasing which was required anyway. I just wanted someone, and like always he was the person I turned to. I did it years ago and things clearly have not changed. As I though this, my chest started beating frantically as the panic washed over me. I suddenly wished we had sex last night, because that would be easier to deal with than emotions. Just talking to him last night was not what I needed, because it meant I was getting closer to him. I was relying on him like before and I was starting to care for him even more. And we all know where that got me last time. Dumped and betrayed, then turned into the ‘bit on the side’. Not the road I want to take this time I can say that for sure. I had to detach myself from him; I had to get away before I got sucked in again. I couldn’t let my guard down especially not in the life I lead. I had to be disconnected from any type of feelings, I couldn’t sit here and rely on this boy that I longed for, but in the long run would probably just break my heart. Again. I turned and looked at the clock. 4:27am I needed to do something that took my mind off Jace. Something that I did before Jace came crashing back in my life, something that meant nothing. I couldn’t have things that meant something. That is just too much hassle. And I knew exactly what I had to do to take my mind off this. Or better yet, who I had to do. And lucky for me, he was asleep a few rooms down the hallway. How handy it is to have your own personal no strings attached fuck buddy/friend a few feet away from you at a time like this. I could see it was still dark out from the slight gap in the curtain, and I knew if I snuck into his room now he would be sleeping. But knowing him, as soon as he got a whiff of what I was coming into his room for, he would be bolted awake and naked before I had a chance to say ‘rise and shine its boning time’. Jesus, I sound like a guy. I turned my head to Jace, beating down the part of me that was longing, screaming to stay in bed and curl up next to him like I wanted to. I couldn’t stay here the night. Staying here would mean feelings. Me and feelings do not mix well. I grabbed his wrist that was draped over my stomach, and slowly lifted it and placed it on the bed inbetween us, silently pulling the sheet off of me and beginning to climb out of bed so quietly I honestly felt like a ninja. I was soon on my feet, and as hard as I tried I couldn’t help but lean over and place a small kiss on his forehead as he slept. He looked so freaking peaceful and cute. And hot, most definitely hot. I shook my head to get back to my normal senses, and turned to walk out of the room. I had to get out of there and take my mind off everything. I didn’t knock on his door when I reached it and slipped into his room, closing it quietly behind me. I looked over at the double bed in the middle of the room, his figure sprawled out over the bed like a slob. The sheet was draped over his waist, and I could see the only thing he was wearing was a pair of boxers. I had to bite back a laugh as he suddenly jolted in bed, a loud grunt coming out of his mouth. He then mumbled something to himself before nestling his head back on the pillow and continuing his sleep. I walked over to the bed and took the sheet that was covering his body away, knowing it would just get in the way later. I saw him shudder slightly in his sleep from the sudden chilliness, but I knew he would be sweating pretty soon so I didn’t feel that guilty. I lifted my knee onto the mattress as I crawled onto the bed, straddling his hips and running my hands up his bare chest, lowering my head so my lips were at his neck, nibbling slightly. I guess the groping people while they sleep joke was no longer a joke. I bit down slightly, sucking at his neck. He moaned in his sleep, and I realised I had to up my game if I was going to get him to wake up. I kissed along his neck, moving down his stomach and slowly licked the lines of his abs. As my tongue continued to trace his stomach muscles, my hips rolled slightly grinding against the part of him that was definitely awake now. Talk about rise and shine. “Now this is probably the best wakeup call I’ve ever had in my life.” He muttered, his tone still slightly hoarse as he has just woke up. I smiled as I kissed back up his stomach, my face now hovering above his. He rubbed his eyes slightly, before he met my eyes with a sly grin on his face. “Better than the alarm clock?” I tease, moving my hips slightly and feeling the further hardening against me. “The alarm clocks never given me a hard on, so yes I would say you win that one.” He replied, and the smirk on my face widened as I bit my bottom lip, lowering my head and placing my lips on his.