Chapter 53

“Jace why are you so sure of yourself that the old me is still in here? All you’ve seen me do it take life after life without batting an eye lid. I decapitated someone in your living room and the only thought that flashed through my head was ‘how the fuck am I going to get the blood stains off my top?’.” I almost yell at him, getting increasingly frustrated that the boy in front of me was trying to dig up the past, trying to pull the old me back up when I was fighting so hard to keep her buried. “You have absolute no proof that the old Faith is anywhere in here!” My stare bore into him intently as I waited for his reply, and to my surprise a smug smile appears on his face as his eyes scan me over. He pushes himself off the headboard, leaning the top half of his body closer to me so his face was inches from mine, his hand beginning to caress up my bare leg. My skin tingled as his hand ran over it, going further up until he was gripping a fistful of the fabric I was wearing. His lip twitched “You’re wearing the proof sweetheart.” My eyes fur in confusion, and the closeness of his face to mine was extremely distracting especially when I was trying to figure out his words. I felt him tug the handful of hoodie he was grip-- Oh fuck, I was still wearing the hoodie. I closed my eyes and sighed at my mistake. I was so busy earlier convincing myself to not come to Jace’s room, I had completely forgotten about what I was wearing. “That’s not proof.” I breathe my excuse as weak as my voice right now. He took the zipper of the hoodie and began zipping it down slowly, the smug smile still at his lips. “So the fact that you kept my hoodie for 3 years and that you clearly still wear it to this day is not proof that the old you is under that tough little exterior of yours?” he asks rhetorically, because let’s face it there was no way I could get out of this. I swallowed hard as he unzipped the hoodie, sliding his hand under the material and around my lower back, pulling me forward so that our faces were even closer than before, his breath making mine pick up slightly. “You act like you don’t give a shit, but I know you too well. I’ve always known you too well.” He breathed as he trailed his lips along my jaw, my head tilting back slightly as his lips begin to kiss my throat. “How do you even know it’s yours? I could have just brought it?” Again, a weak excuse on my part and it came out hoarse anyway. He laughed against my neck, the vibration of it causing me to close my eyes. He pulls away so his eyes are connected with mine “Because I remember the last day I saw you, you were wearing that hoodie.” “You remember that?” I asked in disbelief. His face turns hard suddenly, before guilt flashes through his eyes “I remember everything about that day.” There is a silence around the room as the meaning of his words sinks in. He can remember everything, including the rejection at Dylan’s party. Was that why he felt guilty then? The sudden memories snapped me back to reality, and I pulled back slightly from the arm he had wrapped around me. He looked disappointed, but I could see the understanding in his face. I couldn’t sleep with him, not tonight. “Why did you keep it?” His voice breaks the silence. It takes me a few seconds to realise he is talking about the hoodie. I pull the sleeve up so it covers most of my hands, something I did all the time while I wore this hoodie for some reason. “When I was kidnapped, I was wearing this hoodie and they let me keep it. I wasn’t allowed to get any of my stuff and everything from my old life got left behind.” I explained “The hoodie was the only thing I had left, and it not only reminded me of my old life but it reminded me of you.” His face softened and a small proud smile tugged at his lips. “After what happened the last time we seen each other, I'm surprised you didn’t burn it or do voodoo with it to be honest.” I burst out laughing, the sound catching him off guard obviously by the surprised grin on his face at my reaction. “I did debate on getting a he-witch to work some spell with it in order for you to get the clap.” His lip twitched “And you decided against it because you felt bad?” “No, I figured you probably had it already.” I shrug jokingly, and a grin appears on his lips as he nudges me slightly with his leg at my comment. I smile at the teasing, before we get back to the serious subject. “The hoodie was the only way I felt like the old me. As stupid as it sounds” "Its not stupid." He stares at me for a second, his curious expression boring into me like he was trying to look further, look at every emotion I could ever feel. “What happened in the club earlier Faith, I meant it.” I didn’t reply, still not believing it fully. I may care for the boy, but I will never forget what he did to me or how he hurt me. He continued after I didn’t reply. “I have always cared about you, and I always will. Even though you’re an OCD freak who likes to punch me in the face.” A smile escaped my lips. Our eyes bore into each other for a while and without saying a word I push his body indicating for him to budge up. He quickly does as I wish and scoots over, allowing enough space on the bed for me to curl up next to him, my head on his shoulder and his arm around my shoulders holding me close to him. “Is it okay if I just stay here a while?” I ask, my voice coming out so low and vulnerable it would make me cringe on another day. But right now, I didn’t care. I needed to let this guard slip, even if it was for the briefest minute I had to feel something...any type of emotion. I had to somehow remind myself that I wasn’t dead. I felt him kiss the top of my hair, before pulling me closer to his body. “You don’t even need to ask sweetheart.” My eyes shut slowly as the comfort of my surrounding sinks in. I felt so safe in his arms and I didn’t need to feel safe in anyone’s arms. I was a freaking assassin; I didn’t need anyone else to make me feel safe. But I was so comfortable in his arms; I didn’t even care about my pride right now. Sleep begins to take over when I heard Jace’s voice again. “I know touching people up in their sleep is your hobby, but I can’t make any promises I won’t try it out while you nap.” A smile appears on my face as my eyes begin to close. I fall asleep easily for the first time in 3 years. ..