Chapter 13: Thirteen

Karina’s POV

It felt like time slowed down when his hand touched me. He mumbled a couple of understandable words, then hurried off.

After he left, I felt exposed

Not physically. But emotionally.

The room felt like something had been taken out of it. Something that made it feel hard to breathe.

I lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sound of the clinic; it was calm.

I listened to the sound of distant footsteps. Quiet voices and the occasional rustle of fabric as someone moved past the door.

I could feel my arms throbbing still; whatever the doctor gave me for pain meds was starting to wear off.

Despite the pain from my arms increasing ever second, all my brain seemed to be able to focus on was kole.

And the moment we just shared. It wasn't exactly a moment, though.

It felt strange, like it was something I wasn't supposed to trespass on.

I turned as much as the bed allowed me. When kole had brushed against my leg, it still felt warm. My fingers brushed the edge of it unconsciously.

There had been something in that touch. Something my brain hadn't yet updated me on. Yet my wolf stirring within me told a different story. This wasn't just something casual, and it wasn't something I could brush under the rug, even if I tried.

I exhaled slowly.

“What was that…” I whispered to myself.

I wished it were something I imagined, but I know I didn’t imagine it.

I remembered the way my skin had reacted, the way his hand paused, the way his expression changed like he’d felt something he didn’t want to name.

My stomach turned slightly.

A thought formed in my mind, as much as I didn't want to entertain it, I still did.

Did he feel it too?

I stared at the spot he touched.

I felt strange thinking about it. It wasn't fear nor happiness; it was something dancing between, dangerously.

It was something more confusing than both.

I shifted in bed again. I was becoming restless.

The doctor said I would be kept here for a few days of observation. “Nothing serious,” he said. “Just rest.”

Rest. That was something my brain couldn't seem to do anymore, ever since I left and found myself here. My mind can't seem to settle down.

If I'm being honest, maybe I haven't really known peace for a long time.

Long before I found myself here.

The first day in the clinic passed slowly.

A maid brought food I barely touched. At the same time, another came to check my bandage. Someone else adjusted the curtains when the light got too harsh.

Still no Kole. For some reason, I hoped he would come to check up on me.

At Atleast to show he felt bad for what he did to me.

It's what a decent person would have done. I guess he really didn't care that much.

Why did I expect more from him?

Did I really think that just because I felt something between us, he was suddenly going to change and become Prince Charming?

It was stupid of me to have believed that.

On the second day, I tried to convince myself I was imagining it.

I must have imagined things. maybe I was high on pain meds, and my mind came up with it.

It must have been a shock from the pain. Maybe my brain was trying to get over my fear of him.

My brain must have used a stupid defence mechanism to try to convince me to trust him again.

I wished that believing my words was as easy as saying them, but it wasn't.

Every time I closed my eyes, I remembered that feeling.

So I started doing the only thing I could: every time I remembered his face, I replaced it with the image of him striking me, his sword slicing deep into my arm.

By the third day, I was allowed to sit briefly outside the room.

If I'm being honest, I think this was a little too much from just a simple injury on my arm, but a quick conversation with the doctor helped me realize why I was still here.

Apparently, my body hadn't taken the stress from running away and coming here as lightly, and I was desperately in need of monitoring and bed rest.

The air felt different outside the clinic. I was happy to be away from the smell of antiseptic, pain meds and the sound of my IV dripping.

I walked slowly, careful with my arm, following the path along the side corridor where fewer people passed.

\---

On the fourth day, I was discharged from the clinic.

A guard escorted me back.

Still no Kole.

No message from him. Just radio silence.

It was better this way anyway.

One thing was clear, and it was something I wasn't ever going to let myself forget again.

Kole, as cold as he was to save me and bring me, was nothing but a leader of a rogue pack.

He was strong-hearted, and I was just another pawn on his board.

A chest piece he saw potential in and wants to use to win and get what he wants.

\---

After a few more days of staying in my room, I resumed training. It was simpler this time, though slower, with a warrior assigned to me.

It involved no combat. Just exercise to increase my strength and stamina: every morning and night.

After a few sessions with the trainer, other warriors guided me through basic drills, correcting my stance, telling me where I was too slow, too stiff or too fast to move.

They weren't exactly kind, but atleast they weren't trying to push me beyond what I could handle.

They just treated me like an outsider, like I was a child they were being forced to train and had to take it easy with.

After a few days of training with them, some of the warriors started warming up to me and even started inviting me to have lunch with them during the break.

I knew better than to trust all of them, but I was able to sort between the good and the bad just fine.

I sat on the lawn having lunch with Drake, one of the warriors who had become my friend.

"Why are you always staring there?" He asked, pointing ahead of me.

I looked away immediately. I always assumed no one would notice.

"What are you talking about? I'm not staring anywhere. I zone out sometimes, that's all." I replied casually.

"No, I've been watching you, you're not just zoning out, it's like you keep expecting someone to walk in, I can tell because you look disappointed after some time."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied, got up and walked away.

\---

It was on the sixth day that I saw him again.

It wasn't exactly as I imagined it, not imagined, hoped. It wasn't exactly how I hoped it would be.

I had hoped that eventually he would feel guilty and apologize for not checking on him for so long.

I was walking back from the training grounds when I turned a corner too quickly and stopped.

There he was standing with his hands in his pocket, totally engrossed in conversation, with too men.

They seemed to be deliberating on something important.

I wished I hadn't seen him, but I did, so now I was frozen. Unable to move.

But I did. I'm not sure why I did, I've spent the last few days trying to convince myself that kole was nothing more than a wicked, evil dictator.

I think I stopped because I didn’t understand what I was feeling, and I didn’t like not understanding things.

After a few more minutes, I noticed his body go still as he slowly turned toward me; the smile on his face disappeared immediately.

He looked like my presence enraged him, like I was something he didn't want to see.

Not knowing what to do, I raised my hands up and waved at him. He turned away immediately, ignoring my wave.

I deserved this because I had decided not to have dignity or respect for myself. What had I expected that he would leave his conversation and run towards me to tell me how much he missed me?

After a few minutes of feeling too ashamed to move, I turned away and hurried to my room. Too embarrassed to go for a walk or come out for.

I hurried into my room, slamming the door behind me.

What was my problem? I asked myself.

I paced around the room. I can't afford to lose focus on things like this. Kole was nothing but my mind looking for comfort and a distraction from everything.

These feelings made me weak. And weakness was something I couldn't afford in life, not again.

My weakness had already cost me my life once. I would be stupid to let that happen here.

My fist tightened by my side. Determination rising within me. I was lucky to have gotten a chance to rebuild my life again; I wasn't going to waste it.

I need to get control of my life back, and here I was with the opportunity to rebuild something for myself.

I'm not going to waste it, not this time.

I walked to the mirror and stared at my reflection. I hadn't looked at myself in days. I looked different. Sad, angry.

So I made the decision right there. I was going to forget about whatever it is I felt with kole. I'm going to focus, train harder, walk my way up the ranks, untill I'm strong enough to leave this place.