Chapter 40: Chapter 40
Misty
The exchange continued.
“Thats the thing, Trish, you don’t get the principal, she belongs to me, and I will not be denied,” he snarled. My hand covered my mouth, my heart rate picking up.
Creedon wasn’t a man, he was a monster.
My chair suddenly spun and Beck was looking back at me as he stood before me looking down into my eyes.
“That’s the thing, Misty, the same thing driving him to harm Adelaide, should have been the thing that drove me to protect my mate,” he said sternly, his voice hard.
“You're not like him,” I insisted.
“No, I’m not. Part of the problem is if I had been just a little more like him though, Alley may still be alive.”
“Not like that,” was all I could say. Not being able to fathom comparing the two men.
“Of course not, but had I been a little more obsessed with her instead of pushing her wants and feelings off, she’d still be here. That's how strong the mate bond should be, it drives some shifters crazy, others just seem to flawlessly meld into sync. I neglected my bond, forsook it as if it would always exist and would never need my attention. For that blunder, I paid the ultimate price. I lost Alley. All I can hope for Adelaide, is that she finds a chosen properly devoted to her, so she can survive this by cutting Creedon off. That’s a hope grasping for straws, so in the meantime we need to find a way to keep him away from her, but we also have to protect you and Cricket from those that seek to obtain you. Them winning is not an outcome I can live with, an outcome I couldn’t bear to leave this life with the weight of that failure,” he admitted and it hit me straight in my heart.
This man was so far gone he measured his worth solely on his ability to save women, because he failed her.
“Beck,” I said, my voice cracking.
His dark eyes met mine, they were haunted with the grief of his past and the possibility for failure.
“When do you stop repenting and actually live?” I asked aghast.
“My life belonged to her, every moment spent here is borrowed time. I will make the most of whatever task she places before me until the day I die attempting to rectify the one decision that failed her.”
“You speak as if life has no meaning but to rectify your remorse, for an action you took without the information she chose to keep to herself. I can understand the guilt, the vendetta, but if you think for one second I’m placing my daughter’s future in the hands of a man that stares at death like it's a welcomed release from this life. A man looks at death as a means to resolve the consequences he bares, even though he was young and still learning the things that matter in life, unable to see the things the love of his life kept hidden for reasons you should consider before you damn yourself to the bullshit you have convinced yourself to stand by and give yourself the blame. Think about this for a minute. The opportunities that keep showing up, they aren’t penance, they are opportunities. Wake up, Beck, if she loved you as much as you think she did, you would already be dead. She either wants better for you because she knows you are a stubborn ass, or she never truly loved you to begin with. One thing I learned seeing Adelaide after Creedon, is that your goddess fucking sucks at match making. A feline and a bear? Two animals who prefer solitude, even with their own kind, then stack the odds against them that they will have no anchor because even fucking shifters are racist. I think you need to take a hard look and set down your rose-colored glasses when it comes to the cards you were handed. Stop fighting for everyone else and for once since Alley, fight for your fucking self. Cricket deserves better, and so do you. Your life is still worth living, figure that out and I will let you guide my daughter.” I stood and walked away from him, unable to look at him fully after calling him out. I placed it all in his hands, I just needed him to choose more than his current existence.