Chapter 39: Enough for me
He remained completely still.
Like he didn't know if he should push me away or hood on tighter or even break down in tears.
I would bawl my eyes out at this point though.
“Tessa-” his voice came out low like a warming of a sort but I held on tighter, shutting my eyes like if I let go I wouldn't be able to feel him ever again.
“It is not your fault” I repeated softer this time “you were just a kid”
He clenched his hands to the side.
“You don't get to decide that”
“I do” I shot back “ and I'm also deciding to choose you anyway”
His breathing shifted slightly. Satisfying.
“Tessa you shouldn't–”
“I already did” I cut in “and my deciding remains the same a thousand times over”
His hands moved and I felt it rest on my wrist.
“It's not that easy tessa”
Fuck the way he called my name.
“Then let me learn, let me make mistakes, let me try” I paused “the more I try the easier it gets and who says I'm not Ready for how hard it gets”
He turned suddenly and I tumbled slightly at the speed but his hands were already on me keeping me steady.
His eyes met mine. “I don't want to hurt you tessa, I'm not someone that gets close to people and get to walk away clean”
“Then don't walk away”
“Even when I do good it always turns back at me tessa” he said “Everything went to shit after i tried to fix things . My parents barely speak. My mom…” he hesitated for a second “can’t even look at me properly.”
“I can't bear the thought of doing something similar to you tessa, I just can't”
“Again It was not your fault”
“Ethan doesn't feel the same”
“Fuck ethan”
He shook his head as if he was trying to shun his own thoughts.
“look at me”
He did.
“I love you and that's all that matters right now” I whispered “I love you”
Something about saying those words made me feel like a bird released from its cage after years of captivity and was now finally able to spread its wings and fly.
This was the first time in a very long while I was able to express myself In those three words and the best part?
I was certain I won't regret it.
His forehead gently dropped against mine.
“I love you more” he whispered “I've loved you since I first set my eyes on you”
I wonder when that was.
“I've loved you since you helped me in colouring class when we were kids”
Wait what.
Did he just say when we were kids or am I tripping?
I wore a confused look on my face.
“I've loved you since I saw you on that stage practising lines when no one was watching in freshman year”
What in the confession was going on right now.
“I Loved you even more every minute I tried not to, every time I looked away, every time I pretended you didn't exist, I have loved you desperately”
Ok this was crazy because this moment was starting to look more like a scene from Bridgerton.
“I hated it,” he continued, his grip on me tightening slightly. “I hated how you made me feel… how you could walk into a room and suddenly I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t act right…”
His forehead pressed against mine and my heart literally stopped.
“I hated that I cared.”
He paused
“I’d see you laugh and it’d mess up my entire day because I wasn’t the reason,” he let out a dry breath. “I’d hear your name and everything in me would just—” he stopped, shaking his head.
“—react.”
I stayed quiet, taking it all in like my newest addiction.
“I stayed away because I knew if I got close…” his voice dropped “I wouldn’t be able to leave.”
“Klaus” I whispered and I knew it did something to him.
“And I know I should leave but–”
“You're here” I completed for him.
“Yeah” he admitted “I'm right here and I can't leave”
He stopped and looked, really looked into my eyes.
I could barely steady my feet looking at how insanely attractive he was right now.
Fuck it tessa.
My fingers curled slightly into his shirt and I tilted my head up, heart pounding so loud I was sure he could hear it.
“Then stop fighting it” I whispered.
His hands came up to my face and cupped my already red cheeks. He leaned in and pressed his lips on mine.
It wasn't soft or careful, it was messy.
Like every second he held back came crashing in that moment.
Like he had finally given in and stopped fighting his feelings.
I gasped slightly against his lips, caught off guard by how intense it was—but I didn’t pull away.
I couldn’t.
His other hand slid to my waist, pulling me closer like he was afraid I’d disappear if he didn’t.
I felt everything disappear.
Everything that made him feel like the monster he never was was slowly fading into space and he could feel again.
It was just.
He kissed me like he had nothing left to lose.
Like every wall he built, every reason he held onto was gradually slipping.
Like his disguise Didnt fit anymore.
My fingers tightened in his shirt, holding onto him like if I let go, he’d disappear back into that cold version of himself.
But he didn’t pull away.
His grip on my waist tightened, pulling me impossibly closer.
Like he was saying ‘you're mine and I am not letting you go no matter what’
I had never in my life felt this way before and I wasn't complaining. Sure this isn't how I planned it. I didn't plan to uncover the toughest guy's unspoken childhood trauma and family issue. I didn't plan to declare undying love for the most demanded hottest guy in school but here I was.
This messy And beautiful ass moment I'd trade anything to relive for the second time or over again.
It wasn't perfect but it was enough.
Enough for this.
Enough for me