Chapter 18: Eighteen

SOLANA

"We were fine, Alpha. At least, we were getting there. I enjoy your company more than I thought I ever could. And now... being away from you hurts. Can you not stay…with me?" My voice shook, my eyes brimming with tears.

I had somehow reached my limit, I felt like a dog starved of affection. He just stood there for a while, a blank look on his face. Then he turned towards me.

"You...want me to reject you because you enjoy my company?" He asked, and a lump formed in my throat. If he put it like that...it sounded foolish.

But I wasn't used to expressing my feelings. I always had to endure. And now, I had become just a little greedy. I wanted... I needed to experience more.

"Maybe I've been avoiding you because I can't stand the sight of you. Did that ever cross your mind?" He said, and I curled my shaking hands into fists, my chest constricting.

I searched his eyes. At first, they seemed blank. But then I noticed the way his throat bobbed and the slight furrow in between his brows.

He was clearly fighting himself.

So, I let out a shaky breath and walked up to him.

"You're a terrible liar, Dearest."

He froze, his eyes widening slightly.

"What?" He breathed, looking like he'd just been punched in the balls.

"I said, you suck at lying. It's not that you can't stand the sight of me," my voice cracked, my heart thundering madly.

He blinked. "Then, what do you think?"

"I think...you're afraid. You're afraid of me."

I didn't know what I was doing. Heck, my rationality was clouded by desperation. But I had so much to say.

"Afraid of you?" He arched a brow, the sound of his deep voice sending my pulse flying.

"Yes." My chest heaved.

"You?"

I inched closer, heat spiking in my veins.

"You're afraid of my eyes," I whispered, inching closer. "Of my lips. Of my heart. You're terrified of what I could do to you."

He let out a humorless laugh. "Are you drunk? If not, you're possibly sleep deprived. Go to bed, Solana."

"No," I spat.

"No?"

"If you're so sure you feel nothing for me..." I lifted my chin. "Then prove it. Kiss me."

A dangerous spark ignited deep in his eyes. The air between us was heavily charged at this point. I could smell his scent, and it only made me feel intoxicated.

His gaze dropped to my lips and darted back to my eyes, his irises darkening. "Solana—"

"I dare you," I hissed.

"Fuck," he breathed. Then his lips crashed against mine. He gripped my hair, my bun loosening. When he kissed me, it was raw and violent. Maddening and without restraint.

And goddess, I felt it in my bones. His frustration. His yearning. His anguish.

His lips claimed mine, unrelenting, his grip on my hair surprisingly igniting a fire of arousal inside of me.

I met every brush of his lips with an answer of my own, my hands clutching at his shirt. A guttural groan tore from his throat when I bit his lip, kissing him harder.

By the time we pulled away, we were breathless and disoriented, staring at each other in a deafening silence.

"Say it then. Say you felt nothing. Say I'm no better than that wall," I panted, my voice cracking as I pointed at the far wall of the bedroom.

"Is this really what your little book taught you?" He asked, and heat crept up my neck. My bravado instantly deflated like a ruptured bicycle tire.

When I said nothing, he let out a laugh, raking his hair away from his face.

"I didn't know you were this entertaining, flower. You are truly fascinating," he said, and I tugged at my hair, desperately trying to hide my face from him.

I really wished I could go invisible in that instant.

My husband tsked.

"Eyes on me, Wife," he said, and I slowly looked up at him, peeking through my lashes.

He lightly gripped my chin with his fingers. "The next time you confront someone, don't give in so easily. Stand your ground, understood?"

I nodded slowly, biting my lower lip.

He stared at me for a moment. Then he pulled me into a hug, my eyes bulging in their sockets.

My body relaxed against his. And suddenly, I could breathe again. In that moment, my worries and fears disappeared into the abyss.

I closed my eyes, listening to the erratic beat of his heart. It gave me such satisfaction to know that it was beating that fast because of me.

When he finally pulled away, he led me to the bed and made me sit, his hands on my shoulders.

"Wait for me, okay? Let me freshen up. After that, we can talk," he said, gazing intently at me.

I tried not to grin, but I probably looked like I was having a stroke. "Okay."

I watched him turn away from me, reaching for the buttons on his shirt. Dazed, I lay down on the bed, tracing my lips with my fingers as I watched him take off his shirt, his powerful shoulders flexing.

I was filled with so much warmth and bliss, my eyes were growing heavier by the minute. And by the time he headed into the bathroom, my eyes had slipped closed. I tried to stay awake. I swear I tried. But then, sleep whisked me away.

...

I was wonderfully refreshed. I could hear the chirping sounds of birds outside the window, and my favorite scent was flooding my senses. So I stretched with my eyes still closed. When I opened my eyes, Roman was right there on the bed, his elbow propped on the pillow, his head resting on his palm as he watched me. I froze mid-stretch, smiling awkwardly.

“Morning, hubby,” I said, and he snorted.

“Morning, flower. I guess you were truly sleep deprived,” he commented, and my cheeks went hot.

“This bed is too big to sleep alone in.”

He hummed in response, the corner of his lips curling slightly.

“Noted,” he stated, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

He was such a sight for sore eyes. It was unfair how good he looked this morning.

“When do we begin our lessons?” He suddenly asked. And of course, I froze.

Right, lessons.

I’d forgotten about that somewhere along the yearning and loneliness.

“Will you be traveling again soon?” I asked instead, flustered.

“If I have to, I’ll take you with me.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

He nodded once.

“Now, back to my question. When do we begin?”

He was talking as if this was some innocent lesson. We were literally talking about sex. Yet…

I guess I couldn’t blame him. Honestly, I liked his vibe a lot. The big bad demon alpha who is tragically inexperienced when it comes to handling both emotions and women.

Maybe I could fix him.

“Tonight. We can do it tonight,” I said.

His eyes sparkled, and just as he was about to speak, he stiffened, bringing a hand to his chest.

I sat up slowly, alarmed.

“Alpha?”

His face went pale, and he curled up on his side, his features contorted with pain.

Panic-stricken, I reached for his bicep, flinching when I felt the heat radiating off him.

“What do I do?!” I cried as he let out a groan, a tremor running through him.

“Calm down, it’s not that—” His words died off as he curled tighter on his side, struggling to breathe.

That’s when I ran.

I didn’t even think. My bare feet hit the cold floor, my heart ricocheting in my chest as I bolted for the door. Anna would know what to do. She had to.

Tears pricked my eyes as I hurried to her room. Why did he not tell me he was sick?

Why—

I was just about to make it to her room when I heard approaching footsteps. It was Zamora.

Before I could figure out what was happening, she was standing in front of me, her face a mask of pure fury. Without giving me a warning or explanation, she slapped me across the face, hard.