Chapter 17: Seventeen

ROMAN

She said nothing, awkwardly shifting her weight as I gazed intently at her. My chest tightened, a strange heat igniting deep inside of me. She did not have to say it. It was clear on her face.

How long had she known? Why did she not say anything? If she was my fated mate, this had just complicated everything.

I rarely uttered curse words.

But in this moment, I had the strongest urge to do so.

So, I turned on my heel and left, because distance was a thing I understood and panic was not.

"Damnit!" I hissed, my chest heaving.

I had tried so hard to deceive myself into believing I couldn't get attached to Solana. That she could only be the mother of my child. But if she was my mate...how was I supposed to use her as a sacrifice?

And worse...mate bonds were considered an abomination in my pack. An alpha can only have a chosen mate. Not a fated mate.

"Alpha," I looked up at the sound of Elder Maeve's voice. She seemed to be uneasy.

"I was just coming to see you," she said.

Elder Maeve was more of a rigid traditionalist. And if she knew that Solana was my fated mate, she would try by all means to make sure I'm aware of the consequences.

"If this is about Solana, I would rather not talk about it. Everyone is forbidden from speaking of it, do you understand?" I asked.

She opened her mouth, possibly to argue. But when I narrowed my eyes at her, she lowered her head and nodded.

I stormed past her, curling my hands into fists. By the time I got to my study, my pulse was pounding frantically in my ears.

I stood there in the center of the room, staring at the wall. Right then, I was suddenly struck by a mortifying realization.

Solana had infected me.

I was not uneasy because of what her being my fated mate would do to me. But I was worried about her. I frowned, puzzled.

I hadn't known her for long. Yet... I felt this strongly for her?

There was a small knock on the door. I turned, narrowing my eyes at the door.

"It's me, Solana."

The instant I heard her voice, every cell in my body reacted. They literally sang for her.

No.

This wasn't good.

Struck by a sudden urgency, I turned away, rubbing my forehead.

"Get lost," I growled. I froze when I heard her whimper. Wait...did I imagine it or not?

I listened closely, waiting for her to make a sound. But all I heard was the frantic beat of her heart.

"Did you not hear me?" I demanded coldly, a slight tremor in my voice.

When she retreated, my insides rioted instantly. I had an inexplicable urge to throw up.

...

In a few days, I'd become a coward. I avoided Solana ninety-nine percent of the time. And for the measly one percent, I had peeked at her and her friend laughing in the garden. I stayed out till very late at night to make sure I didn't accidentally run into her. I ignored her many visits to my study, going as far as rejecting the meals she prepared for me.

"Alpha, I really didn't want to say this, but you're a jerk," Hawke said to me as we headed towards the house. I'd traveled to New Orleans, where my main office was located, and was just returning home for the first time in weeks.

It was ridiculous, really.

I had a fully functional home in New Orleans. Before Solana, I stayed there all the time. And yet, here I was referring to this place as my home. If there was anyone more confused than I was, the right thing for them would be to get help at a mental facility.

"Why? Did I mistreat you?" I asked, and he sighed, shaking his head.

"My poor Luna must be so lonely. You left her on her own. You didn't even give her a phone she can reach you with. I don't know what she did, but this is just too cruel."

His Luna?

Why was I more bothered by him calling her his Luna?

I frowned, striding faster towards the house. Hawke kept up easily, a constant reminder that silence was a luxury I rarely got to enjoy.

"And speaking of things you're avoiding, I should remind you that you need an heir soon."

I stiffened, my movements coming to a halt.

He folded his arms. "I said, heir. You know…child, legacy, continuity, someone to inherit all this brooding dominance you've got going on. Solana can't exactly get pregnant if the air she breathes is venomous to you."

I blinked. "Venomous?"

"Well, yeah. The way you bolt out of a room whenever she walks in. Pretty sure the air itself is toxic."

"That is a gross exaggeration."

"Is it?" Hawke raised a brow. "You practically threw yourself out a window when she asked if you wanted more tea."

"I did not throw myself out of a window."

"You climbed out through it, Alpha. We all saw you."

I inhaled, very slowly, summoning every ounce of dignity I had left. "It was a balcony door, Hawke. A balcony door."

He grinned. "Sure, boss."

I resumed walking, ignoring his laughter.

Yet, as ridiculous as his words were, they lodged themselves somewhere deep in my chest.

An heir. Solana. Air that felt like poison.

If this continued, I wasn't sure which would kill me first. The curse or my own restraint.

The house was quiet when we stepped inside. Then I saw her.

Solana was curled up on the couch, fast asleep. A book rested in her lap, its spine bent, its title bold enough to mock me from across the room.

‘How to Appease Your Husband.’

For a moment, I simply stood there, unable to breathe.

The words hit me like an open-handed slap, the kind that doesn't bruise skin but bruises pride.

I swallowed hard, unsure which stung more. The fact that she'd waited for me or that she believed she had to appease me.

Hawke, mercifully oblivious to my inner collapse, took my travel bag from my hand and muttered, "I'll take this to your room."

I didn't respond. Couldn't. My gaze refused to leave her. Her face was soft and relaxed while she slept, and yet the faint puffiness around her eyes betrayed her exhaustion. She must have waited until sleep defeated her.

I exhaled slowly, my throat tight. There was something about the way she clutched that ridiculous book that rooted me to the spot.

Before I could stop myself, I moved closer. One slow, cautious movement at a time.

When I reached her, I knelt—yes, knelt—beside the couch. My hand hovered uncertainly over her hair as if her warmth might just burn me.

"Of all the things to read," I murmured under my breath, "you chose this."

Hawke reappeared at the doorway, freezing mid-step. "Are you going to wake her up?"

"No." I straightened my spine, clearing my throat. "She'll catch a cold if she sleeps here."

He raised a brow, smirking faintly. "Sure, that's why."

I ignored him.

Carefully, I slid one arm beneath her knees and another around her shoulders. She stirred slightly but didn't wake up, her head dropping against my chest. The sound of her slow breathing was the only thing keeping me from falling apart entirely.

Her scent wrapped around me. It was comforting, yet dangerous.

With my jaw clenched, I rose to my feet, holding her close.

Hawke watched silently, his earlier grin fading into something unreadable.

I didn't meet his gaze. I simply headed down the hallway as he opened the door.

When I lowered Solana to the bed, she opened her eyes, her tired gaze fixed on me.

"Dearest, you're back," she said, and I turned away from her, my heart racing merely from the sound of her gentle voice.

I couldn't do it.

Couldn't stay with her for another second without feeling like I was losing control. So, I headed for the door. But then she uttered words that froze me in place.

"Reject me!" She blurted out.

Slowly, I turned towards her in disbelief.  "What?"

"If the bond offends you that much, reject me. I can take it. All I ask is for you not to hate me."

How could she so easily ask for rejection?