Chapter 109: Sixty three

Chapter sixty three

“Well, I trusted him!” Jonah yelled. “I was honest with him about how I felt about you, and he told me that he was going to get a feel for whether or not you were ready to be in a relationship with someone. He told me he was going to do that and he ends up getting with you himself. Which I should have expected. I should have known this was going to happen.”

“Are we in high school?” I asked, unable to believe what I was hearing. “You asked him to find out for you if I was interested in dating? Whywouldn’t you just ask me yourself? Don’t you think if someone doesn’t have the guts to do it themselves, then maybe they don’t deserve it?”

“I’m not saying I’d do it the same way if I could go back,” he said, scowling. “I just felt so caught up in it, and I liked you so much that I didn’t want to mess things up. I knew all the shit that you were going through with Adam, and I didn’t want to scare you off. And he told me that he talked to you and you weren’t ready to see anyone, so I just backed off.”

“And then you found out that we were seeing each other and you decided to leak private information? I can’t believe this. Does Ian know?”

“No.”I took a deep breath. I didn’t know what to say; the whole thing was kind of hard to believe. “I think you should go, Jonah. I really don’t even know what else to say. I mean, I don’t work there anymore, I don’t have anything to do with the company. But regardless, it seems like it’s pretty messed up to go behind your friend’s back and do something like that. I don’t actually think I could go out with someone who would be willing to do that.”

“I understand,” he said. “I honestly wasn’t expecting that you’d say otherwise. But I wanted to tell you. And now since I’ve told you . . . I guess I’ll just go.”

“I think that would be best.” He paused, like there was something else he wanted to tell me, but then thought better of it.

After he left, I called Clara. “I’m starving, and I need to talk,” I said. “Want to meet for breakfast? Somewhere cheap.”

“Sure,” she said. “How about Ella’s Diner? Is everything okay?”

“The diner sounds good, and I’ll tell you when I see you,” I said.

At the diner, I slid across the smooth turquoise vinyl booth across from Clara. The waitress came over right away, and I accepted her offer of a cup of coffee and then ordered a Belgian waffle and a side of scrambled eggs.

“So what’s going on?” Clara asked.

“There has been so much messed up stuff happening I don’t even know where to begin. Jonah had just stopped by before I called you.”

“Jonah? Really?”

“Yeah. He came over to let me know that the whole reason I basically got hired there in the first place was because he liked me. But he didn’t say anything about it because he’d asked Ian to find out if I was interested in dating anyone, or if I wasn’t ready for something like that because of Adam.”

“Wow,” Clara said. “Looks like Ian took that one a little too far.”

“You don’t think that’s a little bit . . . I don’t know, lame? I would’ve had more respect for him if he had just been upfront himself about it.”

“Well, yeah,” Clara said, peeling the top off a little container of half and half. “He should have grown a pair and told you himself. I guess it’s a little bit cute, but in a juvenile sort of way, that he couldn’t tell you himself.”

“Right,” I said. “I think he thought I was going to be happy about that, or think that it made him this upstanding sort of person or something, but really, the whole thing is stupid.” I shook my head. “It’s crazy. Suddenly everyone is confessing their love for me. Whose life is this?”

Clara laughed. “Most women would be dying to be in your position, you know.”

“Well, I’m not. It’s not as much funas it might sound like. It’s really weird, if you want to know the truth.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t know,” she said. “I’ve never had five guys drooling over me at the same time.”

“It’s not five,” I said. “But I’m not even used to having one. I used to feel like I was pretty much invisible to guys before all of this.”

“Obviously not,” she said. “You’ve had a stalker, you’ve got a guy whose parents are trying to arrange a marriage, you’ve got guy from the gym who’s getting you a job at his company because he has a secret crush on you, and then you’ve got . . . Luke. I don’t even know what to say about him.”

“He’s the one that I really felt like I had the connection with, though,” I said. “Out of all of them. And Billy and Jonah are both so nice. Well, Billy is. I didn’t tell you the other part of what Jonah told me.”

Clara’s eyes widened. “What?”

“There was a leak with one of Though Off's bigger clients, this banker whose brother and niece, I think it was, are famous actors, and it got out. It was supposed to be kept quiet so there wouldn’t be a bunch of media there, but the information got out and it was kind of a huge disaster, even though everything ended up working out. And Jonah told me that it was him. He was the one who had done it.”

“Why? Why would he do that? He works there too.”

“He was pissed at Luke.”“Wow,” she said. “This apparently goes deeper than I thought. So . . . how did you leave it with him?”

“I eventually told him that he needed to go because I didn’t know what to say. And I still don’t really know what to say about this whole thing. Part of me just wants to pack up what little shit I have and move somewhere like Seattle or something.”

“I’d miss you,” Clara said. “But I would totally support you doing something like that. And I’ve always wanted to visit Seattle!”

Our waitress came over with our plates then, and I leaned back as she slid it in front of me.

“Thanks,” I said.

She smiled. She was older than us ,probably in her mid-forties, her curly brown hair streaked with gray. “Now, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she said, “but it sounds like you’ve got men interested in you left and right, honey. Believe it or not—when I was your age, I used to have the same problem. It can be flattering at first, but eventually, it gets tiresome. You love any of these men?”

“No,” I said. I thought of Luke. “Maybe.”

“Any of them love you?”

“I don’t know.”

“If you love one of these men—and especially if one of them loves you back—that’s not something to be ignored. I ignored it, and I missed out. Biggest regret of my life.” She patted my shoulder. “Enjoy your meal, honey.”

“Is that ‘maybe’ in reference to Luke?” Clara asked skeptically.

“Yes,” I said. “But maybe it’s not love; I don’t know. Maybe it’s just lust or sexual chemistry.”

“You do seem pretty hung up on him,” she said.

I spread the pat of butter across the waffle and then drenched it with syrup. “He broke up with me because he felt like he had to, not because he wanted to. I don’t know if I would’ve done the same thing in his position, but there is a part of me that at least wants to talk to him again.”

Clara nodded. “Maybe you should,” she said reluctantly.

I waited until later that day, and then I texted him. I told him that I wanted to talk, and he said he’d come by because he wasn’t too far from my place. I had thought that he’d refuse altogether, but I took it as a good sign that he seemed willing.