Chapter 13: Brainwashed

Ruelle’s POV

I paced my room with my finger hooking in my teeth, my mind going a hundred miles per second. Frustration bubbled in my veins and made me want to scream.

I didn’t want to go with Thorne. But it was more about proving I could make my decisions for myself instead of just going along with what every other person thinks I should do. I knew I couldn’t get out of this one though, not when Papa had agreed already.

I paced my room so much that my legs began to hurt. I doubled over and rested my hands on my knees at the same time the door to my bedroom flew open.

“You’re not trying to get yourself crippled are you?”  My Mama’s voice echoed in my room from behind me.

I turned around with a gasp, more happy to see her than I have ever been in my life. I was convinced that if I could explain the situation to my Mama she would take my side and if she takes mine, Papa will have no choice but to do what she says.

“Mama…”. I trailed off, my mind searching for what to say. She sat on my bed and looked up at me, expecting. I quietly took the space beside her, my hands resting on my lap.

“Are you supposed to be up by now? How do you feel?”  She caressed my curls with her fingers.

“I had to speak to Papa. About…” I side-eyed her, waiting for her to get the hint of what I’m talking about.

“About what?”

“Thorne. He wants me to leave with him”. My words were met with silence. She looked away and I stared at her, watching slowly as the realization seeped through her features. Of course she knew.

“Oh…”. Her hand drops to her lap. “I didn’t think it was this soon.”  She uses her eyes to study my face. “Do you not want to go with him?”

I shake my head. Mama knew about the Iron Alpha wanting to take me with him which means she agreed to it too. I didn’t know decisions were made on my behalf now. It made me want to scream.

“No Mama”. I decided that my anger about the fact that she also agreed to it without telling me could wait. Right now, I needed her help in making sure I don’t leave with him.

“But… why?”  She shifted to face me, her brows scrunched in worry. “The Alpha is interested in you, and he worries for you, little moon. Does he make you uncomfortable?”

“No it’s just…”

“He explained already that the woman he came to the gathering with was an old friend.”

An old friend huh?

“He seems really interested in you, little moon. I thought you shared the same interest”. She continues

“Well Mama you would have known if I felt the same way or not had you just asked me. Why are decisions being made for me without my knowledge. This is my life, isn’t it?”  My hands flew to my chest, my voice an octave higher. I was getting riled up just thinking about it.

Mama was silent, her face set in a frown as though she was deep in thought. It seemed she was genuinely surprised that I didn’t want to go with Thorne, considering he was every woman’s dream according to them.

“So you don’t want to go with him?”  She finally asks.

“I would like to be in charge of my own decisions from now on”.

A moment of silence loomed, both of us lost in thought. Mama stood and rested her hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay. I’ll speak with your father.”

I watched her leave, a part of my mind telling me to call her back and tell her not to say a word. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, I fell back unto my bed, my arms spread on either side of me. I was almost certain that Mama would help me stay. Almost because Thorne already managed to convince Papa so I was sure he could easily do it again. But mostly, I didn’t know if not going with Thorne was really what I wanted. I just wanted to prove a point.

A small knock sounded on my door before it was pushed open. Morra walked in, a tray with a covered silverware in her hand. I barely had any appetite, but I knew I needed to feed my wolf.

“How do you feel my lady?”  Morra asked, setting the tray on the bedside drawer and taking a seat next to me.

“I’m fine”. I told her simply, my eyes not leaving the ceiling.

“I heard what happened…”. She started, her hands fondling each other in her lap. Of course she heard. She always does. I sit up with a light wince. All the activities of the morning are finally catching up with me.

“Are you also here to tell me that I should be happy He wants to leave with me? Because that is not what I want to hear right now, Morra.”  She shakes her head even before I am done speaking, her hands shaking in front of her.

“Oh not at all my lady, it’s just… you felt it too didn’t you?”

I turn to stare at her, a frown on my face. She goes on. “I mean, I saw how you reacted to him in the woods I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but after you sent me away I came back and saw you two together. That feeling you got… are you just going to ignore it?”

Of course not. I couldn’t ignore how I felt around Thorne even if I tried my hardest. “I’m not trying to ignore it, Morra.”  I shake my head, my mind looking for what to say.

“Then why don’t you want to leave with him? You waited for him, didn’t step foot in the forest since the day he left…”. She took a deep pause, tilting her head to stare at me. “Are you perhaps confused, my Lady?”

“I’m not confused. I’m—”

“Upset, maybe?”  She raised a brow and I scowled.

“Well since you know every fucking thing… what is the point in all these? He clearly ignored our attraction when he brought someone to the Gathering knowing fully well I was waiting for him”

“Have you asked him about it?”

“Why should I?!”  I snapped, causing Morra to flinch back. I immediately collected myself and offered her an apologetic smile. She shook her head, dismissing it.

“Because he is your mate, my lady. That is the fact that remains. Whether you agree to leave with him or not, he is the only wolf that will have your heart.”  She smiled, those hopeful smiles that shows her fairytale thoughts. “He cares so much for you, it’s nice to see”

I side-eyed her. “How would you know?”

“I saw it the day you were attacked. He seemed so worried and insisted on making sure you were okay.”

I looked away and turned my attention to the mirror that was opposite us on the wall. My reflection was a mess. My hair was all over the place, my skin dull and pale. I decided not to state yet again that it was his fault I was attacked in the first place, because even I was tired of hearing it at this point.

“Will you change your mind?” Morra asked for good measure, her expectant face glistening in the mirror. She is my handshade but I never once doubted her beauty. With her dark shiny hair and light brown skin, she was easily one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?”  I ran my hands through my curls, coming back to the matter at hand. “I already told Mama about it and you know whatever she says is final”

“That’s not true.”  She countered almost immediately, her eyes unwavering. “What you decide is final”

A knock echoes in the room just then, pulling both our attention to the door. Morra turns to give me a look before rushing to pull the door open. Thorne emerges from behind it, causing my breath to pick up speed and my heart to bang against my ribcage. This is exactly what Morra was talking about. The feeling that I can never ignore. I am currently fighting to make sure I don’t leave with the man my body screams for whenever he is near, even when he is not.

Especially when he is not.

He walks into the room without acknowledging Morra, staring at me with that passive look he always has on. I give Morra a look and she nods before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

I turn my attention back to the mirror as soon as she leaves, already knowing what has brought the Black Wolf to my room.

He no longer has my parents on his side.

I wait for him to speak but he doesn’t. He just stares at me while I pretend not to care that he is standing only a few feet away from me. The goosebumps spreading all over my scalp and the weight in my breathing gives me away, but if he notices it, he doesn’t mention it.

“You will have to come with me eventually, Ruelle. If not now, next time I come here, you have to come with me. And if you don’t then there is always a next time. But know, you will end up coming with me, even if I have to drag you with me.”

“Well I don’t see a situation arising where you have to drag me around like a piece of wood. If you want me to come with you then make me comfortable enough to do that.”  I don’t remove my eyes from the mirror, my fingers still playing with my curls even though my mind is in a far away place.

“You will come willingly with me. You can’t deny the bond anyway.”

I turn to him with a glare, my hands falling violently to the bed. “Don’t use the bond to threaten me, Thorne. It doesn’t exactly help your cause. Are you trying to drag me all the way to the south so I can suffer?” The sarcasm is rooted deep in my tone, in the slight tilt of my head and the smirk pulling at my lips. Thorne has an amused look on his face, like my words make him want to laugh, but he doesn’t.

“You know that I will never make you suffer, little moon”. He smirks, looking at me with slightly squinted eyes. “As a matter of fact, you know as well that coming with me is exactly what you need to do to fulfill your end of the mate bond promise. You can’t escape it and you know it. I care for you, and I will make you happy but I don’t need to be telling you all this because you already know”

‘The only thing I know is that you claim to be mine but you aren’t’. The thought resounds in my head but I refrain from saying it, my hands going back to my hair. Thorne sighs, his head hanging between his shoulders.

“Is that what you really think?”  He asks. I turn to stare at him in confusion, about to ask what he meant but that is when it occurs to me that I had thought out loud. I don’t even remember saying it. But it is no news that my body has a mind of her own around this man. My wolf is at it again.

I look down at my lap, my lower lip settled between my teeth. No point denying it now, I might as well man up and face the truth. At my silence, Thorne walks closer to the bed and takes a sit beside me, his hands resting on his thighs.

“You have nothing to worry about.”  Is all he says. I let the silence stretch out, waiting for him to continue. I frown when I realize that is all he is going to say. I look at him, bewildered.

With a huff, I stand from the bed, about to stomp out of the room when a sharp pain explodes in my lower back, causing me to double over with a wince. Thorne stands up immediately next to me, his hand finding my back and rubbing soothingly up and down.

“Go lay down”. He says. I glare at him with my side eyes, but sit back down on the bed anyway. I don’t want to do what he tells me to do but my body clearly needs the rest. I have been all over the place all morning. I slowly scoot up the bed till my head touches the headboard and he pulls the covers away so I can get under, covering me all the way up to my chest when I’m settled. I almost roll my eyes at how small I feel by his gesture. He squats beside the bed, his fingers folded on the space next to my arm.

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear right now but I promise you I will eventually.”  He rumbles, his eyes fixed on his hands.

What could it be that he can’t just say now? Who is that woman to him and why does she hold this much importance? Without waiting for my response, he exhales sharply and looks up, finding my eyes. “So you’re coming with me, Ruelle”

“Are you commanding me still?”  My light voice betrays how tired I feel. He raises a brow, giving me a long look before responding,

“Will you please come with me, my little silver mate?”

That’s more like it.

I shrug one of my shoulders, my lips spread in a wide smile. “Let me think about it”