Chapter 13: Unspoken thoughts

The next morning, Thalia burst into my room bright-eyed and sanguine with a certain sparkling excitement. "Time for that shopping trip I promised," she declared without asking entrance.

I blinked, half-asleep but alert enough to catch the little black card she held up between her fingers.

"What's that?" I asked.

Grayson's black card," she said with a smile. "He told me to make sure you got whatever you wanted. No limits."

My breath hitched. To think that he'd entrust his sister with something as personal as this, entrusting me to get whatever I wanted,it was too much for my chest as it tightened up in a manner that I couldn't quite grasp.

"I don't need anything over-the-top," I muttered, looking down at my hands.

That's not the point," Thalia said, drawing me gently to my feet. "Come on, let's get you ready. You'll feel better with some fresh air, I promise."

We both had breakfast in my room, then we headed out. The drive into town was a quiet one, passing through rolling hills and tall trees. Thalia kept the conversation light, sharing small stories about the pack and her childhood with Grayson.

The town itself was charming, with cobblestone streets and boutique shops lining either side. Thalia took me from one store to another, urging me to try on clothes and pointing out items she thought I’d like.

“You have to at least humor me,” she teased, holding up a flowing cream-colored dress.

I let her pile things into my arms, and most of them actually fit, which was a miracle and I could feel my wolf actually purring in agreement as I admired myself in the mirror.

Then, in one of the stores, a single book on a shelf really caught my eye. It showed the silhouette of a lonely wolf on the background of a waxing moon. Something about the book just called to me; before I knew it, it was clutched tightly in my hands.

"Do you want it?" Thalia asked, eyes watchful.

I did but I was a little reluctant to say so. I forced my head to nod in assent.

She smiled knowingly, adding it to the growing collection of items we were buying.

When we returned to the pack house, the sun was high in the sky, casting warm rays over the grounds. I carried my bags up to my room, placing them neatly in a corner before looking around.

Something felt… different. Or rather, someone.

I hadn't felt Grayson's presence all day. What had started to become a familiar, ambient connection between us was now tight, a low hum that seemed to place him very far away.

"Where's Grayson?" I asked Thalia when I saw her in the hall.

She stopped and gave me an inquisitive look. "He's out doing Alpha stuff. Sometimes he has to leave the house to check out something at the edge of our territory or meet with a fellow pack.”

"Oh." My chest constricted again, though I couldn't fathom why.

Thalia raised an eyebrow but said nothing more. "If you're bored, why don't you head to the lakeside? It's a nice day, and I know you like it there."

The suggestion was too tempting. The lake had been the only place where I truly felt at peace.

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll go for a while."

The walk was serene down to the lake; its path shaded by tall trees whose leaves rustled softly with every breeze that came their way. My wolf seemed eager, energy humming low within her as we approached the water.

Upon reaching the lake, I saw a familiar spot close to the edge of the water and sat down, drawing the novel out from my backpack. The natural light did justice to its beautiful cover, and with fingers caressing it, I opened it to the first page.

At first, it was entrancing, the story moved me through in great detail and emotional depth. But after a while, my mind started to wander.

I thought of Thalia and how nice she had been since I'd gotten here. Her patience, her warmth, it was so clear she was trying to make me feel welcome.

And then, of course, my thoughts drifted to Grayson.

Where was he now? What was he doing? I hadn't even realized how much I'd come to notice his presence until it was gone.

I shook my head, frustrated with myself. I really shouldn't be thinking about him this much.

My wolf had no such compunctions, though. She whined softly, clear in her emotions that she missed him.

"I don't miss him," I whispered to myself, hoping that if I said it loud enough, it would be the truth.

But even as I tried to banish the thought, I could feel the bond between us gently tug at my heart, some invisible thread yanking me closer despite how far away he was.

I closed the book and leaned back against the rock, staring out at the tranquil water. The lake was still-peaceful, a calmness I almost envied.

"He's different," Thalia's voice echoed in my mind. "Give him a chance."

Could I?

Would it suffice for me to trust Grayson not to be another Cassius, not to harm me with the bond we held together?

My chest ached with the collision between remembrance and the fragile bud of hope that had started blooming in my heart. More care was called for because I couldn't let a repetition of the previous circumstances happen.

The sun had started to set, an array of pinks and oranges across the sky; it was time to head back. I felt both relieved and apprehensive, the thought of heading back to the pack house weighing within me.

The walk back, my wolf was still restless, entangled in my emotions much as I was. She wanted me to trust him, give this bond a chance.

But I just couldn't bring myself to do that, not yet at any rate.

By the time I reached the pack house, Thalia was waiting for me near the entrance. "Dinner's ready," she said with a smile.

I faltered. The memory of my last attempt to join the pack for a meal was just a little too fresh. "I think I'll eat in my room again.”

Thalia nodded sympathetically. "I'll have dinner sent up to you."

"Thank you," I said softly and turned upstairs with a tiny smile.

The same friendly woman who had brought the food earlier came with my dinner into the room; her manner was warm and soothing as it was before. I said, "Thank you" quietly, and she left me alone without a word.

I ate slowly, my mind still circling back to Grayson. This bond between us was growing stronger, and no matter how hard I wanted to fight it, I just couldn't help the pull.

When I was done, I showered and changed into something comfortable. The novel I had picked up lay on the nightstand, but I didn't have the heart to read it again. I was too scattered, too raw.

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as this pang of longing I couldn't explain tugged within me. My wolf purred softly, nudging me to trust him, to let the bond bring us closer.

But I couldn't.

Not after Cassius.

Maybe someday, when the scars of my past no longer dictated my future.

What I could do now was to live in the moment.