Chapter 12: A taste of freedom

I sat by the window, staring out into the world beyond, the soft glow of evening sky, a burning gold and orange. The grounds were serene: a soft breeze stirred the trees. But my mind was quite another matter. Thoughts danced in my brain, refusing to settle.

Grayson. The bond. This new life.

I let out a sigh, leaning my head against the cool glass. My wolf stirred restlessly, her emotions a confusing tangle of longing and contentment. She trusted him, I could feel it. She wanted to be closer to him, to explore the bond between us. But I couldn't let my guard down. Not after everything I'd been through.

It was the sudden knock at my door which pulled me from my reverie. My heart leapt, and for one wild moment, I could have sworn it was him.

"Come in," I called softly.

The door creaked open, and Thalia stepped inside. She was a picture of easy confidence, her dark hair pulled neatly back, her grey eyes, so like her brother's, twinkling with warmth.

"I thought I'd find you here," she said with a slight smile, stepping into the room.

I straightened a little in my chair, tucked a stray lock of hair back behind my ear. "Did you need something?"

Thalia shook her head, her face soft. "No, but I thought you might want to step outside for a bit. You've been indoors since you arrived. A walk could do you some good."

I stared and wasn't quite sure of feeling the whole moment. At the moment, my wolf was sure: she practically purred at the promise of open air and space outside.

"I don't know," I said dubiously, "I don't want to run into anyone".

"You won't," she replied seriously, "I'll take you to some quiet place. it is going to be only the two of us."

She was reassuring, and I felt myself nodding before doubt overrode the decision. "Okay. A walk sounds nice."

The cool evening air wrapped itself around me as we stepped outside into the breeze, which carried in it a faint scent of flowers and earth. There was open space around the pack grounds, and a thick forest that just seemed to go on and on. For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt a small sense of freedom.

Thalia led the way down a quiet path, soft grass muffling our footsteps. She glanced over at me from time to time, her expression preoccupied, like she weighed up whether to say something or not.

Finally, she spoke. "Did Grayson ever tell you about how he became Alpha?"

I shook my head, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Our parents were the Alphas before him," she began. "When they decided to step down, they gave everything to Grayson. He didn't want it at first. Thought he wasn't ready. But he took it on anyway because he wanted to protect the pack."

"Protect them from what?" I asked softly.

"Everything", she said with a small shrug. "Grayson has always been that way, putting others before himself, even when it's at his own expense."

These words told of a man totally different from the Alpha I had encountered in the past and for a second, I could actually allow myself to believe that Grayson might actually be as nice as he seemed.

We walked until Thalia slowed, her eyes scanning the horizon before finally coming to rest on me.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

I tensed slightly. "I suppose."

"Are you and Grayson mates?"

The question hit me like a strike of lightning. My very first instinct was to say no, to push that idea away, but it was hard to do so with the strong connection between us.

"You don't have to answer," she hastened to add, softening her expression. "I already know. My brother hasn't said anything, but I can see it in the way he looks at you, the way he acts when you're around. He's been off himself the last while; there's something that happened and it has made him withdraw from the rest of us, but since you got here, he has been different, in a good way."

Thalia gave me a soft smile. "You should give him a chance, Althea. I know he's rough around the edges, but he's a good person, he's been through so much, and he's still trying to be that kind of mate you deserve."

Her words hit home, and my chest tightened. "I don't know," I whispered low. "Trusting someone is just something I won't be able to do. Not anytime soon."

Thalia stopped walking and turned fully toward me. Her eyes softened, and she nodded. "That's okay. Take your time. No one's rushing you. But just know that Grayson isn't like… whoever hurt you before."

Her words hung in the air, heavy and unspoken. She didn't press for details, and I was grateful for that.

The path we'd walked down opened into a little clearing, and I saw up ahead, a tranquil lake. It reflected the fading light of the setting sun back at itself, casting everything in hues of gold and warm colors.

"Do you mind if I stay here for a while?" I said in a hushed tone.

Thalia nodded. "Of course. I'll come back in an hour to check on you."

With that, she turned and walked away, leaving me to my thoughts.

I moved closer to the water, sitting on a large rock by the shore. The lake was so still, so peaceful, and for the first time in days, I felt a semblance of calm.

My wolf stirred, her emotions clear. She wanted to trust Grayson, give him the chance he deserved.

But I couldn't. Not yet.

I thought about the way he had looked at me, the softness in his eyes, the tone in which he spoke to me like I was something precious. So different from what I knew, and that only made things more difficult.

What if all of this was just an act? What if Grayson was just another Cassius, simply waiting for that perfect moment to show me his true colors?

I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts from my mind, but no matter how hard I tried, the bond between us wouldn't break. It hummed beneath my skin, a constant reminder that fate had chosen him for me, but then fate had chosen Alpha Cassius for me and see how that turned out. I sighed and looked up at the sky.

The sky was darkening; I heard footsteps behind me, and turned to find Thalia approaching, her expression almost warm, yet inscrutable somehow.

"Dinner's almost ready," she said. "Would you like to join us in the dining hall?"

I flashed back straightaway to my last attempt at joining them in the dining hall and shook my head fast. "No, I… I'd rather not."

Thalia nodded and her eyes, filled with understanding, said it all. "That's all right. I'll have your food brought to your room."

I gave her a slight smile as a spark of thanks flew between us.

"Oh," she tacked on as I had begun to turn and go, "we're going shopping tomorrow. Just you and me. It's gonna be fun, I promise."

I didn't answer, not really sure how I was supposed to feel about the suggestion. But Thalia didn't push. She gave only a small smile and moved back in the direction of the pack house.

By the time I reached my room, it was to see a woman with kind eyes and a warm smile, standing and waiting with a plate of food. She placed the food on the table smiling and went away, just that much simple, just that much soothing.

"Enjoy your dinner," she chimed in sweetly and was gone.

I ate in silence, save for the sound of cutlery clinking against the plate. The food was very delicious, but I hardly tasted anything, my mind so tangled with thoughts that it was hard to focus on anything else.

Then, the steaming water massaged my stiffening muscles while showering. Finally, I plunged into bed, and what I got was the silky embrace of the sheets but my mind refused to rest.

The softer words of Thalia were the ones that mostly came to my mind,I also thought of the calm and quiet water laying still in the lake, wishing that I could be as calm as the waters there.

And of course my mind wandered to Grayson.

My wolf purred at just the thought of him, so confident was she in our bond.

But as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, sleep was not coming anytime soon, the nagging thought that all this was going to result in no more than extra pain wouldn't leave me alone.

Yet, part of me needed to think that maybe, just maybe, Grayson could be different. That he actually would be the mate I hadn't counted on having.

With such thoughts creeping into my mind, all I could do was wait, and at that point, sleep overcame me.