Chapter 15: What is happening to me?

Alpha Anton P.O.V

Becoming the new alpha of the Dark Moon Pack my father once led. I thought the only issue I would be facing was all the problems in becoming a leader of a pack. I never once thought that one day I would look at my Luna and felt nothing. I no longer felt any connection with her. Being around her was as if I was dwelling within my mansion alone and mate-less. I squeezed my hand into a tight fist; remembering the day my father, former alpha Eric, informed me about my first mate who was taken from me by death before I had known her. Everything was going well with my Luna Talia at first. We had a wonderful and loving life as mates should be. Until everything changed between us the night of the full moon. I lost the bond I once shared with her the night I felt a great connection with another she-wolf. My Luna has been a lovely she-wolf to me throughout the years. I respected that, but the love I once felt for her I do not think I had it anymore. It was no more. I do not want to hurt her, and I fear if I continue to pretend that my love for her was the same, she will soon discover it. I tighten my fist even more loathing the feeling of attractiveness I felt for a she-wolf I have just met. I felt so angry and ashamed of experiencing the wonderful feeling I should only share with my Luna.

Nala, my name is Nala. I remembered her soft voice telling me, scared; while her big brown eyes stare into mine. My fist loosens recollecting how good her body felt against mine and how my wolf enjoyed her scent. I was so frightened of the affection I was feeling for a strange wolf; instead of my Luna. And reacted to her wrongly in hurting her.

I fought hard in blocking away the feeling of sorriness for the strange she-wolf. Every time I regret what I did to her within the cell. The strong affectionate feeling I was experiencing for her grew stronger. Being angry with her and hating her for no apparent reason was the only way that helped me, in blocking the feeling and controlling myself.

I spin my chair around within my office facing the wall trying to get rid of the dark brown hair she-wolf from out of my mind.

"Ha..." I breathe out angrily not being able to stop thinking about her.

My mind again runs on how beautiful she was. She was perfect in every way. I started to breathe heavily as I remember feeling her small hands against my hard chest and how good her fingers pressing into me felt. I felt started to harden. I jumped up angrily, throwing my grey office desk aside, hating I was having an erection for her when I no longer could for my Luna. I quickly ran from my office and into my bathroom stripping myself away from my clothes to take a cold shower.

The cold water runs from my head down to my back helping me to control my uncontrollably sexual desire for the dark brown hair she-wolf. Every time I try to forget her name in remembering her by the color of her hair. My mind would correct me; reminding me that her name was Nala. A strange, short, and a beautiful name that was very easy to remember. Irritated by my uncontrollable behavior; I ran my hand through my short dark hair and lower my head resting it onto the wall of my shower, staring at my manhood laying between my legs. What is happening to me? I thought infuriated.

"Honey, why didn't you tell me you were home," I heard my Luna within my room.

I raised my head answering her.

"I wanted to take a quick shower before I could wrap my hands around you," I lied to her.

I heard her giggle happily waiting on me to exit the shower.

I turned off the shower and started to dry myself. I then use another white towel to wrap around my waist before leaving the bathroom. My Luna sat on the edge of our bed waiting on me. I gave her a warm smile trying hard to conceal the sadness in which I was feeling. She quickly got up from the bed and ran over to me hugging me. I returned her hug and kissed her.

"How was your day?" she asked me as she slowly moved her lips away from me.

"Just like any ordinary day," I answered her.

"Good," she said.

"Had a relaxing day at home?" I asked her; trying hard to forget what had happened.

"Not really, I missed you and could not wait for you to come home," she told me.

"I brought her body closer to mine resting her head on my bare chest.

"You don't need to worry anymore; I'm here babe," I told her sadly.

She hugged me even tighter enjoying my comforting words.

We then heard a knock at the door.

"Miss Talia," we heard one of our maids called. "Are you ready for supper?" she asked from outside.

"We'll be down within a minute," Talia told her as her hands remain around me.

"Get dress and let's enjoy each other company while we have dinner," my Luna told me as she moved her hands away from me.

"Yes," I answered her. "I'll meet you downstairs," I told her as I entered my walk-in closet for some clothes.

My beautiful blonde hair Luna exits the room, waiting on me downstairs.

I reached for a thin white shirt and a short black pants and started to attire myself. Standing within my closet I remembered the wonderful time my Luna and I shared on the light brown floor, before running downstairs to have our dinner. Those were the wonderful time whenever I looked at her, I could only think of ripping her clothes away from her body, but now I felt nothing.

I exit my room and go downstairs into my dining room. My Luna smiled as she saw me. I smiled at her and sat beside her. Soon we began to eat our supper. Red wine, steak, string bean, and mashed potato. I ate slowly staring at the meal before me.

"Are you alright?" my Luna asked me concerned.

I raised my head to look at her right away.

"Yes, I am. I'm with you, aren't I?" I answered her.

She smiled.

"It's strange we're having dinner and you are so quiet and so I thought you didn't want to have dinner with me?" she said sadly.

"Of course not," I answered her. "Why wouldn't I not want to have dinner with my beautiful Luna?" I asked her.

She again smiled and reached for my hand touching me. I too reached for her hand and kissed it, leaving traces of mashed potato on the back of her hand. We both laughed.

I was happy dinner turn out for us well, seeing at first how worried my Luna was of me not paying her any attention at all, which had caused me to fret about how devastated she will become if she found out my love for her was no longer the same. I had to fight hard in finding back the love we once shared.

"Please come to bed now," my Luna called me impatiently.

"I'm coming babe," I answered her as I brush my teeth, dressing ready for bed only in my black boxers.

I washed out my mouth and dried the water away from my mouth entering my room, seeing my Luna within a sexy see-through nightwear waiting on me. My heart started to beat within my chest not knowing what to do. I was not in the mood nor did I want to hurt her.

My Luna turned on her side the moment she saw me, allowing me to see between her legs.

"I want you to hold me the entire night," she told me.

I exhale heavily and walked over to her lying beside her; feeling a bit relieved she was not in the mood for sex before bed. I hold her. She turns around resting her head on my chest as if I was her pillow. I watched her until she fell fast asleep within my arms. I tried to fall asleep after, but I could not. Knowing that every day I will be looking within my Luna's beautiful light blue eyes lying to her whenever she told me that she loves me.

I slowly lifted her head from my chest and place a pillow beneath her head, coming off the bed. Trying not to wake her. I walked over to the bedroom window parting the white curtain and stare at the moon within the sky.

"Why moon goddess, why are you making things so difficult for me?" I asked. "I've been a good alpha in protecting my pack, so why must you make things now complicated between me and my Luna?" I again whispered.

As I pulled back the curtain my mind suddenly runs on the young she-wolf. I ran my right hand through my hair angrily; not wanting to think about her. I then stare at my beautiful sleeping Luna, hoping staring at her would somehow prevent me from thinking about Nala. I sigh heavily hating I could not forget her name.

I did not understand why I was so attractive to her. Was it because the connection between my Luna and I broke that is why I was having feelings for another she-wolf? I thought. I then started to think if I was only attracted to her. I had been so busy lately and the only female other than my Luna I made an encounter with was Nala. I had to see for myself tomorrow if it was her alone I was attracted to or I would have to get rid of her for good. I did not want to love another she-wolf other than my Luna, Talia.