Chapter 13: Chapter Twelve

Night falls and Raphas still hasn't returned. At some point, I'm forced to stand and wander outside to take a piss, and I find that the more I move, the more manageable the pain gets. I go back inside, but I don't lie down. I pace back and forth until I'm certain I'll wear the floor down.

I'm biting my nails, and I haven't bitten them since eighth grade. I used to be so anxious as a teenager. Always worried about what kind of trouble my mother was getting into while I was at school. I don't know how I ever managed to make it through high school. If it hadn't been for Gavin, I would never have gone to college. I wave the thought of him aside for now. I'm worried about Raphas.

Time goes by agonizingly slowly and I wander outside once more. The camp is still and I can smell the others around me. They're in their cabins, fast asleep. I gaze at the stars and the moon is a sliver in the sky. Raphas mentioned the full moon once, and something about shifting. My heart sits heavily in my chest. Is it inevitable? Will I really become a wolf and prowl around the woods?

I smell him before I see him. It's strange having to rely on my sense of smell to look for things, but I'm getting used to it. He's walking stealthily, but there's a limp to his gait and I suppress the urge to run to him. I'm still wounded.

Then, I smell the blood.

He's completely covered in blood, and his pants are ripped to shreds. He leaves trails of blood behind him, and when he reaches me, he frowns.

"You should be resting, Bea. You shouldn't be walking around."

I scoff. "Are you serious? You disappeared for an entire day and you come back hurt. What happened to you? Let me help you."

He shakes his head. "You'll reopen your wounds."

He heads inside and I trail after him. He sits on the ground with a groan and begins inspecting his wounds. I approach him.

"Who did this to you?"

"Two rogues in the woods. They were trying to take me somewhere. My best guess is someone ordered to have me killed." This fills me with dread and I gasp.

"Killed? Who would do such a thing? And what's a rogue?"

"A rogue," he grunts as he prods a wound with his finger, "is a lone wolf. Rogues don't belong to a pack. There were two of them."

"How do you know they don't belong to a pack? I mean, how can you be so sure?" I ask.

He smiles weakly. "That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? My best guess is that they're rogues, but they could easily belong to a pack."

He peels his shirt off and the sight is pitiful. His torso is covered in bites and scratches. It's like he was attacked by wild animals, which is probably the case.

“I thought you went looking for a chamber pot?” I say with a frown. “ How did you end up in the woods?”

“I was looking for one. I wanted a bucket, but I smelled something and I went to investigate. They were watching the camp. I didn’t expect to find two of them. They caught me off-guard, got me some miles away from here. But I managed to revert the situation.”

“How’d you do that?” I ask meekly.

He stops to look me in the eye. “I killed them.”

I gulp and look away. I guess I need to get used to the fact that killing is in their nature. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who was a killer. Raphas is a killer. I don’t know how to digest that idea. Perhaps there’s nothing to think about. I should simply get accustomed to all of this. What other choice do I have?

I see him wince when he moves and I’m compelled to help. He took care of me when I most needed it, and I want to do the same for him. Sure, our relationship is strange and parasitic, but I can’t bare seeing him struggling like this. "Let me help you," I offer.

"There's nothing you can do for me." He says, but I can tell he's lying. "This will heal on its own, like any other flesh wound."

"I can get you some water, so you can wash the blood off."

He shakes his head. "I can do that myself. You need to stay here and rest. I'll heal in no time. And once I do, I'll have to leave."

My heart drops at his words. "Leave? Where are you going?"

He sighs. "My uncle wants me to recruit more pack mates. Which means I'll have to hike to another city and find more people to join our pack."

I nod slowly, but my ears are ringing. "How long will you be gone?"

"About two weeks," he says. "I can't be gone longer than that. Dantes needs me here, but there's no one else he can trust with this task. We can't risk revealing ourselves to the world. I've told you that before, didn't I?"

I take a breath to ease the pressure in my chest. Why do I feel like this? I'm sad and upset that he's leaving. I want him to stay, but I can't tell him that. "Will you tell your uncle about what happened?"

He thinks hard on it. "Do you think I should?"

I'm stunned that he would ask me. "I guess he should know that someone wants to kill you. They could pose a threat to..." I gulp. "...the pack."

He nods in appreciation and stands. His entire body shudders and I feel his pain in my bones. It's strange. I ask him, "Where are you going?"

"To tell him," he simply says. "And to wash this blood off. I can't stand to have another wolf's blood on me."

I pause. "This isn't your blood?"

He smiles. "If it were I'd be dead, Bea."

He leaves and instantly, I feel lonely. I've grown so used to having him around that I feel his absence and it bothers me. I decide to lie down and have a rest. By tomorrow I'll be able to move ably again, I just know. I close my eyes and I dream of Raphas. He seems to be in all my dreams lately.

°°°

I wake up with the sun on my face. I forgot to close the door last night. The camp is filled with noise and I turn to my side. It does feel better, and I stand and I shut the door.

Raphas didn't return from last night and I don't know why I'm so disappointed. He has his own life to concern himself with and I've got mine. He can't constantly be with me, but the irrational part of me refuses to believe that.

I'm hungry, but I don't know what to do about it. There's no way I can go back to the kitchen, not with Amanda there running the whole place, and I can't just wander outside. I don't know my way around that well, and I don't want to run into the wrong people. Or wolves. It's so confusing.

I sit and wait around for the better part of the day. Maybe he already left, and I'm just sitting here like an idiot waiting to die of hunger and thirst. But then again, what else can I do? Where can I go? I don't know anyone here. Just Raphas. He's the only one I can count on.

I decide to go outside. I need to look for some water, at least. The sun is scalding and I cover my eyes with my hands. Once again, I smell him before I see him. His scent is familiar to me now. I can distinguish between his scent and everyone else's. He's carrying something. I smell roasted meat and my mouth waters.

"Where were you going?" He asks with a raise of his brow.

I contemplate telling him the truth, but I change my mind at the last second. "Nowhere." I say this because it's the easiest answer.

I follow him back inside and he hands me the plate. I uncover it and I start eating. I don't stop until the plate is clean. He's standing by the corner and watching me eat with this blank expression. It makes me feel uneasy. Maybe I'm becoming way too much of a burden for him. I lower my eyes.

Once I'm done, I offer to go outside and take care of the plates. "No. You're going to run into Amanda and there'll be more trouble."

I hand him the plate wordlessly and he hands me a flask. I drink all the water and hand it back to him. I noticed he isn't limping anymore. It's like he fully recovered overnight. I expect he'll be leaving soon. We stand looking at each other, but not saying a single word.

"Bea."

"What?"

He smiles and takes my hand in his. I'm shocked at his gesture, but I don't pull my hand away. We stand this way for what feels like an eternity, but probably isn't. It's oddly comforting.

I don't want him to leave, but I don't know how to tell him that.