Chapter 60

“Are you okay?” Tia asked.

I nodded slowly. “I just need a moment.”

I strolled to the window, thinking over my options until Aksala and I decided on what we would do. I focused on the outcome of our shifted plan to quell my rage until I could push it away enough to let my logic overtake my emotions.

The sky was still black, but there was a fuzziness around the edges. I scanned the treeline, and I saw some movement. I knew I was looking for him. I tried to focus on anything else. He would come when he could.

Why did I already miss him?

I do, too - Aksala said - Last night was… nice

Nice - I repeated - Nice is an understatement.

She barked a laugh, and we went over the plan for today, step by step, accounting for any mishaps. It calmed me, and when I came back to myself, to a person I recognized that I could control, the sky was almost gray.

A figure sat on the small balcony, and my heart thudded against my chest. I cracked the window, and his brows pulled together; looking behind me, I had almost entirely forgotten I had company.

“Tia is helping me with something,” I explained.

Tia coughed and said in a shy voice, “I’ll come back in ten minutes. I need to get something anyway.” I heard her shuffle away, and the door opened and closed before I stood back to let him in.

Ezra was in front of me in a moment. “Here,” he said, handing me a pouch. I looked in it and went to grab the small saucepan they used for frying single eggs from the kitchen after Luna Addison complained enough about her eggs being misshapen.

“Thanks,” I murmured. I waited until the pan was hot and carefully poured the last of my dried Silent Juniper into it. “I need something else, something to silence a wolf,” I told him.

Ezra came to kneel beside me; he rubbed his chin as he watched as the powder turned into a silvery liquid. “I might have something, my brothers might,” he responded. “When do you need it by?”

“As soon as possible.”

“I’ll leave it in the book.”

I loved the fact that he didn’t even question me. “Hold this,” I instructed and opened the pouch, taking out the syringes he procured one by one and filling them with the Silent Juniper before capping the needles.

I let them cool by the open window; their shimmering substance calmed me.

“What are you planning for that?” Ezra asked from right behind me. He rested his hands on my waist and leaned his chin on my shoulder.

“Nothing, really,” I murmured, with a slight shrug so as not to disturb where he rested on me. “Just as a backup, in case.”

“For the challenge?”

“No. Never,” I responded with an edge to my voice. “The challenge will be a fair one, despite what he has done. I want it to be fair.” My words rang with resolution.

“That’s very admirable of you,” he said and kissed my shoulder through the thin fabric of my nightgown. His hands wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me closer to him. “I do have something for you.”

“Oh?”

He released me from his arms, and I frowned, turning to face him.

“Here.” He held out the dagger he had let me borrow. I didn’t realize that he had taken it back.

When did he take it back?

I eyed it. Looking at it closely, I realized it was a different dagger. There was a glimmering red stone in the middle of the hilt, where the dagger he had loaned me was only steel.

“For me?” I asked, tentatively reaching for it.

“It’s my dagger, the one I lent you,” he said. I paused, raising a brow. “I had it re-made for you,” he explained, holding it out further.

I brushed my hand over the stone; it was deep, dark red but not as shiny as a gemstone. I had never seen anything like it.

“That is the only thing I had on me when I was found,” he explained, pointing to the stone. I met his eyes. “I have no memory of my short childhood before I was taken in by him.” His jaw set. “The only thing I had on me was the clothes on my back and this in my pocket. I don’t know where I got it from or why I had it. I hid it as soon as I was alone, the very first moment I could, or I knew it would be taken from me. I knew it was special, or maybe I wanted it to be.” A side of his lips tugged up for only a split second.

“I retrieved it years later when I had a better spot for it,” he explained. “Now, I want you to have it.”

“Ezra...” I shook my head.

“Simone,” he replied in a voice that left no room for questions.

I swallowed, blinking back tears. The dagger was gorgeous, but the stone…

“This is the only thing that ever belonged to you,” I said.

He met my eyes. “I have something better now.”

***

Ezra slipped out the window moments before Tia returned. I stood staring at the glass, clutching the dagger to my chest, which was still twisting and turning with emotions. I managed a steady breath and tucked it in the folds of my nightgown.

Tia was sitting in a chair and smiled at me before going back to her work. I sat at my dressing table, slipping the dagger into the drawer and exchanging it for a brush. I worked on the tangles I earned last night. I couldn’t help the smile in the mirror.

“You look good,” Tia noted. I glanced at her in the mirror's reflection, but I didn’t drop my smile. “Different even.”

“I feel different,” I replied.

Today, everything I planned would come to fruition. Something I never planned for was for this day to come with friends and Ezra by my side.

***

Tia worked fast and left well before Alice came in. She silently helped me dress. She frowned at the black dress Tia helped me update. It was tighter, with a lower-cut bodice, that showed off my lean figure. The long sleeves were gone. Instead, thinner straps hung off my shoulders.

Mercifully, Alice didn’t voice any concerns or thoughts aloud as she re-combed my hair, dipping her head before leaving. I braided my hair, slipped on pants underneath, and strapped my dagger to my thigh.

It felt good there—as steady as Ezra was.

I packed a few things, not entirely sure why. A change of clothing, a brush, and the little box Ezra made for me on my birthday I had hidden. I ran my fingers over it before I put it into the sack and tucked it in the back of my wardrobe. I slipped the pouch with the syringes into a pocket I had Tia put into the dress and looked at my reflection.

My eyes weren’t as vacant and lost as they were even a few months ago. The soft gray of them seemed molten. I slid the elbow-length gloves Tia had made from the ridiculous black sleeves. I was impressed by how much she did in those short hours. Lastly, I tied a bit of fabric she hemmed around my neck as a thin choker.

I gave myself one last look, I was satisfied—more than satisfied.

For the first time, looking into this mirror, I felt like myself.