Chapter 31

“What?”Andy panicked.Was he breaking his resolution so soon?

“That’s…oh,that’d be perfect.Wow,yes.Thank you.”Luke painfully eased himself off thebed,Andy aching to help him,but knowing he’d only end up hurting him if he did.“I really do love you.”

“That’s good,because I really love you,too.”

“I know it couldn’t have been easy for you,with you not liking your picture being taken.”

“No,”Andy sighed.“But Tom showed me that only the left side of my face was to the camera.”

Luke kissed Andy’s right cheek.“These scars don’t matter;I love you anyway.”

Kissing Luke back,Andy said,“Just like your past career doesn’t matter to me,”he smiled.“We’re a right pair,aren’t we?”

Luke nodded.“Let’s say we understand each other.”

Andy couldn’t help looking at Luke,still dressed in his western shirt.“You’re fucking sexy in that,you know?”

Luke blushed.“Thanks.It’s one of my favourites.”

“Why are you embarrassed?You must have had loads of people say stuff like that to you.”

“Yes,but…I wasn’t in love with any of them.”

“Didn’t,uh,Roger—”It was Andy’s turn to blush.“Sorry.We shouldn’t talk about past boyfriends,not at a time like this.”

“No,it’s okay.I wanted to ask you about your past,so it’s only fair that you get to ask about mine.That okay?”

Andy shrugged.He didn’t have that much of a past to talk about anyway.

“I thought I was in love with Roger,but looking back,I don’t think I ever was.Not really.”

“Where did you meet him?”

“In a gay club.It was a promotional event for a film I was in.He said some nice things about me and my career.I was a bit drunk,he offered to drive me home and…well,it sort of went from there.He would make me feel safe,at least in the beginning.But then he started using drugs and they…they soon became more important to him than me.”

“I’m sorry.”Andy put his hand over Luke’s.“We all make mistakes.”

“Did you?”Luke looked at him shyly.

Andy let out a breath.“Yes,in a way.He was called Sandy.He was from Northern Ireland.We were both on a course at Aldershot.I think it was love—or at least passion—at first sight.He had digs off base.Billets for non-married service personnel were,are,crap.So—”He thought it would be awkward talking about Sandy—even Tom and Paddy,his best friends,didn’t know about him—but he didn’t feel the least bit uncomfortable bringing Sandy’s name up with Luke.

“You said once that you had a relationship which didn’t work out because you were too,uh—”

“Controlling.Yeah,that was Sandy.He knew his own mind,just like me.We argued on so many things,even whose turn it was to buy that week’s groceries.We both wanted to do it.We both needed to prove that we were the chief provider.Stupid,now I think about it.Though the make-up sex was always good.”

Luke chuckled.

“We were together for about six months.I’d finished my course and had gone back to my unit.Sandy was based at Aldershot.We saw one another at weekends,but—”

“Absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder?”

Andy shook his head.“I think our relationship had run its course.We’d get together every now and again to fuck,but that’s all it was.Any love I’d had for Sandy went out of the windowlong before.”

“Did you ever tell him about Afghanistan?”

“No.”Andy shook his head.He thought he could see something in Luke’s expression.“Don’t worry;if he came knocking on my door tomorrow,I’d never take him back or choose him over you.”Andy cupped Luke’s face.The man’s skin was so clean,pure,soft.“I never felt a quarter for him what I feel for you now.”

“Me,too.With Roger,I mean.”

****

Later that evening,Andy was holding Luke in their customary position on the sofa when the phone rang.Andy was too comfortable to want to get up,but thinking it might be Craig,he reluctantly left the warmth of Luke’s body to answer it.

“You should get a cordless,”Luke said as Andy stood up.

“I’d end up losing it.Least I always know where this one is.”Picking up the phone,Andy said,“Hello?”

“I just thought I’d ring up,you know,to find out,you know,if everything was all right withyou and Luke.”

“Um,hi,Tom.Thanks for calling.Uh,no.I…Well,Luke called his friends in London.I agreedto put him on the train,and—”

“What?Oh,no!Oh,Andy,no.”

Andy laughed.“Just pulling your leg.Luke is here,he’s fine,I’ve explained and apologised for being such an idiot.He’s forgiven me and—”

“You bastard!”

“Sorry,love,but I couldn’t resist,”Andy smiled.It wasn’t often he joked around with hisfriends;no wonder poor Tom was taken in.“You want to talk to him?”

“Please.You wait,I’ll get you back for this,you—”

Andy moved the receiver away from his ear and held it out to Luke.“He isn’t happy.”

“I’m not surprised,”Luke said,taking hold of the receiver.“Hi,Tom...Yeah…yeah—”

Andy hated listening to telephone conversations when he could only hear one side.He went back to the sofa and waited for Luke to finish.Luke kept smiling over at him.

“And guess what?…No,guess—”

Andy rolled his eyes.

“He said he loves me.Oh,God,Tom,I—”Andy rose from the sofa.“I’m so happy.Andy’s so amazing,but then you know that.—”

Andy could hear Tom speaking,but not the actual words.

“He’s also agreed that the picture of the pair of us can go up on my site…yeah,isn’t that great?Andy says that he wants everyone to know that I’m his,and—”

More words from Tom.

“Look,with my arm as it is,I can’t type.Could you come over sometime and upload that picture,plus a message from me,to my site?”

Andy knew Tom would agree to that.He was a whiz with computers.

“Thanks.We’ll see you tomorrow at noon,then.”

“You mean I’ve got to feed the buggers again?”Andy huffed.

After listening to the phone for a few seconds,Luke turned to Andy.“Paddy said you can open that large tin of red salmon you’ve been hiding at the back of the pantry.”

“Piss off,”Andy said,loud enough for his friends to hear.

****

It was Friday afternoon.Jessica said she had a dental appointment and asked Andy if he could pick Craig up from school.As Craig was due to spend the weekend at the farm,Andy didn’t mind.Although he would have preferred more than the twenty-four hour notice Jessica had given him.They’d arrived early;Luke said he was uncomfortable sitting in the van,so they’d decided togo for a short walk until Craig was let out.

“Uncle Andy.Luke.This is Dennis.”

Craig stood next to a thin boy a couple of inches shorter than him.The lad was dressed head to toe in black.He was smoking.Andy didn’t know why that bothered him so much.Hadn’t Luke come out from that pub for a cigarette break when they first talked?Now he thought about it,hecouldn’t remember seeing Luke with a cigarette after that.Andy made a mental note to ask him about it sometime.