Chapter 29

“These were some other pictures we took.”Tom clicked a couple of times and in one image Andy was in the shot,bending down to give Luke a kiss to the top of his head.

Luke felt warmth flush over him;this was the first time he’d seen a picture of the two of them.

“You’re not putting that on the Internet!”Andy said,Luke feeling his boyfriend’s body stiffen.

“Relax,big guy,”Tom told him.

“I couldn’t resist taking it,”Paddy said.“You two looked so…together.It’s really sweet.”

Luke continued to stare at the screen.It did indeed show them together during a tender moment.Luke thought it was a beautiful picture.It captured perfectly how Andy always looked at him with such tenderness.How he was always there to protect and care for him.

“You shouldn’t have taken it!Rub it out;delete it or whatever you do with them.”Andy pointed a trembling finger at the screen.

“No!”Luke exclaimed.Everyone turned to look at him.“I want a copy.Can you print one out?”

“Uh,not here.Andy doesn’t have a colour printer,”Tom said.“But I could run you one off at home,or better still,send it to an online photo printers.”

“You’re not sending it anywhere.”Andy was insistent.

Luke felt as though someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over him.He started to shiver.Itwas proof that Andy was ashamed of him,that he didn’t want to be seen with a porn actor.Whereas Luke wanted to shout from the rooftops that this awesome,strong,wonderful man had agreed to be his boyfriend.

Luke shrugged Andy’s hand from his shoulder.“I think I will go and lie down,”he mumbled,leaving the room.He heard Andy say something,which was quickly followed by Paddy’s voice.Hedidn’t care.He just had to get away,be by himself for a while.

He loved Andy;so many times it had been on the tip of his tongue to say it,but he’d sensed Andy wasn’t ready.Now he knew exactly how unready he was.

Climbing the stairs,Luke asked himself how he could have got Andy so wrong.

“Luke,wait!”

Luke didn’t turn round,and Andy made to follow him.

“No,I’ll go.”Paddy put a hand on Andy’s arm.

Andy turned to see the five feet even Tom standing on a chair,hands on hips,a pissed-off expression on his face.He knew he was in for it now,especially when Tom’s small hands reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“You dozy pillock.”

Why didn’t they understand?They knew he hated having his picture taken,and if it was going on the internet,that was…well…he couldn’t.“I don’t want my picture on the—”

Tom shook him.“Your picture wasn’t going anywhere,you fool.”

“But this online print thingy.”

“Oh,Andy,”Tom shook his head.In a calmer voice he said,“You know how much I love you,don’t you?”Tom’s small hands rubbed at Andy’s cheeks.

Andy nodded,not sure where Tom was going.

“An online printer is just like sending your pictures through the post,except you send them electronically—”

“But I can’t have—”

Tom put a finger to Andy’s lips.“Just listen.We know that you don’t want people looking at pictures of you,although,honestly,your scars aren’t as bad as you think they are.”Tom fingered Andy’s right cheek.

Andy made to speak,but Tom continued.“Trust me.The pictures won’t appear on any websites.No one except the person doing the developing will see them,and I imagine all that’s done by amachine anyway.When they’ve been developed,they’re put in an envelope and posted to you.That’s all.”

Andy felt foolish.He knew he was sensitive about his appearance.He’d never forget the looks of horror and pity that he received when he first got out of hospital.If anything,the pity hadbeen worse than the disgust.

“Oh,God!Luke.”Andy tried to get loose.“I need to go and—”

“No,love,let Paddy explain to him.I want to show you something on the computer first.”

“But,I—”

“Trust me.”Tom gave him a hug.“This won’t take long.”

Eventually,Andy nodded.Tom jumped down from the chair,Andy automatically reaching out to steady him.Tom sat in the chair and beckoned Andy to sit next to him.

“Now,this picture.Take a good look at it.”

“Uh,okay.”Andy looked.It was the same picture of Luke and himself.

“Imagine the picture is of two people you don’t know.”

“Huh?”

“It’s called objectivity.Come on,what do you see?”

“Uh,well.This really good looking blond-haired man is leaning on a gate.”

“Yes,go on,”Tom encouraged.

“And,uh,there are pigs and a few bales of straw and—”

“Come on,stop avoiding the issue.”

Andy looked at Tom.“It’s me.What do you want me to say?”

Tom sighed.“What does the man look like?Just tell me what’s on the screen,nothing else.”

Andy looked.“Uh,well,he’s taller than the blond.Sort of wider,too.”

“Uh huh.What else?What is he doing,which way is he facing?”

“He’s looking at the blond man.His head is sort of ducked down.Maybe he’s just kissed him or is about to.”

“Yes,very good.What else about the man’s face?”

“Well,uh,he’s not as good looking as the blond,but—”

“But?”Tom seemed to tense.

“No scars,”Andy whispered.

“Hallelujah!The man has the left side of his face toward the camera.”Tom reached up and ran his fingers down the left side of Andy’s face.“Smooth as a baby’s bottom.”

Andy squirmed.It wasn’t that smooth.But the penny had dropped.

“See?Even if this picture is blown up,”Tom clicked a few times on the mouse,“There’re still no scars.”

“Yeah.”

“Now,”Tom moved the enlarging lens over to Luke,whose head was partially turned toward Andy.“What’s the expression on his face?”

“He looks happy.”

Tom scoffed.“Come on.”

Andy stared at the screen and swallowed.Luke looked…It seemed as though Luke had a peaceful,even adoring expression.

Whispering,Tom said,“Andy,that man is in love with you.It’s so obvious.”

Andy shook his head.“No.”