Chapter 22

“Thanks,but when—”Andy stopped to clear his throat.“When I slept with you and when,uh,when I helped you shower,I,well,I—”

“Go on,it’s all right.”Luke thought he knew what Andy was trying to say,but he knew he had to let him say it himself.

“Well,I thought I was becoming like those people who just were interested in you because of what you do,because…you’re so beautiful and it was wrong that I was getting aroused by touching you,”Andy babbled.“I thought that if I didn’t touch I could be the friend you need,but I’m not a saint and it’s hard,uh,I mean—”

Luke laughed.“Oh,Andy,no.”

“Please,I—”

Luke changed his mind about needing Andy to verbalise what had been happening.It was too cruel.Luke felt strangely elated that Andy didn’t hate him,or felt an obligation to help himand all the countless other situations that he had thought up to explain Andy’s odd behaviour.

“No,Andy,just listen a minute.I think I understand.You’re saying that because you got aroused when you were touching me,I’d think bad of you.”

“Yeah,‘cause I’m not like all those others.I honestly—”

Luke silenced him with a kiss on the mouth.“Andy,you are one of the nicest,kindest,sweetest,most honest people it’s ever been my pleasure to meet.I know many men find me attractive.I was actually flattered that you still did,with me all bruised up and stuff.”

“I know but—”

“No buts.Heck,we’ve not communicated very well.You because,well,it’s not your style,though I’m so glad you said something because I was thinking about going back home.”

“No!”

That was definite,Luke thought.“It’s all right,I won’t go.Not unless you clam up on me again.”

“Sorry.You’re right;I’m not very good at saying what’s bothering me.”

“I know,and in lots of ways it’s kinda nice that you prefer actions rather than words.But you see how not talking can upset everything?”

“Yes,sorry.”

“Look,it’s late and I’m knackered.But I think we need to sort this out before we go to sleep,and by the way I’m sleeping here with you,all right?”

Andy smiled.“I’m more than okay with that.It was,I mean,I really enjoyed sleeping with you last night.”

It was Luke’s turn to smile.Andy was making a real effort.“Thanks,me too.But to get back to what we were saying.I don’t care,no,scrub that,I care a lot that you find me attractive.It’s a good thing,really flattering as I said.And no,not for a minute do I think you’re like those other people who are just interested in me for what they think they can get.I know,‘cause you’ve shown me lots of times that you’re not like that.”

“Thanks.”

“Look,Andy.I really,really,like you.You’ve become very special to me over the past few months.”Luke could feel that Andy was uncomfortable with the declaration,but it needed to besaid.“I don’t care at all that you’re a bit older than me.I don’t give a fuck that you wereinjured.Well,no,I do care,a lot.But you know what I mean.I don’t care at all that it’s left you with scars.”Luke put his hand on Andy’s heart.“It’s what’s in here,”he moved his hand to Andy’s head,“and here that’s important.I’ve told you loads of times that I’ve been with lots of beautiful men,and okay,some were nice enough,but most were,well,their good looks were just on the surface.Inside there was nothing.”

“I know,I’m sorry.I shouldn’t have doubted you,or me.”

“That’s all right.But you,you’re—”It was Luke’s turn to be lost for words.He had to fall back on what he’d said previously.“You’re special,you’re kind and good and,well…special.”

Andy laughed softly.

“See,you’re not the only one to get tongue tied.I don’t get much of a chance to say this sort of stuff,because I never get to meet blokes as kind,as good,or as decent as you.”

“Thanks.”Andy was blushing,but he hadn’t pulled away or hidden his face.

“Now,can we save the rest of this until tomorrow?I’m bushed.”

Andy smiled.“Yeah,so am I.”

“So give us a kiss.”

Andy did so,and it wasn’t a brief peck,either.

“And please,Andy,promise me you won’t get all weird and distant on me again in the morning.”

“I’ll try.”

Luke knew that was as good a promise as he was likely to get.He looked up at the ceiling light.“Will you turn that off,I’ve just got warm and I’m too tired to want to get up.”

“Yes,dear,”Andy said,getting out of bed.

Luke smiled.Clearly there was still some way to go,but he knew they’d made progress.

Andy got back into bed,Luke snuggled up to him as much as his cast and his ribs would allow.

“Goodnight,special friend.”

“Night,Luke.”

Yes,there was still some way to go.

“When I was in the army hospital after the explosion,”Andy said,wringing out a face flannel,“I once got a bed bath from this male nurse.”

“Ooh,was he hot?”

Andy smiled.Knowing he had to prove to Luke he was making an effort to be more open about his feelings,he said,“Yes,very.”Waiting a heartbeat,he added,“But,he wasn’t a patch on you.”

Luke’s smile lit up the bathroom.“Thanks.But you were saying?”

“Oh,yes.The bed bath.”Andy discarded the flannel and rubbed the soap in his hands and built up a lather.“He washed my legs,even in-between my toes.”Andy picked up one of Luke’s legs and began to massage his foot,causing the younger man to groan.

“Perv,”Andy smiled.

“Hey,you’re the one rubbing my foot.”

“Yeah,I am,aren’t I?”

“This male nurse?”Luke asked.

“Sorry,I get distracted easily when you’re around.”

Out came Luke’s smile again.Andy resisted the temptation to kiss him;they’d never get the bath over with if he didn’t.

“Well,after he washed my legs,he started on my top half.”

“Lucky sod,touching all those gorgeous muscles.”

“I thought you wanted me to tell this story.”

“Sorry,please continue.”

“Thank you.Well,he washed my top half,then he rinsed out the flannel,which was really scratchy and rough,nothing like the ones we use in civilian life.”

“Get on with it.”

“Impatient bastard.”Andy leaned into the bath and this time did kiss Luke,just to show he didn’t mean what he’d said.

Luke tried to lean deeper into the kiss,but Andy withdrew,causing Luke to pout.

“So anyway,this male nurse,”Andy said,knowing he was teasing Luke by dragging out the story.

Luke shook his head,but didn’t say anything.

“He said,‘I’ve washed all that’s possible,so here.’He handed me the flannel and said,‘It’s up to you to wash the impossible.’”

Luke started to laugh,but suddenly stopped and grimaced.“Shit.”

“I’m sorry.”Andy knew it hurt Luke to laugh.

“It’s okay.But I’ve never heard a bloke’s equipment called that before.”

“No.But…”Andy stared at Luke’s own equipment.Like the rest of him,it was beautiful and perfect and…

“Andy?”

“Uh,sorry.”He cleared his throat.Though he wanted to run back to the safety of his shell,Andy knew he couldn’t.“Shall I wash your impossible?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”