Chapter 21

“Luke’s just a friend,”Andy said,dimming Luke’s happy mood.

“Of course he is.”Luke didn’t miss the sarcasm in Paddy’s voice.

“Come on,then,we best get home.”Andy hovered as Luke got out of his chair.

Luke winced at the pain coming from his chest.

“A hot bath,that’s what you need,”Tom said,following them out.

“Yeah,that might help,”Luke admitted,knowing Andy would have to help him bathe.

“You make sure he puts in plenty of Epsom salts,”Tom said to Luke,but pointing at Andy.

“Stop fussing,”Andy said,but Luke could tell he didn’t mean it.

“We’ll be over sometime tomorrow,probably,”Paddy said,opening the van door to allow first Lassie,then Luke,into the van.

“But don’t worry,we’ll knock before coming in,”Tom added.

“Fuck off,”Andy said.“Oh,and here,you can have this back.”Andy gave them Mrs Bossyknickers.

“Did it work okay?”Tom asked,taking the proffered device.

“Yeah,not bad,”Andy admitted.

“Looks like our mission to drag him into the twenty-first century is working,”Paddy said to Tom.

“Though God knows why he’s so resistant;they must have had navigation devices in the army,”Tom replied.Turning to Andy he added,“Or did you use sextants and theodolites?”

“Piss off,”Andy told them,slamming his van door.Winding down the window,he added,“Thanks again for looking after things.”

“You’re welcome,”Paddy said,leaning in and kissing Andy’s cheek.

****

Back at the farm,Andy settled Luke in a chair in the kitchen,“Where it’ll be warmer,”and made sure he was comfortable with extra cushions.After giving him a banana,his pills and somewater,Andy went upstairs.

Luke sat,rocking in his chair,feeling pampered by Andy’s attentions.However,just before leaving for the pig sheds,Andy dropped the bombshell that while he was upstairs,he’d put Luke’s things in the spare room.

Luke couldn’t speak;he was confused,upset,and hurt.But Andy didn’t seem to notice as he put on his boots,whistled for Lassie,and left the house through the kitchen door.

Yet again Luke couldn’t work Andy out.It was like there were two different men who lived in the same body.Luke never knew which Andy he’d see:the remote and almost uncaring Andy,or the warm and protective Andy,always solicitous of his needs.Maybe it had been a mistake to come to Yorkshire.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone.Luke looked around,wondering if there was an extension in the pig sheds,but the thing continued to ring and he thought he better answer it.

“Um,hello?Johnson’s Piggeries.”He felt awkward about answering someone else’s phone.

“Who’s that?”Craig’s voice asked.

He didn’t know why,and given his mood,Luke surprised himself with his reply.“The first time we met,you asked me if I knew who I was.Now you need me to tell you who I am.”

“Luke!”Craig yelled down the phone,causing Luke to move the receiver away from his ear and break into a grin.

“Right first time.”

“What are you doing at Uncle Andy’s?”

Luke wasn’t sure how much he ought to tell the boy.“Well,I got hurt and your uncle came down to London and brought me back up here.”

“Oh,right,I wondered why I couldn’t get him yesterday.Oh,sorry.What happened,are you all right?How long are you staying?Is Uncle Andy seeing to his pigs?”

Luke laughed,but again his ribs intervened.“I should be all right after a bit.I don’t know how long I’m staying.”Not long if Andy continues with his dual personality,he thought.“And yes,your Uncle Andy is with his pigs.”Luke knew he’d not answered the question about how he’d been hurt,but he hoped Craig wouldn’t notice.“Do you want me to get him,or can I take a message?”

“Oh,uh,it wasn’t important.Tell him I’ll ring him tomorrow.”

“Okay,no problem.”

****

He couldn’t sleep.It wasn’t the bed,which was comfortable—and thanks to Andy insisting on finding and putting on an electric blanket—it was warm enough,too.Although his ribs hurt a little,if he lay still,they more or less behaved.No,it was Andy’s refusal to sleep with himthat kept Luke awake.He remembered the previous night and how safe and yes,loved,he had felt.Despite his various bodily aches,Luke had quickly fallen asleep and hadn’t woken once in the night.So why had Andy not wanted to repeat the previous night’s arrangements?Luke hadno clue.As far as he knew he didn’t snore or move around too much in the bed.Luke could only conclude that Andy just didn’t want to sleep with him.

Staring up at the shadowy ceiling,Luke determined that as soon as Sam and Donnie got back from the Caribbean,he’d return to London,taking the train if necessary and…and probably never see Andy again.He couldn’t help the few tears that escaped.He sniffed and wiped away his tears,feeling totally miserable.He needed a tissue or some toilet paper to blow his nose.Easing himself out of bed,Luke padded onto the landing and into the bathroom,where Andy had left the light on.This silent demonstration of caring caused more tears to fall.Luke just couldn’t work out what Andy was up to.

Sitting on the closed toilet lid,Luke composed himself.When he eventually felt calmer,he stood,wincing at the pull in his ribs.Spying his reflection in the mirror over the sink,he saw that his eyes were red rimmed.He splashed some cold water on his face before drying it on a towel.

Re-entering the landing,he almost bumped into a naked Andy.

“Sorry,”they both said at the same time.

Silence descended.Luke didn’t feel like making small-talk,so stepped aside to pass.But Andy held out a hand to stop him.

“Luke,I…”He swallowed and didn’t seem to know what else to say.

“Andy?”Luke asked to fill the silence.

“Look,I…I’m sorry.For today,for how I’ve been behaving.I just…”

Luke wanted to say that it was all right,but it wasn’t.So he just stood there in the half gloom,the only light coming from the bathroom with its partially opened door,and tried to ignore what Andy’s naked body was doing to him.

“I don’t want you to think that I don’t care.‘Cause I do.”Little above a whisper he added,“Probably too much.”Then speaking at normal volume he went on,“I could see that youwere upset,confused.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck.I’m no good at this.”Andy ran his fingers through his hair,which was already in disarray.It looked as though he’d had just as sleepless a night as Luke.“I want to help you.I like helping you.But I don’t want to go too far;I know I can do that.It’s what broke up my last relationship.Me not knowing when to stand back.”

This was the first Luke had known of any previous relationships.

“But I…you…it’s not easy.”Andy shook his head in obvious frustration.

“I told you,I don’t care that we’re different,on the surface,I mean.”

“Thanks,but no,it’s not that.Well,not entirely.Oh,bugger,I’m not making myself clear.”

Luke began to shiver.He’d not put on his dressing gown when he’d left the bed,and there was a fierce draught blowing round him.

“I’m sorry,you’re cold.Look,come back to bed with me and I’ll try and explain.”

Luke’s heart lifted at the offer,but he tried not to let his emotions show.

Andy took his hand and led him to the master bedroom,where the sheets and blankets were tangled and had been pulled loose from the foot of the bed.

“Hang on a minute,”

Andy quickly straightened the bedclothes.He lifted one corner and beckoned to Luke to get in.Andy then found a pair of boxer shorts and put them on before also getting into bed.

Luke’s teeth were chattering;the bed wasn’t all that warm.But Andy’s body was.Andy shuffled nearer and gently held Luke.

“Sorry,”Luke said.

“No,it’s me who’s sorry.Like I said.It’s not easy for me to explain,though I know I have to.‘Cause it’s not fair to you and you said that when you asked your so-called friends for help,they weren’t interested.”

“Yeah.”Luke wasn’t sure where this was going,but he could tell Andy was struggling.He would let him tell it at his own pace.Andy wasn’t a man who spoke his feelings easily and this must be sheer torture for him.

“Well,uh,you said that they lost interest when they found out you needed help.And…well,I’m not like them.”

“Yes,I know.”