Chapter 52

Kendall was pacing up and down Lucien’s office, wringing her fingers like she could squeeze the anxiety out of them.

She’d been waiting for ten minutes, and he hadn’t yet arrived. Trying to guess what he would say to her had her on the edge of her sanity. Would he express his disgust over what they’d done last night? And then fire her because he couldn’t see her the way he used to?

She hadn’t missed the way he’d completely avoided looking at her back at the café. Now she’d have to sit alone with him and listen to him explain, in detail, why he hated her.

The door opened.

She spun around with a gasp.

Lucien stood there, his hand still on the doorknob.

She stared at him, and he stared back. He looked so tense, it seemed like he would just slam the door shut again and walk away.

A small part of her wished he would. She didn’t know how to face him, it was way too soon.

Sadly, he didn’t pull the door closed. He opened it wider and came in.

“You’re here,” he murmured, closing the door behind him.

“Yes,” she quietly said.

“Waited long?” he asked, walking over to a sofa.

She watched him sit. “No. A few minutes…”

He nodded and then looked at her. “Come here, Kendall.”

Her heart lurched. She was frozen, staring at him. “Sir?”

Lucien waved at the chair across him. “Come. Take a seat. We need to talk.”

“Oh…” She released a shaky exhale and walked over to him. What had she been thinking when he’d called her over? That he intended to carry on where they’d left off? She was insane to even think such.

When she was seated and comfortable, he cleared his throat. “So, uhm…”

She couldn’t look at him, staring at her fiddling fingers.

“We need to talk about last night, and… everything.”

She said nothing.

Lucien winced, feeling like an asshole. But he had to do this. He’d stopped being in denial and had accepted it.

Kendall did have some sort of crush on him.

The responsibility he felt over her was what made him feel so predatory, like he’d taken advantage of her. But the truth was that he hadn’t. She’d wanted it and she’d enjoyed it. She'd even encouraged it.

When he thought about the way she had been behaving since she'd started working for him, it became more obvious. She had a crush on him.

He’d been far too blind to see it. Flu? Yeah, right.

She hadn’t lied about not being scared of him or not disliking him. A crush was what she’d been dealing with. Not fear or discomfort.

“Kendall…” he began.

She straightened. “Yes, Sir.”

Lucien looked at her, his gaze soft with patience and remorse. “Look at me, please.”

Slowly, she raised her gaze, meeting his.

“I need to… help you understand something.”

Silently, she nodded.

He sighed. “So… you know I’ve always thought very highly of you. Right?”

She nodded again, her unease showing on her face.

“And I still do,” he quickly added, his voice as gentle as ever. “You’re a brilliant girl. Intelligent, beautiful and just… a lovely human being. That’s why it’s always pained me that you were growing up with nothing except money. So, I tried to offer you a substitute family, to offer you guidance, in place of what your parents should be doing. Because you deserve that.”

The tension was melting out of her shoulder, her wide eyes filling with warmth.

“Thank you,” she softly said.

“No—” Sighing, he shook his head. “Don’t thank me. I just want to make it clear that there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect. I just… I can’t be the person you have a crush on.”

There it was. The bomb.

Kendall stared at him, tension slipping right back into her muscles. He knew she liked him. Obviously. She’d been terrible at hiding it. God, this was embarrassing.

“It’s wrong,” he quietly said. “You know that.”

She looked so pale and haunted by what he was saying, Lucien felt guilt crush him. Her soft lips were pressed together, her gaze flickering in every direction to avoid his. He could see the embarrassment on her face, and it made him want to punch himself in the nose.

She didn’t deserve this.

“Do you… understand?” he gently asked, tilting his head apologetically.

She clenched her chin, shrugging. “Why, though?”

He blinked. “Why what?”

“Why can’t I have a crush on you? Not that I do.”

He raised a brow. “You don’t?”

Kendall fiddled with the hem of her dress. “I… Hypothetically, why would it be wrong?”

“Because I’m twice your age,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m your friend’s father. And because you deserve so much better.”

“Better than Lucien Sinclair?” she murmured. “That would be God.”

“Kendall.” He was shocked.

Like she’d surprised herself too, she looked at him, wide-eyed. “I’m just joking.”

“Are you sure?” His horror was growing with every moment. If she insisted on keeping her crush, it would complicate everything. “Because I really want us to keep working together. Once I find a capable secretary, you’re off to the finance department, and you get to experience your dream job. I don’t want to ruin that for you.”

She blinked. “You’re not firing me?”

“No. Why would I do that?”

She lowered her gaze. So, he wasn’t firing her.

Just rejecting her.

It stung even more than she’d expected.

“I wouldn’t fire you over something as silly as this,” he said. “We’re adults, and we can get past this. Right?”

“Right. ” She forced herself to sound casual. A smile curved her lips because she didn’t want to embarrass herself any more than she already had by looking sad. “Don’t worry. Like I said, I don’t have a crush on you. What happened was just…”

“A mistake,” he offered quietly.

“Right! A mistake. One that… won’t happen again.” She swallowed hard, forcing herself to smile at him.

She felt so humiliated. He probably thought she was a little whore for liking a man so much older than her. The worst part? She couldn’t even deny it.

He studied her forced smile and sighed.

“It won’t,” he confirmed. “It can’t.”