Chapter 65: Past, trust, love

Slowly, I let go of Sin, then let my hands gently fall across his body, the misty warm skin under my hand. My eyes left his broad chest, to the masculine dips of his neck, to his sharp jawline. I finally met his eyes, and he was watching me too, gauging me, almost memorizing my features.

"Thank you," I managed to say again after a while, sniffing a little.

Sin didn't reply, and I slowly started to let my hands leave his body. Just when I thought I had put some distance between us, his hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back, causing me to instinctively wrap my hands around his waist again, my heart skipping two beats.

I immediately looked up into his eyes, and they had glazed over with a darkening storm of intensity and something else, but I couldn't quite tell what it was.

"Sin..."

His fingers cupped my face, and he leaned to me, till his nose was brushing mine, and I could feel his other hand gently caressing the small of my waist.

His right hand left my face slowly, only to gently wrap around my neck, sending waves of lust and submission down my spine.

He pulled me even closer, his eyes darting slowly across both of mine.

"I haven't forgiven you for lying," he whispered to my skin, his thumb running along the skin of my neck. "I won't be able to forgive you for lying to me."

I bit down on my lips. "L... lying?"

He closed the distance a little more, his lips parting against the sensitive skin right beside my lips. I closed my eyes, my breathing ragged, my chest heaving as I slowly dug my nails into his flesh.

"You lied to me about only working according to the contract, Annalise."

"Sin, I...."

"We both know I am not forcing you to be here," he said slowly, his lips tracing even lower, making me even more disoriented. "We both know you want me to."

"Too?" I asked, my eyes opening to meet his, but his face was slowly buried in the crook of my neck.

His hand pressed behind my back, pressing me closer to his body, his lips grazing every sensitive spot on the right side of my neck.

"What do you want to hear?"

I swallowed, my nails digging even deeper. "What does Sin want?" He didn't reply for a minute, and I swallowed, my chest heaving. "You have always been so vocal. What's stopping you from saying that you want me when you know that I could want you too?"

He chuckled lightly, then took a bit of skin between his teeth, sending ripples of pain and pleasure through my wary nerves.

"Because you are still a woman," he answered finally, stroking my hair. "And the first and last time anyone defeated me, it was a woman."

I closed my eyes tight, then put a hand between his body and mine. I knew how powerless I was even before I did it, but he confirmed it for me when he grabbed my hand and effortlessly flipped me around, his hand wrapping around my chest, keeping me bound to him and powerless.

"I can't believe you are still thinking of her even while you hold me like this."

"Are you jealous of her?" He asked, his fingers tightening around me. "Because you have no reason to be."

"And no place to be either," I said, closing my eyes, so what he was doing to my body wouldn't cloud my judgment. It didn't change the fact that he thought he wouldn't be able to trust me because of what Larissa had done, when I was right here in his arms despite the scars his brother had left.

I wondered if he knew the details of what Enrique had done and if he was here, despite knowing that, or if he didn't.

"Answer me, Annalise."

I turned, my brows furrowing. I hadn't realized he had asked a question. "Wh.... What?"

"Are you going to let a past stop you?" He asked again, letting me have a little room so I could turn to him.

I did and met his eyes. For the first time, I could see a crack in those eyes. A dent in that armor. Vulnerability in all of that strength.

"If the past still is relevant... if you don't think you could trust me, then maybe, yes."

His eyes squinted, and it was obviously not what he wanted to hear. Slowly, he let me go, and his hand slowly went behind him, his eyes holding mine.

I swallowed, trying my hardest to regain composure after the wreck he had made of me.

"I guess," he said, his voice low. "Neither of us want to deal with the baggage of the past."

"You don't even know what mine is. But not trusting me because of Larissa...-"

"You never told me," he answered with a small shrug. "And I will not ask. But if we are on the basis of trust, Annalise, maybe you would eventually. I have been all sorts of bare in front of you, and I am not preparing for the day you will use it against me. If that is not trust, I do not know what that word means."

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes. "It is hard."

"Take your time," he said, slowly brushing past me. "You have a lot of time. And in this time, maybe you will trust the things that I say, about being over my ex-wife, about..."

"Of course, I trust you," I blurted, cutting him off. "I trust you enough to share a bed with you and let all of this happen when your brother was the one who raped me six years ago."

He stopped walking, then slowly turned to me, his lips slightly parted. My eyes were now filled with tears, and every beat of my heart was louder than I could bear, louder than every scream I had taken to forget the memories.

"You can't tell me that I do not trust you. You can't, Sin. I am still right here with the one person I am most scared of because of you. For you. Because... because I can't bear to let go just yet. You can't tell me that I do not trust you when I am still here, and I am... I am slowly falling in love with you."